parents - a boon or bane

Last evening i was talking to one of my neighbours who is on the administrative side of a very well know IB School here.

While sharaing on what was the latest happenings/activities going on in our life currently...i happened to mention my spiritual, social activities and some counselling work that i do.

She mentioned that the students coming to the IB school are mostly from the elite and affluent class but the sad part is that most of the students are not happy on the personal front. They either come from broken homes, or parents always at logger heads with each other, both the parents working and no time for kids, they have not seen their parents for days together, domestic abuse, child abuse...and the end result many of them have taken to drugs, they back answer and what not. Now they are planning to get on board psycho counsellers to talk to these kids.

For these kids are their parents a boon or a bane....if their parents were not ready to take the responsibilities of the kids then why were they brought in this world?? Just to show the world that they are not impotent and are capable to bear kids or have they come into this world by mistake or that "bacche to hone chahiye"....we had no answer to this.

Dear Roopa
Good topic...........i agree to you there are some parents who do not have time for they kids always under nanny's care. I really feel sorry for such kids. Parents are always a parent I cannot tell u if it is a boon or a bane. As there are parents who work the whole day and at the end of the day they can spend very little time with the kids. But the time spent is always quality time, just speaking to the kid.
These issues will come up slowly the kids are not well guided will do all sorts of things. Now it is only in the metros slowly all the western culture is going to come up.
According to me if both parents are dedicated fully to the work I will say these couple should not have kids. Such parents are spoiling the life of a human being.

Dear Roopa,
Good topic..I do agree that Children deprived of Parent's love,care and ofcourse moral values are gonna prove that they are bad citizens and bad human beings as well...(most cases).Off late we hear news from all parts of the country that the "so called Elite" class people's son or daughter drink&drive and kill innocent people...In these cases who are at fault? The kids(teenagers) or the Parents...I will surely blame the reckless parents for they have failed to educate and impose moral values and atleast minimum discipline , respect etc...Not to forget that they again pamper by paying bribe to the cops and bring the children back home for them to just redo the crime time and again....

Hi Roopa,
Very good topic...
I have seen many parents who are dedicated their lives towards and kids and vice versa. Some people, they just care about themselves and not about kids/families.
I really feel bad about those kids who are really deprived of parents love.
As Aruna said, because of work pressure, now a days it is very hard for any parents to spend much time with kids (like eating at same time, helping them with their home works, their activities etc). But some how, parents has to make time to spend time with the families/kids.

Regards.

Parents are the people who instill values and ethics in children.The responsibility of parents does not end with delivering kids to the world but begins from it.One should not give birth to children if they have other priorities in life. People should manage their activities, but not at the cost of creating bad habits or in driving kids take wrong things in life. Without any mistake of theirs it is the children of such elite class, broken homes who are blamed for their sinful activities. Punishments should be given to such parents for children's bad behavior and children should be counselled to take up the right paths.

Dear Roopa,

Great blog, and so true.

These are my personal opinions and i could be wrong.

Today even kids are our talking points to friends and neighbours.Example

My child is a genius .i send him to this school, he or she plays basketball, does dancing singing classes, and he or she went to Goa with her school etc etc.

All a case of showmanship, and kids are the pawns.And u rightly say, many parents dont hae the time to look after theirkids.Then why bring them in this world.It is not necessary.

As u said, maybe topriove they are not impotent.HAHA.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Last evening i was talking to one of my neighbours who is on the administrative side of a very well know IB School here.

While sharaing on what was the latest happenings/activities going on in our life currently...i happened to mention my spiritual, social activities and some counselling work that i do.

She mentioned that the students coming to the IB school are mostly from the elite and affluent class but the sad part is that most of the students are not happy on the personal front. They either come from broken homes, or parents always at logger heads with each other, both the parents working and no time for kids, they have not seen their parents for days together, domestic abuse, child abuse...and the end result many of them have taken to drugs, they back answer and what not. Now they are planning to get on board psycho counsellers to talk to these kids.

For these kids are their parents a boon or a bane....if their parents were not ready to take the responsibilities of the kids then why were they brought in this world?? Just to show the world that they are not impotent and are capable to bear kids or have they come into this world by mistake or that "bacche to hone chahiye"....we had no answer to this.

Dear Roopa
You have so well outlined todays reality. Most parents are caught up making money they fail to see their children. To make up for their absence they buy expensive gifts. Such parents are not a boon. A parent can become a boon when they have the best interest of the child as a priority and provide a happy and safe home for their kids.

Dear Roopa,

Its a real shame to give the name of Parents to those who do not have the inclination to take care of the very lives that they brought into this world. I understand if youre a single parent and /or there is some other genuine problem , but cases where the kids of 5---6 years are put in boarding school for lack of time in the hands of parents is really very appalling to say the least.
I have many friends who meet their kids only during vacations and proudly display the end product to their friends as if they have spent their sweat in raising them .Its shameful.Even the parents whose career takes first place in their lives are very irresponsible.Sometimes kids are merely a status symbol,or its a case like all have so I have too!
Ok let me tell you a real life story where the couple were not having kids , now after about a decade they decide to adopt for societal reasons . Now this kid is raised by the nanny whereas the parents have no time for her and cannot adjust their career and parental responsibility. I often wonder why then did they adopt the child just to show the world that you have one? And then dump them into the hands of the nanny ?
I wonder are these people having kids just to prove their fertility? Most of the time when we conduct sessions on counselling children with the track record of poor performance ,we have seen the lack of presence of parents as the primary reason, seconded by the domestic quarrels and broken homes.
I absolutely detest it when parents tell that they send their kids to boarding schools so that they are disciplined. I fail to understand are you so incapable as a parent to instil values in your children that you look out for some military rule for them. And then in the end they want to be applauded for their non efforts!!
Fine I guess its very important for everyone to priortise their life .If you think you need to make your career and its important considering the efforts youve put in then stay out of starting a family because then you'll need to make a choice.
Sometimes its difficult to chuck up a carefully planned career out of the window , but then you also need to understand that you'll either need to plan things wherein you can adjust home and career ,or you'll need to take a break and restart or you'll have to put parenthood on hold till after some time when you can do full justice to the role!
Parenthood is a wonderful experience and one can only do justice to it if wants to be a parent from the heart . This is one role that gives one the place of God and for that one should be as giving as God himself.

Love,
Devika

hi,

well said devikainfact i believe, whatever personality, individual develops later is impact of his childhood. specially mother, as title says we will be seeing both kind parents in society.

shwetha

Yes AC,

Today couples are just running behind money and social status. They feel that money can buy happiness for the kids too but they forget that without the personal touch what i kid goes thru is very difficult to explain.

Roopa.