In Search of Truth

Great experiment and revelation by stopping communication.

It's good to know how important we are to them rather than assuming we are important to them.

To a certain extent friendship is like flipping channels, one or other - there are umpteen available to time pass - am I being very harsh to reality.

Having said this we can't alienate ourselves - have to continue but with out much expectations.

Nice one PD.

 

:iagreeI'm a social person too. I've tried this experiment couple of years and found the truth! I went a step further deactivated my FB account too. No use . It was really heart breaking but then I realized people are busy in their own ways. Most of them didn't even realise. I asked few of them, they gave me usual reasons like they are busy, some issue at home, forgot etc. Esp with social person few took a chance and blamed me for not calling them . I also got this comment that I've changed become a solitary person etc. One of my friend told me "I get updates on FB . I know where they travel what they are upto in personnel life (atleast high level knowledge. so I don't bother about the emotional connect".

Not anymore friendship if maintained life long. They are changing over every phase. People tend to like the short term friendship. Rarely school, college friends are grown stronger over the years. I'm surprised sometimes to see people head over heels of friendship and down the line they don't even talk to each other. Why be on extreme?

Now I'm not on FB maintain touch with the few trusted people. Now I just care for people who care for me. I do talk to the rest but then not as before very formal and occasional.

 

That is too hard an experiment in search of truth. good that you are mature enough to accept it in stride. but then relationships are to be always worked on. even when silent and incommunicado. it always does not mean that all those people who did not call or come up to your expectations are not your friends.

there is another angle that i hear among people around me. as long as there is silence i assume everything is fine. she/he knows where to call/buzz us when she is in need.

 

Its not the correct way of evaluating , I would say, atleast in my point of view,
for every good there is something bad associated with it, one can easily evaluate a person by his/her behavioural attributes than doing these experiments, anyhow you did it and found yourself.

 

Dear persecuted DIL,
Why conduct an experiment at all? Without this experiment you would have been more peaceful. Interaction with friends make you happy. Isn't it enough? Now you know the truth, you say. But are you happy? If so, it's fine.
On the other day I got a forward in my mail box...ten kinds of people whom we should okeep at bay. Those who always complain, those who do not show genuine love etc etc. But if we follow them we would not have anyone to interact with and in that interaction we may come across very nice people. We may have imperfections also. We are not angels. It is better to have imperfect friends or acquaintances rather then not having anyone (except kith and kin). I do want people. They interest me more and I like quite some of them (mostly).
Syamala

 

Well said Shyamala , I do agree with your points,
but the thing is truth is bitter, knowing it would hurt us ,but its better late than never...
but I do not support the kind of evaluation OP approached..

 

Dear PD,

Truth is not something we can find from outside and it can be found only inside of us. We as part of our living, create a set of principles and criteria to feel happy or sad. That is what we need to investigate more than investigating the attitude of people around us. It is the communication that happens inside of us that determines happiness or sadness and not the people around us.

In my opinion, the truth that you found is a data point for you to act upon what can you do differently to make yourself happy. Learned people always say that the journey inside of us is much more difficult than the interaction in the outside world. If you initiate an action not to communicate with anyone, it becomes a thought that is energized and capable of preventing people from communicating with you. "Yad Bhavam Tad Bhavathi" is the Sanskrit saying that means "As you think, so you become".

If you create a thought in your mind that the world is so beautiful with great souls and offer flower of love to everyone around you in your thoughts, they will receive those good emotions in you through Akasa, the energy that exist everywhere.

The duty and obligation is not to inquire the character of others around us but to inquire and develop our own character. Everything in this world is about Self confidence, Self improvement and Self satisfaction. Close but yet too far is how we all feel traveling from Annamaya Kosha (Food Sheath) to Anandamaya Kosha (Bliss Sheath). Like you, I am also looking for happiness from people and things around me when I am nothing but Ananda. I know that the only way to get to that stage is not through experiments that would hurt others and me but through experiences that would stimulate my soul.

Viswa

 

OP: various people have various communications styles so using communication as a test of love is a flawed concept right at the start. But over and above that, other people have a whole world going on that doesn't have anything to do with you. To think that folks during the busy pace of life should be spending time thinking and communicating with you is in my opinion narcissistic. They deal with the hot issues of the moment and perhaps they need you to make the effort at communication because they just have too much going on.

For myself, I have friends that I may not hear from for several years but I in no way would jettison the relationship in the way you are doing. The currents of their lives and mine are just not crossing for some period of time.