Saying GoodBye

Jaynat,

I had seen this post as soon as you had posted it. I was so moved after reading it and told myself that I will reply once my nerves have settled! Well, it do not take this long for my nerves to settle down, but it sure took me so long to reply!

Excellent use of words and perfectly communicated emotions. Goodbyes are always hard. I wish your daughter finds the best of friends everywhere she goes - I am sure she will.

There are these line I had read somewhere eons ago. I remember these line everytime I have had to say goodbye to someone -

" To meet and part is the way of life,
But to part and meet is the hope of life".

So here's wishing your daughter a lot of hopes..
SS

Hi twinsmom,

Good to hear that u had visited Istanbul. I feel it is one of those places a person should visit at least once in their lifetime. It has so much of beauty to it. Ya i am sad to move from this place, but I did mention in the first few lines we are relocating for other reasons too. My husband's job postings and Projects being another one of the main reasons. But defenitely we will keep coming back here on vacations to enjoy the sights and sounds of this beautiful city.

HI SS,
Thanks for your message and your lovely wordings, Your name always reminds me of Jonathan Livingstone's
" SEAGULL". And i should say it is very apt having read some of your replies and posts in the relationships thread.

Cheers
Jay.

Dear Jaynat,

After seeing your post being repeatedly nominated by our stalwarts for the FP of the month, I raced here to read this wonderful piece of your writing.
You write well, more than that, you feel! And that was there for all of us to read and empathize.
This took me back some years...when I also took my little girl away from England, from her first school and classmates to another alien country. Luckily for her, she got into an excellent school system, but lost out on her very British accent and after few diligently written letters which continued for a couple of years or so, all that remained was the photographs that a pained mom, me, took on that occassion.
Dear Jaynat, you have to do what you have to! With a loving mom like you by her side, your little girl will do just fine. I wish you the very best for your new beginning.
And yes, I was in Istanbul and loved every minute of being there. A remarkable city. You are bound to miss it!

L, Kamla

Dear Jaynat,

I don't know how to start....It is so painful....to say...and to watch being said...

Even after we dedicate our lives for our kids, it so motherly to feel at the end of the day to decide doing something better than what we did now....Kids are so adaptable.....
Enjoy your way back...

Love,
Oviya.

Dear Jay,

You are a person with a kind heart. That is why something routine as a school-relocation has affected you so much.

This is one of the finest posts I have ever read in IL. I know how troubled should you be. Now psychologists agree that a child relocating her school is a major stress-factor for her parents.

And what you say is true. Many a time we tear the bonds and destroy the relationships for something we assume to be good. Your using the words "or so I assume" within brackets is a masterstroke, Jay.

I have already started praying for your Darling Daughter. Having learnt under such a master and having had friends from diverse cultural backgrounds, she might find it to difficult to cope up with our heavy text-book laden education system. More than that she might be vexed seeing her friends constantly worrying about the marks, and constantly planning strategies to score more marks than their close friends.

My friend said, "School children are friends till they finish 9th standard. Thereafter they are rivals."

I am not frightening you, but trying hard to prepare you for the ground realities here in Chennai. People like me who have not known much of the outside world, who do not know about the Master in Istanbul who takes children out to learn about Nature, are quite happy with our teachers who repeat lessons from our text- books and Konar Notes almost in a parrot like manner. But your daughter?

When you come down to Chennai you need to play the role of your daughter's friend for a while.

All the best.
regards,

hi jaya,

when you say good bye you mean a lot. we need to feel happy that we are saying only "Good" bye. rest of everything is for good.

as far as your kid is concerned, she may loose her present teacher and friends. but she is awaiting a great teacher, good friends and a place to learn about the life.

there is lot more to know about our country, its treasure, its culture, its magnanimity. our bharath is considered as karma bhoomi, thyga bhoomi and gnyana bhoomi.

so, do not feel bad about leaving and say a heart felt "Good" Bye.

wonderful jay,
a mother's perspective and worry about the choice of bringing her to india and its repurcussions have been well expressed.

i still feel they are well exposed in america and the children get more wider oppurtunity any way may be u r right and i am wrong hope for the best, well narrated though...sunkan

Dear Jaynat

That was really very touching! Well written piece. When I finished this, tears were rolling in my eyes. I think you are doing the right thing for your daughter.

Saying “Goodbye” is always painful. But children’s get used to the new surroundings much faster than us! Don’t worry; your daughter seems to be very smart and she will make good friends there!!!

All the best for your R2I.

Dear Jaynat,

Like Kamla said, I too rushed to read this post after it was nominated for Finest Posts. And though the contest for Feb is still running, the nomination of this post has fully served the philosophy of FP. We believe that the goal of that contest is to make good posts more visible in IL, enable them to be read more and more frequently. This is what a good post does to the contest.

You have sketched the whole experience so well in different parts. It is kinda nice to read about the bonding that second graders develop at the tender age and mind. And heartening to see that they jostle to sit, stand next to your daughter. The world of children knows no exclusion, all are friends, they all love each other. Friends are not dispensible commodities, they are treasures. You have brought all this out so well. And I loved the parts where you talk about the moving, the reasons to relocate. Painful as it is, the child's future should always be considered first. Which as wise parents, you have done rightly.

As a child, I studied in the same school, continued in the same place. To me moving seemed a fascinating opportunity. As a wife, I have moved four times in 13 years and somehow have stopped loving the challenges and comforts associated with each move. But the mind of a child is so much more open and eager to absorb new experiences and challenges.I know that your daughter will miss her friends, her school, her teacher, her routine in Istanbul. But she will learn to renew and re-live all these again in Chennai.

And I have been to Istanbul to Bogazici University to deliver guest lectures. What a fascinating place and people. You are lucky that your daughter got to live there for sometime.

Goodluck to you and your daughter.

affly
Vidya

Dear Kamla, Oviya, Sunkan Mam, Rajita Gireesh, Srinivasan Vanaja and Vidya,

Happy to recieve your replies to my thread and your warm and loving wishes for our relocation. Thanks a lot for the same.

Dear Varalotti Sir,
I am very touched by your reply to my thread and you have stated the realities and the situations which we will face in a very practical manner. I thank you for your wishes and your prayers sir.

With Warm Regards
Jay