Perspective - Use it or Lose it!

Srama · Jan 31, 2014

[justify]I text my friend and neighbor asking if I could borrow something later in the day. She texts right back with a yes adding that she will leave it outside the door as she would be in a conference call from work. I stop by later and see a note stuck to her door "On phone, please don't ring the bell" I frown with a "I know", feeling some what offended.

Then I am reminded of a phrase from a book that has stuck with me for a few years now on how people can let themselves down by - 'waiting for an opportunity to feel offended'. Personally, remembering that has helped me a lot. I realize this as one of those opportunities, shrug my shoulders assuming that it might be not intended for me at all, even if it is, why take offense? I smile, come back home and text her back with a "thx, picked it up" to which she responds with a "Glad could help you".

As I join my yoga group for lunch, my DD wants to use the rest room first thing. I take her and just I get the kids settled in, she has to use the rest room again. Noting that I haven't even said my proper hellos to the group, I venture a "Sorry, looks like she is gassed up. They haven't had breakfast even" to which a lady comes up with a "Yes, let's starve them so that they can fill up on the buffet" I recognize the opportunity to get offended. I just smile, mention that I had pretty much dragged them out of bed for the brunch, and enquire about how her yoga practise is coming along and continue talking with the group.

As I step into the bright sunlit sky feeling the crisp air, I smile. We have not had this warm a temperature in a long time, well it feels like in ages anyways. Who knew a mere 30F could feels so awesome after those numbing cold cold temperatures. As I enter the grocery store, I am brought to tears almost when i see tulips for sale. Surely tulips are an indication of the coming spring. It is like they are asking me to cheer up, feel the spring in the air even though it is a couple of months away!

I come out with my shopping bags and am greeted by a van which read "........... Retirement Community" from which a slow but steady stream of elderly, some with walking sticks and wheel chair assistance are making their way into the grocery store. This is not the first time i am seeing this and this scene always brings tears to my eyes but more so today. I see and understand all the reasons for the tears and the sudden flurry of activity. Who will miss an opportunity to be out and about at the slightest chance of better weather?

Then I am reminded of a friend who lives in a warmer place and who at the slightest chance of bad weather complains about how awful the weather is for them and there have been times when i was irritated with that. But now all that comes to my mind thinking of my friend as i watch these smiling excited elderly making their way is, Richard Bach and his quote "Perspective - use it or lose it".
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jasmine25 · Jan 31, 2014

Hi Srama,
As I read I was taken by the flow and travelled along with you...you have wrightly coined..recognised the oppurtunity to get offended..I can relate myself to such incidents...Old aged are always brisk..need to learn a lot from them..I have never seen them lazy..I liked your title which is very apt to the content - "Perspective - use it or lose it"

GoogleGlass · Jan 31, 2014

Nice one SR - respective one on perspective.

Srama · Feb 1, 2014

Thank you Jasmine for your warm words and your feedback. We all do that - feel offended for right and wrong reasons. It is something I am learning to understand as I observe myself.

Srama · Feb 1, 2014

Thankyou GG for your words.

kkrish · Feb 1, 2014

Sabs
In your own style you brought out tears in me when I read about the retirement home elders.

Yes, it is all in our perspective. How we look at things. I have been amazed how the paradigm changes so very drastically just with a small shift in our thought process.
I can bring so many instances.

Take a simple chore of washing dishes. I hated it; dreaded it. Procrastinated till I had no clean spoon left (yes, there were days like that too), wallowed in self-pity.
Till one day when i heard my co-worker chiding her grand daughter on the phone, "young lady, be thankful you get to do the dishes. It means the Lord gave you something to eat!!!"
Now my perspective on doing dishes has changed.

You know, I had some accumulated extra hours to use up before today - and when I read the title I was thinking that I better use it or lose it. I did lose 3 hours :-(

Srama · Feb 1, 2014

Dear Kamala,

Thank you for that response and I completely understand how you feel. I have been going to the same shop for years and have been witnessing this for years too and have always loved and enjoyed them walking around the shop and loved it the most when they would stop to speak with my kids when they were toddlers and babies

As for losing Kamala, you know you only lost three hours, not the perspective. I know that too well about you. Have a lovely weekend.

Pallavi4me · Feb 1, 2014

srama, what a post to read in the morning. I always knew, if it is your post there would be some learning, encouragement & positive spirit. And it is proved once again and I'm reading with awe when you are responding positively to the comment of filling up in a buffet.., :hatsoff :hatsoff :hatsoff. Seriously, perspective matters. I do tell that to some of my friends but never followed like you. This post of yours will be in my mind for long. Thanks for a such good write up.

Shanvy · Feb 1, 2014

Saby,
why am I not surprised reading this post of yours..well that says a lot about my perception of you right?.

I most often try to understand and accept the others' perspective, but then again there is a lot more at play when it could just be their perception of us rather than perspective.

I like your view of glass is half full and mine is the same. :cheers

Every morning when i drop my son at school, i sit back and watch world in a hurry. see a lot of people standing impatiently for the buses. some who are well groomed, while others who just walk out bed like...and all the morning hungama, of hustle and bustle, traffic and kids so crisp in their uniforms, the slight nip in the air, of kids peeping out of their bus, the flowers, the vegetables, the slow awakening of the market place makes me relate to what many indian writers like ruskin bond, rknarayan wanted to convey..

when i pick him, i see this boy who should be your son's age, who can't actually see what is cooking in that big vessel of oil unless he stands on that small stool that is near to his fast food cart. every evening i see if sliding in skillfully made samosas and my heart slides along and sending a silent caution, be careful beta...i remind my son of his blessings.

Unless our perceptions is sync with our perspective, there is always going to be a battle at hand,which then leads to anger,hate and all those other feelings that wait for a little chance to sprout...

shyamala1234 · Feb 1, 2014

Dear Sabitha,

A very tough and vague topic.

Yes, by a little tilt in thinking whole perspective changes. I guess our whole life and happiness depends on this point...how we view things. Same scenario may look different at different times also.
Thank you.

Syamala