Jeans and Genes

Balajee · May 23, 2013

I have time and again said in my theadss that I hate cricket. So before you start wondering why I then bother about Sreesanth and his two pals here, let me rush to explain, this blog is not about match-fixing or spot fixing or any other kind of fixing. The ungentlemanly gentleman’s game only makes a guest appearance here.

I personally feel scratch any cricket god or angel you will find a devil. These guys think no end of themselves. Though they have their bank accounts made obscenely obese by huge match fees and endorsements (Only things Sachin Tendulkar has so far not endorsed are sanitary napkins and ovulation kits), there is no end to their greed in a nation where more fools are glued to the game than in the country of its birth itself.

But as I said, the blog is not about the game. What got my goat about the betting scandal is not the fact that the guys took money for spot-fixing but the way they spent it.

One of the three musketeers Chandiia or Chandala or something of that sort (see I am not even bothered to get his name correct, I hold him in utter contempt, for his unwise spending), splurged Rs 2.5 lakhs on , hold your breath, jeans! No , he didn’t buy dozens of jeans, but just two at that price!

Recently I read somewhere that some scientists have isolated a stupidity gene (quite a few of my kin, I am sure have it). This Chandi guy seems to have been made entirely of that gene. Two jeans for two and half lakhs, just because they come with a “designer” tag?

How do you differentiate between jeans and jeans.? They all look the same to me. So how do you convince someone that your jeans cost 1.25 lakh rupees and not Rs 1,250? May be you should behave like the aunties you see at music concerts in Delhi who don’t allow you to listen to the music peacefully as they loudly compare notes about the price of their sarees.to let everybody know the price of your jeans.

Talking of sarees, sorry to take me back to my previous blog on visit to the saree shop. In that multi-storey shop on a section r selling non-silk sarees , there are designer sarees costing a minimum of t Rs 70,000. They look just like the sarees I saw sweeper women in a department store in Vellore wearing. I suggest the income tax department probe all the women sweepers of that particular store for assets disproportionate to known sources of income. If they contact me I would be glad to provide details.

This jeans affairs reminds me of an incident when I was about to leave for Italy for a course in a university there years ago. I decided to give myself a treat and bought a pair of jeans for Rs 600. And this lead to an eruption of outrage among my relatives and friends. “ 600 bucks for a pair of jeans! You must be crazy” they raged. Then the average price of a decent pair of jeans was .far far below. I, the ultimate miser was accused of being extravagant.

Though then I felt a bit guilty, now I am proud of my purchase because the tough pair is still giving me loyal service after a couple of decades, looking as fresh as the day I bought them.

Nowadays I have got a bit extravagant. Recently I bought two pairs of black jeans on a discount of 50% at a Levi’s sale for a real princely sum of Rs 2000 each scandalizing my daughter.

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!”she screamed. “ Gimme that money and I will buy you seven to eight pairs with a Levi label. from Sarojini Nagar”.

She is good at that sort of thing,, bargaining hard at flea markets like Sarojini Nagar footpath vendors and getting them to put a label of her choice on them. So she marches around proudly in Armani and Dolce and Gabbana designer wear which the designers would not have come up even in the remotest corners of their imagination.

So ultimately everything boils down to the lebel on it. If you put Armani it is Armani and if you put Levi Strauss it is Levi. So our spot fixing friend who is now in a real spot must have had his stupidity genes on an overdrive. First he deals with bookies through mobiles which are not secure from eavesdroppers and then he wastes two and half lakh rupees of his ill-gotten money in buying just a couple of pairs of jeans. Even if he had handed just half that amount to me I would have got eight or nine pairs of jeans with designer labels for him and made a neat profit myself. That way both the parties would have benefited. Well looks like stupidity genes have worked really hard to ensure that the guy doesn’t develop a healthy respect for unhealthy money.

ShilpaMa · May 23, 2013

This Chandi guy seems to have been made entirely of that gene....

:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
Agreed their are few more CHANDI ppl arnd me......

There are designer sarees costing a minimum of t Rs 70,000. They look just like the sarees I saw sweeper women in a department store in Vellore wearing.

Now this was a super SIXER without any match fixing............
Some ppl look sweepers even in a 70K saree.... whilst some sweepers look flanking a designer....................
By any chance did u capture the 2 sarees in ur camera :bonk:bonk

Yes Stupidity is in genes and displayed in various forms... splurging, eating, speech , writing n many many more ways..........

Viswamitra · May 23, 2013

Dear Balajee,

It looks like the stupidity genes worked really hard to get involved in spot-fixing in the first place while they make ton of money from IPL and endorsements. In Kamalji's words, these three cricketers were provided with babes (escorts) to make them agree to spot-fixing deals, according to the reports. It is stunning to see the ease with which these spot-fixing was done.

Once I went to have my hair cut in Park Sheraton and the beauty salon was in the second floor of the hotel which I always visit when I go to India. Once by mistake, instead of going to the second floor, I entered the first floor. A security personnel came and stopped me and inquired who I was asking me to produce identity. Later, I came to know that CSK players were staying in that floor and they suspected me as a bookie. If that kind of cover is given to the cricketers, how do they manage to get involved in something like this?

Sreesanth is an established cricketer at the age of 30. The other two (Ajit Chandila and Ankeet Sharma) are young upcoming cricketers who have not yet made their identity in cricket. Why would they ruin their career for a few bucks and the babes? May be it is their stupidity genes.

Viswa

shyamala1234 · May 23, 2013

Dear Balaji,

My sides are splitting with laughter!!!! Still laughing while typing. Never laughed so much in recent times.

Every sentence is hilarious...I wanted to quote a couple of sentences but not able to choose which sentence is better than another. So, I can only say that whole snippet is hilarious and I enjoyed it immensely. I shoed it to my family...everyone is laughing.

thanking for a humourous one...it is difficult to write humour. All my four nominations are over. Otherwise I would have nominated it. For June nominations this one would be definitely there.

Thank you very much.

Syamala

Mindian · May 23, 2013

hi balajee,

I was away on a holiday so have still not read about this scandal in detail but I'd rather hear your hilarious version of it. crazy cricketers. once upon a time I was a great fan of cricket(like most Indians, I guess but not any more. maybe he bought jeans since he couldn't buy himself some clever genes ???

arch1209 · May 23, 2013

Oh I loved your write up!!! Given that we share an utter dislike for cricket (well I find it boring and cannot understand why a cricketer who scores 100 one day gets bowled on a duck the next day! Got something to do with match fixing??? Don't know) secondly we also same to have a mutual hatred for cricketers!

But I think what is poignant in this write up is that it is funny but it does make one think that as a society we are becoming increasingly consumerist. And I fear that this is increasingly happening to my generation.... A few months ago a friend called to wish me Happy Easter, I could not answer so he left a voice message. When I heard the message it went something like this "Hey happy easter, sorry could not call you before....But I was so busy. We were picking out a new car. We got an XYZ car for XYZ price etc... " followed by a description of the car. I think increasingly our conversations center around what we purchased, what brand, what price etc....

I remember recently they were asking people if they preferred mcdonalds coffee over the high-priced starbucks and a lot of people said that they actually preferred mcdonalds but would not be spotted drinking coffee in a Mcdonalds cup because it is a lower-priced brand.

Increasingly I have such a tough time talking to many of my former friends because I don't want to listen to their latest purchases, their price, their brand names etc....

Thank you for making me laugh.

Angellic · May 23, 2013

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl Hilarious write up...Enjoyed reading it...

I too hate cricket...Every IPL season makes me think of invading to someother planet where cricket didn't exist:idea...Hell with the "Yesssss" and "OH NOOs" and "Catch it man" and "Run Run"... around me:bonk...It really scares me When I'm busy with ma stuff and my dad and bro suddenly & simalteously, Shout "HOWZAT" with a explosive sound...:rant

A couple of Jeans for 2.5 l...mg: Well, i guess, someone had Bluffed him Harhar Poor chandila...

With love,
Angellic

Srama · May 23, 2013

Balaji,

I have no opinion on the game it self and that is simply because I don't ever remember watching a single game or match! I was one of those people how many players were on each side making my siblings and parents hit their heads hard to the wall. Now add the hundred teams that have sprung up along with the owners and the cheer leaders, all I can do is throw up arms in frustration and move on! I did hear and may be glanced at a couple of news paper items about the same and that was enough to throw up my arms again, in frustration! The amount of money that is floating around in that game and Bollywood, seriously they could be making such a big difference if they were not thinking of just themselves. your snippet is a satire on the cricketing world and enjoyed it thoroughly! Sometimes I don't think these people know how to handle their success!

Ah those stupidity genes - well looks like they are evolving at a much faster rate than needed! And speaking of sarees haven't you heard of Sabyasachi sarees and the actresses at Cannes festival?

Balajee · May 23, 2013

ShilpaMa said: ↑

This Chandi guy seems to have been made entirely of that gene....

:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
Agreed their are few more CHANDI ppl arnd me......

There are designer sarees costing a minimum of t Rs 70,000. They look just like the sarees I saw sweeper women in a department store in Vellore wearing.

Now this was a super SIXER without any match fixing............
Some ppl look sweepers even in a 70K saree.... whilst some sweepers look flanking a designer....................
By any chance did u capture the 2 sarees in ur camera :bonk:bonk

Yes Stupidity is in genes and displayed in various forms... splurging, eating, speech , writing n many many more ways..........
Click to expand...

I hope you aren't punning on the word CHYAMDI. (In malayalam it means something naughty which if translated here, will quickly be replaced with stars. True some people do look like sweepers in a designer saree and some sweepers can carry off even ordinary saris like designerwear. It is all about your personality. Let us wait and see how many more guys are going to be clean bowled in the scandal.

GoogleGlass · May 23, 2013

Good one.

He is a bowler who is supposedly fixed to give minimum of 15 runs / over.

Probably this labeled jean gives the Nirma Shine to the ball so it helps the batsman to crack him easily for over 15 runs - oh wait a sec while playing he doesn't wear the jean - my stupidity genes are worse than his - lol