My Half Finished Blogs

I am in Mumbai,and i write from my hot seat in Jaipur.Here i seem to leave many blogs unfinished, as something or the other crops up, the dental treatment, or I have to go meet my old friends, some cousins popping in, and i lose track of what to write.

So i amposting some half finished blogs of mine saved on the PC,save your slippers for the last,and if u throw, please throw both, so i can at least sell both of them to the kabadi wala.So here goes.



Yesterday at Gateway of India, my brother told me to drink Sugarcane Juice.There is this particular Roadstall from which my brother drinks, and from no one else.


This fellow has a sign which says “ We crush the Sugarcane once only”.Normally they do it many times.and he was right, the sugarcane was crushed just once, and the juice came automatically down.This guy had gloves on, and poured it glasses.He says even the ice is made from Bisleri.God knows, but the taste was the usual, no difference.


That reminds me of how they take out Sugarcane juice in Jaipur.They put the sugarcane in the machine at least 6 times, taking out the last drop of juice.And I had read in the papers, that the ice used in the sugarcane juices is illegal and dirty one.


It seems ice slabs are used in Hospitals to keep unclaimed bodies , and whatever ice isleft over after the body is disposed of, is sold cheap on the sly by the staff to the sugarcane fellows.No wonder sugarcane juices tastes so good on the roads.what with being mixed with the juices of hundreds of flies crushed alongwith the sugarcane, and the morgue ice !


Ah and the Bhelpuri at Chowpatty Beach is damn good,maybe because of the dust of the traffic, , and the flies go a long way in making it tasty.Another factor being,the stall fellow keeps scratching himself here and there, and when goes to relieve himself, im sure he dosnt wash his hands everytime,so the lethal mixture of is hands, flies and the dust, make it so tasty and palatable.


But don’t despair.We are better off than Paris, where things are worse.Dont believe me, read on.A pub in Paris, a high end one,they served free peanuts with the drinks.A customer found the peanuts smelly, and told the waiter to take them away and give him new ones.the new one too was bad, so he called the manager.The manager ate a few and found the complaint to be true.


He sent the container to the lab for testing.And the results showed that the peanuts had traces of various urines on them.On enquiry it was found out , that the waiters when the use the loo, don’t wash their hands, and put their hands in the jar of peanuts to serve customers.


So the restaurant decided to have separate toilets for the hotel staff.Once the waiter went inside to pee, he would not be able to open the door, if the hands are dry.So he would have to wet his hands under the tap, and the door would only open with wet hands.Ingenious ! though I don’t know if the problem of peanuts is solved.Hence I get very scared in Paris, and take my own peanuts to the bar.


My brother he is very very finicky really.He wont drink a soft drink till he checks if the cap is not rusty,or the glass breaks when the waiter opens the bottle,everything has to be clean.I am just the opposite, anything and everything will do for me.I just go with the flow of things.

Lions of Delhi Zoo

Yesterday night sitting with Mom in Mumbai, she was asking me about tuffy, and how the guy is looking as big as a lion these days.I told her Tuffy the Doggie is better than a lion,and it reminded a story of a few years back of the Delhi Zoo, which came in the papers which amused me no end.


It seems Delhi Zoo then, was suffering from an excess of lions in the Zoo.This particular breed of lions were voracious eaters,and fast breeders, their population kept climbing alarmingly.A meeting was held between the Zoo officials,and they came to the conclusion that they have got to be rid off.


Now since Zoo’s have exchange programmes, whereby they can contact other Zoo’s abroad and exchange the lion for say a Kangroo from Australia.They wrote to the Aussie Zoo , offering one Lion in exchange for 6 Kangaroos, which are aplenty in Austalia.They refused.It came down to 1 lion to one Kangroo,but refused again.Delhi guys put in a last offer in desperation. 6 Lions for 1 kangaroo, still no takers.It seems this was a useless breed of Lions,who just eat and breed and sleep the whole day, expensive sloths, unwanted all over the world.Ultimately the exchange did not take place.


Desperate, the Zoo director called a meeting of citizens in an auditorium, and told them that u guys keep pets, why don’t u adopt a lion,and I will personally come and deliver the baby lion to your house.


He had brought a baby lion to the auditorium, and he looked so cute, just like a puppy.But the stupid citizens did not take up the offer.I wish I had gone to Delhi to take up the offer.Just imagine my reputation in my lane, Tuffy on one leash,and a lion on the other.Its another matter, that if I forgot to feed the lion for a day,Tuffy would have disappeared in his Tummy.Every scheme has a flip side, so I dropped the idea really.


You must have seen that movie of Rajkumar the actor, whereby he had lions sitting next to him.Whenever a blogger came to meet me,he would have such a nice opinion of me with a lion sitting right beside my chair.And the best part is, if someone came to ask me money for the goods given to me,one roar from this lion and the guy would pee in his pants.


Well next they tried to rope in the Corporate houses to sponser the cages, and put their hoardings free in exchange for taking care of the food requirements of the animals.All the cages got sponsers but the lions.They really must be the cursed breed to be royally ignored by one and all.


Well guys and gals, thats it.Before these blogs remain on the PC, and i go back to jaipur and forget about them, here they are, unfinished, and am toolazy to complete them.Dont sleep.Otherwise iwill gift u a baby lion.And dont forget to send in comments, Good Bad or Ugly.Bye.

KAMAL MAHTANI

Dear Kamalji
You want slippers????? if that is what you get from IL???? if that was the case I think our moderators would have packed you long back.
Wow sugarcane juice I just like it ...........and again surprising kamalji with sugarcar juice glass instead of one peg in his hand????
Cha.............never had the way you have mentioned next time will have to think twice before drinking...............
The paris news sound so yakee.............
Just imagining you, tuffy and lion together.............what a combination
That was a great imagination Kamalji .............take the goods and when asked for the money let the lion take part in it.
I am waiting for the baby lion to be gifted Kamalji.
A nice blog really good to read

Aruna,

The next time u come to jaipur, i will give u a compimentary Sugar can juice, bhelpuri,and gift u a small lion, will that be fine ?

Thanks for liking this peice, god knows what i wrote in it,just some mumbo jumbo.lets see how other I lites take it.

thanks and Regards.kamal

If not for the sugarcane juice or Bhelpuri but will surely visit for my gift..........

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Aruna,

The next time u come to jaipur, i will give u a compimentary Sugar can juice, bhelpuri,and gift u a small lion, will that be fine ?

Thanks for liking this peice, god knows what i wrote in it,just some mumbo jumbo.lets see how other I lites take it.

thanks and Regards.kamal

Aruna,

Welcome any time to jaipur.It will bne a pleasure/

Thanks for yr only comments.Guess everyone found this boring eh ! must write some weepy stories to get some comments.HAHA.Regards.kamal

Kamalji,

Even your half finished blogs are mindblowing. read it last night, but could not digest about the ice so went out to think .

Oh tuffy and the lion come on Kji, you love tuffy too much to risk it.

But zoo exchange programmes are more interesting than student exchange programmes.

Veda,kids and me love to drink sugarcane juice, but now will think twice....

Keep blogging...you are not going to bore me...

Dear Shanti,


you are asking for trouble if u ask me to keep blogging.I get wierd ideas, and i am wondering when and if Indus throws me out of here, for telling silly stories to the intelligent ladies over here and spoiling their IQ's.

But Vidya and kamla both seem to like my blogs, so i think it will be a while before i am thrown out, so let me make hay while the sun shines.HAHA

So the next time u have sugarcane juice, think of me, or the morgue.Regards.kaaml

Kamalji,

What I want to say first is, it doesn't look half finished to me. If you still want to make it better, the pleasure will be ours. Thank you for an eye opener.

When I was a very small girl, my Dad never used to buy anything from the roadside. He is so softspoken. Used to refuse his own way. But, my desire towards roadside snacks was going up and up. Once, I nagged him to by me a cone of peanuts. I said 'no' just before the cone was about to be filled because the seller was tooth-picking with his nails. Yyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuukkkkkk...... Would I dare to nag again? Stopped once for all. But, the worst part is we happily eat in good restaurants as we don't know what's happening inside. The Paris incident is the best example.

Lion exchage offer was so interesting. Your imagination with a Lion on your side and a man opposite was funny like a good comedy scene.

Ovivya,

Well can u imagine the plight of my poor wife, when i spin these yarns.I point out to her the interesting things in the papers , and shes surprised how she missed them.I miss the main news, but not these pieces, which provied me with great entertainment.And add a little of my own masala, and a blogis born.

Thanks for the kind words, which encourage me to be more brazen in future.im always scared Indus may throw me out one day, as i dont make ladies weep with sob stories but make them laugh.Thanks.kamal

Kamalji,

So actually you guys are leading a very versatile life looking at different things. Am I right?

I appreciate it when you make the ladies laugh, like positive things in life and not at all into that weeping. So, I like your writeups very very much. I see so many ladies in IL encourage positive threads and show a positive approach to those who are in distress. So, now, on behalf of all the ladies I give you a big Keep posting!