Hey Croc

Hey Croc

Crocodiles are getting interesting, read this one
Crocodile might be responsible for plane crash in the Congo: UK investigators - NY Daily News

A plane crashed in Congo, Africa, killing 18 of the 19 passengers in it. It seemed there was a crocodile in a cage in the cargo section, and maybe the lock was loose , the croc sauntered out and reached the inside of the plane, and took a stroll.

The passengers panicked, and rushed towards the front of the plane, causing the plane to tilt forward and crash. Well the croc survived, along with one other person, but the rescuers hacked the offending croc to death . Well well, we must pay for our sins eh, so must crocs.

But what kind of planes are these, where if u go forward the plane tilts? Tehn in that case, passengers must be weighed, and people of equal weights maybe put on the opposite side of theplane to balance it eh ! And what if there is a fat person on theleft, and I am very thin,to the right of the pnae, then they might put the airhostess in my lap and tie us both up, to balance the scales eh Bliss that would be eh !



Another croc tale,

The Mayor of a Mexican fishing town has married a crocodile. Here it is
Standard Digital News : : Lifestyle - Crocodile Wedding: Mexican Mayor Marries Reptile

Well they dressed the crocodile, male or female I cant say, as a bride in while, and the mayor married her in style with dancing and fireworks, I don’t know if the croc could dance, and it is thought that dancing with the princess, which is what they think of the croc, will bring loads of sea food, meaning there will be plenty of fishes to fish, so goes the legend.

In this age and era , believing all this eh !

But then why blame anyone look at our Big B, when he got married Ashwariya to his son Abhi, well first they had Ash marry a tree, bcs she is manglik, so the first person or tree or whatever she marries will die, and then she divorced the tree and married Abhi, I don’t know if the tree died or not, but abhi is still alive and kicking, thank God for that.

Here too, I saw in the papers, somewhere south, a few priests sat in big pots full of water, praying for rains to come. How come no one prays for fishes like the Mexicans eh ! Let me tell u, our sindhi God, called Jhulelal, he is seen sitting in the middle of the sea, on a big Hilsa, so we Sindhis eat hilsas , along with the Bengalis.

The joke goes that a Sindhi prays to Jhulelal, for a Mercedes, and one day Mr. J comes and gives him a big slap, and says, listen mister Kamal, if I had a merc to spare, do u think I would be sitting on a Hilsa in the god forsaken middle of the Sea ? So next time think before u ask me anything.Hence I just ask him for Hilsa fish to be available and sure it is when mom goes to the market to fish the fish for me.
And to think my granny said, when we were kids, that we must eat fish, for they give lakhs of kids at one time, and if we don’t eat, they will multiply so fast that ships will not be able to sell. And I think my MIL did not say such things to my wife ? Well well !!!

But Jhulelal did do justice to me on the sly. Fishes aer not sold in Rajasthan from May/june/july and August, they are allowed to breed in these 4 months, and these months do not have the alphabet R in them.

But Jhulelal made me born on the 1st of September, the day the fishes are allowed to be sold, for the next 8 months, which have the letter R in them, what a birthday gift I get eh ! As I go on my birthday to the fish market, being starved so many months, all the fishes, cry out to me, that kamal buy me please, we want salvation thru yr tummy.

And I am waiting more for the fishes than My birthday and I am counting each day.

HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI






At a wedding reception the D.J. Announced.....

"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living after marriage?"

The Bartender was almost crushed to death.






Hotel me khane ke baad sardar hath ke bajay basin dhone laga
Waiter : ye kya kar rahe ho ?
Sardar : kamine, muje bhi english ati hai ye kya likha hai dekh :
WASH BASIN



Teacher- Ramu you are sleeping in class.
Ramu- No mam
Teacher- Don't.lie.I saw you.
Ramu-.Mam,i was thinking Rahul Gandhi style.





44 साल जागकर भी मैंने क्या उखाड़
लिया जो 10 मिनट की नींद में
इतना हंगामा हो गया

-राहुल गाँधी




Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?

Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?

Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?

In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbour. But he gave me 2 options..... Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.

Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!





Absolute Classic!!!

An inspirational speaker said:
“The Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.”

Audience was in shock and silence.

He added: “She was my mother”

A big round of applause & laughter followed!
.
.

A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.

After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:

“The Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”

Standing for a moment, he tried to recall the second line of that inspirational speaker.

By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral:
DON'T COPY..
IF U CAN'T PASTE IN TIME...





Modi lands in Germany. ..
And..
Germany won the Word Cup..

Unke bhi achche din aa gaye..

 

Dear Sabita,

on the subject of crocs, u like the shoes eh ! WEll so does my veggie wife, and i tell her, that shje gets her shoes bcs we eat the meat and leave the skin for her to wear. So she is as paapi as me.HAHA. The point is still to get to her, and maybe it may not get to u too. That is a topic for another day.

So they dare not take the heavy wieth passengers or air hostesses eh ! just imagine i gopinmg to the front to the loo, and theplane starts to nosedive and half way thru i have to return to my seat, and finish the job there, for lives are at stake u see.

HAHAHAAHAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Vishwa,

just type Jhulelal in google and u wull get the pictures i cant seem to post one here in the comments.
i was not aware of the load factors in these planes, so u ahve to balance the weights of the passengers eh ! Wow. Well i havent seen snakes, but yes these slithery creatures give met he creeps. i am even scared of earthworms.

That is an old joke, but still pertty good, and brings the laughs. it is like asking Shirdi Sai baba for money, when he himself was a fakir, meaing a poor saint. The irony is not lost on anyone, but who listens these days.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Balaji,

Film star faces lawsuit after 'marrying' a tree - Telegraph

i though u were upto date on scandals eh ! HAHA. Croc on the ladies eh ! Well there should be one croc on the leash on every flight, so that if any passenger raises his voice after a few drinks, take the croc to him to carress him, and he will start behaving.HAHA

Regards


kamal