How Much Does Gender Count?

As people, we tend to assume that females and males are different — are indeed opposite sexes.
We see someone’s sex as an important predictor of their abilities and interests and assume that if we know someone is a girl or a boy, we know a lot about them.
The saying goes as Girls does better in studies as they are studious and not playful like boys. And boys are good with Math as they use their brains and girls are just good at mugging up.
But these assumptions are wrong!
Knowing someone’s sex we may tell us a lot about them biologically but it tells us very little about them in other ways.
Knowing someone is a woman does not tell us if her athletic ability is closer to P T Usha's or a couch potato's.
Knowing someone is a man tells us nothing about whether his math skills reflect those of an Einstein or a math phobic.
Sex is not a good predictor of academic skills, interests or even emotional characteristics.

One of my husband's friend had a second girl, so people around them started talking that they must have made some sin and so only god gave them two girls.
Many friends/relatives tells me that I am very lucky to have two boys and no girls.
But I tried to explain to people that having a boy or girl is no difference in this world.
As a parent we give equal importance to boy and a girl.
Whether it be a education, activities, love - affection, food anything.
But they were arguing with me that having girls is so much problem during their teenage etc etc….
But still we face problem even with boys too… why don't people understand this.
Whether a boy or girl, during their adoselent age they might do mistakes and both (either boy or girl) has face the repercussions.
Boy's might get into bad influences, friends, drugs etc and might not do good with studies.
Girl's is a different story like marriage, in-laws problems etc.
But we see different problems from both the kids.
As parents, we need to guide them (boy or girl) at every stage until they become matured and we get the confidence in them.
Either boy or a girl making them a GOOD CITIZEN and a RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN is important to parents.

Thanks.

Very good analysis, Punitha, which is indeed true.

Till everybody changes their attitude or opinion about boys and girls, this discrimination will persist, even if we change our attitude.

Old habits die hard.

sriniketan

Yes, I agree Puni. Gender doesn't matter. We are three girls to our parents. My parents never said/thought anything negative about us in last 32 years. They heard the entire BS - from being sinners, others disappointments about them not having boys, girls wedding costs, advice about not to educate too much and spend too much money on girls since they have to pay at their wedding anyways etc. But not for a second my parents listened to others. They strongly believed in bringing up kids lovingly, molding the girls into strong, confident women, so that they can face any storms that may come in future and believed in educating them to the highest that they can make good life and financial decisions alone. And that is what happened. We are one engineer and two doctors, happily married with husbands who respect us for what we are.

Actually in a way Gender matters. It is a good thing to have girls, because they at least care about parents while they care about husband, kids, in-laws etc. Boys are less likely to do so, unless the wife supports them. They are the weaker sex in that case. My uncle’s three sons are the perfect examples for this. My uncle and his wife never cared about my grand parents when kids were growing up. They never allowed anyone into their home, saying the boys are studying and will be disturbed. Yes the boys excelled in studies and moved out. But they are following their parent’s example. Now they don't call them, they don't talk to them, they don't invite them to their houses. On the other hand, we three girls talk to our parents everyday. We spend time with them. We invite them to our houses. My parents play with our kids happily.
So, we can say Girls are better than boys.

I have two-year-old beautiful girl. I am planning to have another child in future. In a corner of my heart, I wish I had a boy. But this is not for any extra intelligence or abilities my son may have. If I compare with my daughter, no boy is as intelligent and as mature as my daughter. But still for a change, I would like to have a boy. This boy would be the first boy in my parent’s side of the family. But I assure you, if I have a boy like I wanted, I would bring him up with utmost caring and mature mentality like my daughter. I know that when he grows up, he won't be as loving as my daughter, but he may be half that way if I try.

But if I have a girl child next time too, then let me assure you that there won't be an inch of disappointment in me. I will consider myself blessed wonderfully twice!

Hi Sriniketan,
Thanks for your feedback. I think now a days people are changing, but l some old goodies mentality still exists.

Regards.

Originally Posted by Sriniketan

Very good analysis, Punitha, which is indeed true.

Till everybody changes their attitude or opinion about boys and girls, this discrimination will persist, even if we change our attitude.

Old habits die hard.

sriniketan

Hi Miss Venus Anonymus,
I 100% agree with you that only daughters will support their parents and sons will change their colors accordingly. I wish I had one daughter :(

Regards.

Originally Posted by Venonimiss

Yes, I agree Puni. Gender doesn't matter. We are three girls to our parents. My parents never said/thought anything negative about us in last 32 years. They heard the entire BS - from being sinners, others disappointments about them not having boys, girls wedding costs, advice about not to educate too much and spend too much money on girls since they have to pay at their wedding anyways etc. But not for a second my parents listened to others. They strongly believed in bringing up kids lovingly, molding the girls into strong, confident women, so that they can face any storms that may come in future and believed in educating them to the highest that they can make good life and financial decisions alone. And that is what happened. We are one engineer and two doctors, happily married with husbands who respect us for what we are.

Actually in a way Gender matters. It is a good thing to have girls, because they at least care about parents while they care about husband, kids, in-laws etc. Boys are less likely to do so, unless the wife supports them. They are the weaker sex in that case. My uncle’s three sons are the perfect examples for this. My uncle and his wife never cared about my grand parents when kids were growing up. They never allowed anyone into their home, saying the boys are studying and will be disturbed. Yes the boys excelled in studies and moved out. But they are following their parent’s example. Now they don't call them, they don't talk to them, they don't invite them to their houses. On the other hand, we three girls talk to our parents everyday. We spend time with them. We invite them to our houses. My parents play with our kids happily.
So, we can say Girls are better than boys.

I have two-year-old beautiful girl. I am planning to have another child in future. In a corner of my heart, I wish I had a boy. But this is not for any extra intelligence or abilities my son may have. If I compare with my daughter, no boy is as intelligent and as mature as my daughter. But still for a change, I would like to have a boy. This boy would be the first boy in my parent’s side of the family. But I assure you, if I have a boy like I wanted, I would bring him up with utmost caring and mature mentality like my daughter. I know that when he grows up, he won't be as loving as my daughter, but he may be half that way if I try.

But if I have a girl child next time too, then let me assure you that there won't be an inch of disappointment in me. I will consider myself blessed wonderfully twice!