Overhearing or eavesdropping---good or bad?

Dear friends,

My answer to this question is good. How come? This is the question will be running in your mind at this moment, isn't it!

I will explain.
I was doing this act long time ago ( may be years ago not yugams).
I also remembered one saying in Tamil where they say that those who do this act will be born as a lizard in their next birth

I took a decision one day not to do this act( not for the fear of being a lizard) but to do justice to me.
I used to 'hear' what my mil says when she is on the phone because is critical of everybody around her.
Just out of curiosity I developed this habit. Too bad.
As a result of this whenever i hear her say something ill of me to her relatives and friends, I felt bad and even began to think I am like that what she described me of.
This caused tension, stress and what not related to that.

Ok I thought enough is enough, I am going to stop someone affecting my life adversely.
I stopped 'listening' to those phone calls and I found peace within my myself and got the self-esteem and feel good about myself and do things enthusiastically.
These people are not going to change.
so why not we change ourselves for the betterment of our family and ourselves.
It helped me a lot.

Now tell me , whether it has helped me or not in taking the 'good' decision not to eavesdrop, in future, which for sure I will follow.

sriniketan

Dear Sriniketan
You have taken the right decision. We are all humans when we hear everytime that way we start feeling the same, and think too in hat way.
So the best way is to ignore such remarks and be away from it and we will feel peaceful and will never have and stress and feel happy too.........
My MIL too does the same she hardly get to stay with me but still what ever little time she gets she makes it a point to tell some thing or the other. I ignore it thinking she is uneducated so why i too react to what she says will listen from one ear and leave out from the other and back on my way. Happily enjoying my life.

hi sriniketan,

do not look back. you have taken a right decision. we may not seem to be good to everybody in this world. let it be an ordinary person or a superstar.

likes and dislikes varies person to person. if we understand this basic concept, we will not bother about others complaints. there may be few things in you which your MIL likes.

as you said hearing or overhearing about us and feeling sad about it is of no use. this is human tendency.

people may say that "i never speak behind". all this is rubbish. you can find only very very very few of them in this world. these people are never in the limelight.

according to me people who speak behind - are cowards.

Hi Aruna,

True Aruna, have it in one ear and leave it throught the other one..

That's what the '3 monkeys figurines represent'--talk not, hear not, and speak not bad things.
Do you know why the monkey is having another hand over his mouth--it says eat less too!

I like your avatar, BTW what they are whispering....hahaha..

sriniketan

vanaja,
thanks for the encouragement you had given me saying that my mil might have seen some good things in me, really....ok. let us be positive in that field.

satisfying everybody is not possible, accepted 100%

talking at our back---is the act of the cowardice.
But clear me one point----I read this in a school poster----
Your standing in the society will be known by the comments you receive when you are not present at that time.

sriniketan

Very well written Bhargavi..really like the way you have across all this. I know how disturbing it can be when someone talks behind our backs. My inlaws are no more but I have a mother who fits the profile of your mil only to me that is. For many years i used to get really upset when she puts me down or talk ill ofme but like I decided one day i will not pay any attention and thats that. She ofcourse has not changed. life continues. Nice writeup do continue.

AC,
Sad to note that you underwent this kind of thing in your early age..but vey glad to see that you had overcome that very early..hats off, dear...

sriniketan

Not just early age..happens even now..

sriniketan,

A wise decision. There is a old saying, Eavesdroppers never get to hear anything good about themselves...

Originally Posted by Sriniketan

vanaja,
thanks for the encouragement you had given me saying that my mil might have seen some good things in me, really....ok. let us be positive in that field.

satisfying everybody is not possible, accepted 100%

talking at our back---is the act of the cowardice.
But clear me one point----I read this in a school poster----
Your standing in the society will be known by the comments you receive when you are not present at that time.

sriniketan

hi sriniketan,

i fully agree with the saying. i consider this as only, like - the people's opinion about a person when the person is dead.

whatever the comments may be good or bad, how authentic they are when they are not said to you directly.

your mind will accept only the good comments. you will try to defend or justify the bad comments.

so, i feel it is better we follow our conscious and just not bother what others say about us at the back.