A shocking incident

kanaka Raghavan · Aug 5, 2014

I am on the look out for a bride for my son.So we had posted my son's profile in a matrimony site and we were getting responses.Suddenly in May a new profile was posted and they showed interest in my son's profile.We also responded .The girl's father rang up and spoke for quite some time.Later we found that horoscopes matched.So the father asked whether the girl could talk to my son through SKYPE so we said yes.So they spoke.After a week my brother in law and my husband's cousin went to their house and saw the family.They liked the family and the girl.Then after a couple of days later the girls' father asked us whether it would be possible for us to come over and meet the girl.We said we could.
So we all flew to Bangalore to meet and girl and the family.The parents and the girl came to receive us at the airport.They seem to be good family and the girl also spoke well.They spoke with us through the evening,there was no outcome.That night we all discussed and my son said OK.My husband told them over the phone and they said they would let us know.The next the day my son and the girl met over breakfast and the girl said she was fine and the girl's father thought it was best we would proceed.We were invited for a dinner at the girl's place and her extended family was there.We had a wonderful time meeting them.
The next we went our Acharaya they also belong to same Mutt we got his blessings.
Then they took us to a restaurant for lunch.That evening my son left back for Dubai as did not have much leave.
We proceeded to Chennai for a week.Then Monday we got a call from the girl's father saying that if it is possible and convenient for us we could have the LAGNA PATRIKA exchanged that week.We consulted our elders and thought it was the best and said yes.So it was decided that we would fly to Bangalore and have it on the following FRIDAY.
So last minute shopping was done in Chennai for the function and we proceeded to Bangalore on THURSDAY and had the function on FRIDAY.Everything went off well.In fact she took me for some shopping in Bangalore that afternoon.
We returned back the next day.The girl spoke to my son for couple of days.
Then after 10 days we get a long mail from her to my son jotting all the good qualities of his( ,not single ill word about my son) and that their interests do not match and that he and she cannot make perfect couple.
We were all shell shocked.She also wrote a mail saying that we have always treated her like a daughter and that we should pardon her for her doing.
Her father wrote very painful letter blessing my son through and through and that they were not fortunate enough to have him in their household.He wanted to know about the gifts but we said let her use it.
It was trauma for us My son had to undergo this for no fault of his.
My aged mother in law,mother ,relatives were all terribly upset.
It took us some time to get into reality.
Why in the first place did she have to say YES and take us this far?
We asked the parents repeatedly not to force her.
Had she told this before it would not have caused this pain and agony?
But life goes on.It is now more than 2 months and the search has started again.We have almost got over it.We have completed faith in God and I am sure he will find someone suitable for my son.

nikitamjain · Aug 5, 2014

In a way its good that u got rid of an unsuitable alliance on time. After marriage if she had realized this, it would be a bigger and worse shock for you all. There are all kinds of people on earth. Forget them and move on. God bless your son and family to get over the trauma.

muthuswathi · Aug 5, 2014

Do not lose heart,
May be God is willing to grant a better match for your son.
All the best.

GoogleGlass · Aug 5, 2014

Some people don't realise it is a serious issue - when would these people change???

Playing with emotions - don't they realise it is not good?

Forget & move on - there is a better match waiting for your son.

radhaparth2000 · Aug 5, 2014

I can understand the pain and agony that your family and yourself went through. But if we see the brighter side of it, things got cleared before wedding. In case this would have happened after wedding, then you would be facing lot more jolts. Please be confident that god has saved you in the right time and your family will be blessed with a nice and better DIL.

hrastro · Aug 5, 2014

Please forget about the girl and never mention her name again. Thankfully they realised before the wedding. I have a feeling that some genuine reason was there but better not probe into that.

What they did was very cruel !! But please find peace !!!

MaliniHari · Aug 5, 2014

Hugs!

IMO, she is not the one for your son. However, I still do not understand why did they proceed and later drop it. We do not know what they are going through and what made them stop it. On the other hand, it is BEST for you because your son was not trapped. I have no comments on the family but what they did was not so great. However, I see that they regret this but that does not make them good. They should have been careful because this was not just a formality. Bundle of love and emotions involve a marriage.

Think this way, what if

- the girl was not interested after the wedding?
- the parents had forced her to marry your son?

I am sure now he has little peace. Give it sometime and take it from there. You are out of a trauma now. I am sure God would gift your son with a good partner.

Kamla · Aug 5, 2014

Dear Kanaka Raghavan,

So sorry about the pain you, your son and the whole family had to go through due to this unsavory incident.

So much of expense, mental agony and drama could have been spared if the girl and her family could have made their decisions the right way a little earlier. But it is what it is.

Like everyone here have expressed, I too feel that it is very good that it came to an end before it was too late. No one will ever know the reason for their change of heart and true, better not probe. Your son's bride awaits him somewhere and wish him the best and hope he will soon find her!

Share the good news with us!

L, Kamla

FromMars · Aug 5, 2014

I understand where you are coming from.

The only thing I would say, is its for the good.

It takes lot of guts to say NO. That the girl said NO after a few meetings and close to everything being finalized, would have required courage.

This clearly means that the decision has been well thought and to have not said NO would have ended up in both her and your son's future being unhappy.

In the end, I think, both your family and your son gained more rather than losing.

Your son will forget this in no time and neither should he feel bad for this.

Best wishes for a good alliance.

satchitananda · Aug 5, 2014

Dear Kanaka,

Can imagine the pain your son and all of you must have felt. But as everyone says "better now than later". Life will go on. Whatever her reasons, am glad she said it now rather than getting married and then making everyone's life miserable.

Wish your son all the best and for sure there must be someone waiting for him.