The working woman

SGBV · Jul 2, 2014

The thread http://www.indusladies.com/forums/w...be-working-women-homemaker-5.html#post3315702 inspired me to write this snippet.

I repeatedly read the inspiring lines about home-makers. The word home-maker itself a proof that you build, manage, and make a happy family in your home. So, it is rather a reward to be a home maker, and to be there for your family.

So, what about working women. They work so hard out side of their home. Their work, travel time, and other disturbances are no different from their male counterparts. They bring quite a lot of money to their family. They sacrifice a lot of their personal "me-times" as they spend a lot of time out side of their home. And there are so much to talk about the working women.

Does that mean, these working women don't make a home? So that they can't be called as home makers?

How true is that a working woman works only out side of her home. Perhaps in a luxury office atmosphere, receives a lump sum as salary, has the freedom to make friends, enjoy everything under the sky without anyone's permission and what not?

How about those working women, who cook for the entire family in the early mornings, feed the kids before getting ready for work, drive the kids to school on their way to work, and do their professional job at the office. Then after coming home, cook for the family, do the home works with their kids, and make sure everyone at home is happy.
In addition to that, they find it extremely hard even to stretch a bit during their weekends, as they may seem fully packed with lots and lots of pending works, such as pending laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning in and around the house, outings etc..etc...

Even though they are married to the gems of the husbands, some works can only be done by the women perfectly. When it comes to kids matter or cooking, regardless of the woman's professional status or her husband's understanding, at the end of the day she will be forced to balance her life in whatever the way she could.

Not every working woman has the luxury to keep a maid at home. Even if there is a maid, I am sure a maid can not replace the mother in her.

Getting help from parents or in laws doesn't require your professional qualification. I mean a SAHM too can get help if her parents or in laws are reasonable enough.

I did not undermine the woman who stay at home and make a home. But I think we are definitely undermining the hard working women, both at home front and professional front here.

In particular I dedicate this thread to those who work, while carrying their full-term pregnancies, those return to work after their maternity break with the heavy heart, and heavy breast full of milk.
The women those undergo fertility treatments, and advised to take rest, yet work full time due to family's financial conditions.
The women who stay awake the whole night during their kids' illness, yet start the next day as usual to work as they don't have enough leave options.

Just because she has a sound a career doesn't mean a woman/a mother can simply run away from her responsibilities towards her family. Which means, she has to make sure that she is also making a home in addition to her working career. Isn't it worth double respect?

If a home maker is making a home, then what is a working woman doing at her home?

No offence intended.. plz

ammulur · Jul 2, 2014

Especially these days all girls specially moms are multi-talented considered to olden days....! were most of the women weren't working. Nowadays most of them looking for a working DIL's..... they look after household choas, children, office work if interested in business they do so..... what not......! We are proud to be ALL ROUNDERS..........! :2thumbsup:

SGBV · Jul 2, 2014

ammulur said: ↑

We are proud to be ALL ROUNDERS..........! :2thumbsup:
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I would say we are forced to be all rounders. We have no choice. Either quite professional work and be a home-maker or continue to work and be a home maker. The home maker tag will continue to be the same even after the next generation. Because a mother is a mother, no one can replace her role at home.

So, by being a working women, we only add more tasks to our list... But we don't care as long as we can handle them all. Because, we are all rounders.. you see

ammulur · Jul 2, 2014

SGBV said: ↑

I would say we are forced to be all rounders. We have no choice. Because a mother is a mother, no one can replace her role at home.

I do agree with these above points..........!

we only add more tasks to our list:

Apart from this we make our sweet home financial more stable...........!
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iyerviji · Jul 2, 2014

SGBV dear a thought provoking post. In my opinion both are equally great. Its the circumstances that made a woman in the earlier days to work but at present since the woman are well qualified they prefer to be a working woman . People who are homemakers dont understand how much working woman have to undergo, they have to please the people at home and also the people in the office. When they hold high positions in the office it is more difficult for them and if they dont do their work properly in the office then they will tell them you better resign the job if you are not able to manage the office.

I was also a working woman and worked for 38 years , so I know what all problems working woman have. It was a must for me to work before marriage and after marriage due to financial conditions . Before marriage it was not much of a problem because my mother and grandmother were there and I did not have much responsbility at home. But after marriage I was responsible both in the office and at home. I was married to a large family and every year there used to be marriages or some function and I had to take leave. Then when the children fall sick or any other help for them we had to be there. Same time there will be some important work in the office and our seniors never used to grant leave. Especially it is difficult when we work in Accounts Department.. I was also workingn Accounts Department, joined as a Typist, then became Steno and then as Senior Assistant. During March, April used to be crucial time in the office and at home because of Year ending in the office and at home final exam for children..

To achieve my goal in both the places I used to keep both happy. During exam days I used to go late to office when my children were in primary section. Everyyear I used to take two times privilege leave besides leave during my delivery as I had to take 3 times for my 3 children.

Our neighbours who were homemakers used to think we working women enjoy life more than them but they never used to understand that we had to keep both happy. But still I enjoyed my working life and achieved my goal and now enjoying retired life

Both working woman and home makers are great , both have responsbilities , home makers have more time to spend at home and look after their family well and expectations from home makers are more because they are at home. They are busy the whole day taking care of the needs of everyone.

Sorry if I have written anything wrong.

SGBV · Jul 2, 2014

Viji aunty

You are always inspiring us with your sweet experience. I am really happy to read that you were able to manage a happy home and efficient office. I could see how much multi-tasking was expected from you at that time. But I am glad to know that you managed to raise your kids above expectations, and still achieved your career goals as well.

If home makers like my mom are to be worshiped for their wonderful parenting tasks, a person-working woman like you to be really treasured for your multi-tasking.

I always had this doubt at the back of my mind whether I could raise my kids the way how my mom did her job for us. My mom was a full time home maker. She spent almost all her time at home to raise us as good individuals. She teaches us the good way of living, spent a lot of time with us to boost our self esteem, and always encouraged and supported us to reach our educational and career goals. Whereas, I am struggling to spend some quality time with my kids, because of my work.

I am not sure whether I can be with my kids whenever they need me.. I know some of my highly talented/qualified superiors at the work front, miserably failed when it comes to family life. Either they failed in their marriages, or with regards to their children's education.

Even though, I know their destiny is to be blamed for their miserable failure at the home front, but I could not stop my thinking towards a revised outcome of their life if they were SAHM?

I know it is and will be too hard for a working woman to balance her family and work and still continue to be successful in both fronts. Your post was one inspiring narration, and it is worth reading.

iyerviji · Jul 2, 2014

Thank you very much for your encouraging words SGBV dear. First I thought whether to write my experience or not as people might think I am boasting myself. I used to feel very sad to leave my children when they were kids and go to work but our financial condition was such that I was forced to go to work. Also as I was a working woman before marriage it would have difficult for me to spend at home feeling I am not doing anything worthy. Since my children had only one year nine months difference between them I used to feel sad leaving them that too in the hands of maids . Those days we never had a phone and sometimes I used to phone my neighbour and ask them. But Ihad full support from my husband thats why I could keep my office and home happy. He used to go early because he was working in a factory and come back by 4.30 and I used to leave late and come back by 7 pm and since he used to comeearly he used to look after evening cooking though there wont bemuch to do as in the morningonly we used to cook and go. My neighbours used to be jealous because hewas very supporting.

I can go on and on and let me stop here

amihere · Jul 2, 2014

SGBV said: ↑

If a home maker is making a home, then what is a working woman doing at her home?

No offence intended.. plz
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Same question comes to my mind when people speak a lot of praises on SAHM for being a home maker.....I am also doing the same. Yes I have a maid who help me with sweeping,mopping and washing utensils.Still I have to build my home with love and care along with my DH and DD.

amihere · Jul 2, 2014

iyerviji said: ↑

First I thought whether to write my experience or not as people might think I am boasting myself.
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Dear Vijima,
Please donot think so. Reading your experiences(as well as every other senior members) are like knowledge bank for us.Also it ensures us "Yes,I can do it".