Searching for a shore called “My identity”?

When we were born we were referred as this person’s child or the most this person’s grand child. When we are growing up with ou siblings, we will be referred as this person’s brother or this person’s sister. Then comes the wonderful days of college, where we are referred either by nick names or just mamu, machchaan, maaplai.

Worst still some of the lecturers identify their students as affiliated to some groups…. Oh… that fellow in that ragging group… this fellow in the bunkers group etc.,

When you start working for a corporate, you would be referred as that person working for XYZ company…. Better still.. he is an IBMer, HPian or Wipro-ite

When you travel within the country – down south you would be called by your place name such as Bangalorean, Chennai-ite. When anybody coming from the states other than the 4 south Indian states, are referred to North Indians and any south indian travelling to North India referred as Madarasi’s. Ever thought about it? :bullshit

You get married and your identity immediately changes…. This person’s wife / husband…. This person’s son in law / daughter in law etc., etc., For some women, the name itself changes.

You have children? Then especially in the neighbourhood you are referred as this child’s parent. I vividly remember when I went to my acquaintance’s home and could not locate his residence, as none knew this person’s name. So I called him on his phone, he immediately told me…. Just ask the watch man which is Shabari’s house he will guide you. Bingo he was on the dart…. A person who was wandering for more an half hour searching, got the residence located. Shabari, was then 3 years, my acquaintance’s son.

The best thing is I thought I will have my own identity in this IL. Well, I am erally mistaken….. The referred identity just chases me…. Lo…. Aquamarine’s DH, Sunkan’s SIL etc.,

When will I get my own identity???????

Can anyone answer? If you are also undergoing the same story, well we are in the same boat on rough waters, searching for the shore called, MY IDENTITY

Well Giri,

I can identify with you about identity. my neighbours call me charumma (charu's mother) well i had a name even before she was born..so i tell them you please call me by my name..have not yet succeeded that is another story...

Sometimes, I am the sil, the dil, the daughter, the wife, the mother....I now slowly have got an identity for myself..but it does take time.

. well, just accept the introductions.


And have i answered you question about your identity....

(BTW you missed out the brother of and brother in law of ...just kidding....)

Hi Priya'a Husband (just kidding:)
Right off the bat your doing toooo good.. Excellent writeup..
even today with relatives no one knows me by name I always have to identify myself by hubby dear.. and school no problem son is famous so I am mother of

Guess what I am proud to have been identified by either husband or son as I greatly admire them.. because I am standing in the shade of a Great tree I am blessed..
Here In IL when I first registered without any thought i chose my username.. never did I think I would write as much or people would appreciate as mush..credit goes to my hubbys name upfront coz he's lucky and a funny and charming..

You are doing excellent friend Giri keep it up:)

Myfairlady is your name is it ;) Oh well.. let me use that to make you smile then..Giri, that was a nice read!! well done :)

I am here to boost that couple of occasions I did have my identity and still try to maintain that whenever possible.. Mainly in my career, I try to have my zone and not fall under someone else's umbrella.. But I agree working in some gaints you get to be baptized with that name.. but I have an idea.. give your profession out rather than the name ;) so people would remember as oh Giri, yeah hes a software engg.. last time I heard he was with wipro.. etc ;)

Sounds nice huh ... just imagination.. but it might work ;)

Hello Giri,
See, I am calling you by your name only......I was amaged to see this write up because I always tell my parents that I don't like to go to any of their places as none of the elders would call us by name, they will refer us as x's dauther or Y's daughter.....but only ate my school or college, we used to have our own name and then parents are known by us......it was a gr8 feeling when I introduced my parents to my teachers as they are my mom and papa.......
But from you write up, I realised that even we don't have a proper identity in school/college.........no I don't belong to that group........
Anyways, jokes apart, in abroad, people are not known by their profession or degree they hold, we are just known by OUR NAME.......It's a gr8 thing here.
take care.......

Originally Posted by shanvy

Well Giri,

I can identify with you about identity. my neighbours call me charumma (charu's mother) well i had a name even before she was born..so i tell them you please call me by my name..have not yet succeeded that is another story...

Sometimes, I am the sil, the dil, the daughter, the wife, the mother....I now slowly have got an identity for myself..but it does take time.

. well, just accept the introductions.


And have i answered you question about your identity....

(BTW you missed out the brother of and brother in law of ...just kidding....)

Well what to say---- Probably you are in teh same boat, but with a difference... while others are searching for the shore, you had already sighted yours :) Cheers.

Originally Posted by Meeta

Hello Giri,
See, I am calling you by your name only......I was amaged to see this write up because I always tell my parents that I don't like to go to any of their places as none of the elders would call us by name, they will refer us as x's dauther or Y's daughter.....but only ate my school or college, we used to have our own name and then parents are known by us......it was a gr8 feeling when I introduced my parents to my teachers as they are my mom and papa.......
But from you write up, I realised that even we don't have a proper identity in school/college.........no I don't belong to that group........
Anyways, jokes apart, in abroad, people are not known by their profession or degree they hold, we are just known by OUR NAME.......It's a gr8 thing here.
take care.......

Hi, Thanks for your feedback. I had been abroad as well and I have seen that we were identified as INDIANS. There surely is discrimination anywhere you go. You do hear about in the news some of them " Obama's call for outsourcing esp to India", " Discrimination of Tamils in Malaysia" , "Discrimination of Indians in Australia", "Discrimination of South Asians in the Middle East" So I disagree with you. There is a distinct identity crisis there as well. :)

MFL

Originally Posted by Nandshyam

Myfairlady is your name is it ;) Oh well.. let me use that to make you smile then..Giri, that was a nice read!! well done :)

I am here to boost that couple of occasions I did have my identity and still try to maintain that whenever possible.. Mainly in my career, I try to have my zone and not fall under someone else's umbrella.. But I agree working in some gaints you get to be baptized with that name.. but I have an idea.. give your profession out rather than the name ;) so people would remember as oh Giri, yeah hes a software engg.. last time I heard he was with wipro.. etc ;)

Sounds nice huh ... just imagination.. but it might work ;)

Thanks for your time and comments. MFL is my pseudo name and yes it is an identity which I created for myself. Not assumed / forced in by some one. When I said in my reply to Meeta that we were discriminated in other places as Indians, we were forcefully discriminated.

Yes... Having called by your profession is something we can try to do. But in this era of gloablisation, well we may have tough time to maintain that identity.

Thanks again
MFL

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Hi Priya'a Husband (just kidding:)
Right off the bat your doing toooo good.. Excellent writeup..
even today with relatives no one knows me by name I always have to identify myself by hubby dear.. and school no problem son is famous so I am mother of

Guess what I am proud to have been identified by either husband or son as I greatly admire them.. because I am standing in the shade of a Great tree I am blessed..
Here In IL when I first registered without any thought i chose my username.. never did I think I would write as much or people would appreciate as mush..credit goes to my hubbys name upfront coz he's lucky and a funny and charming..

You are doing excellent friend Giri keep it up:)

Well that's your choice to be happy and blessed to be identified as innaarudaiya ...... Probably you are in the boat and doesn't want to leave the boat. And yes... thanks for your comments. :)

Dear Sunkan 's SIL, Priya's DH & not to forget Saikripa's brother,

Sorry Giri just want to tease you a bit....becose I also sail in the same boat.......u know.

I wanted to have my own name but soon after marriage for opening a bank account my Dh's name was tagged maybe new at that time I could not refuse. Now It does not go also how much ever I try.

When I first logged into IL it used to say user name exists, with all permutations & combinations also I just could not get accepted as Lalitha. Finally I gave with DH's name and lo....... it was immediately accepted. See the bias .......

In my neighbourhood I am always called as Janani's mother.........in new office my mail id is also s lalitha and I have told them please put only lalitha.........nope. Can't help with this identity crisis..............

Any way thanx for the nice post and reminding us abt our identity.