35 Years of Married Life

The journey from day 1 till now was good.
When I got married we were living in Chawl system. My husband had many responsibilities so at that time could not buy a house. We were in joint family. My mil, brother in law, my husband's two nephews were staying with us. I was also a working lady. My husband's family is a big family and all are very co-operative and all are expert in cooking. For any function they never used to keep a cook used to manage themselves. Now my brother in law is a caterer. I got married in 1973 and my mil expired in 1974. For three years I did not have a child and was very desperate. With God's grace in 1976 my elder daughter was born. My brother in law, sis in law and nephews only helped in my delivery. Then later when my brother in law got married he shifted.

In 1978 we shifted to a flat. My nephews also got job in different places. In 1978 my son was born and in 1979 daughter was born. Between them there is only 1 year 9 months difference. Since I was a working woman it was difficult working and bringing up the children. When they were young we did not have a phone at home. Used to contact the neighbour’s to know about the children. My husband used to go to office at 7 a.m and return home by 4.30. I used to go at 7.30 and come home after 6 p.m. My husband used to bring the children to the station to see me. Then we used to come home together. I was working as Steno in accounts section so month ends there used to be more work and i used to get late.

Since my husband's family was big there used to be some function or other and i being the eldest daughter in law had to take leave for that. My husband is very co operative and so I could manage going to work and looking after the children. When my elder daughter came to X Std on the opening day of the school i had hip bone fracture and was hospitalised for two months. My husband only took care. I was in bed for two months. For one month he took leave and later my sis in law came to look after me. She also took good care of me. Since i was in bed for 2 months there was no blood circulation. The doctor was not doing anything to make me walk. Then we consulted another doctor and he said the operation is not done properly and he had to operate again as the needle which was put was put was projecting. So had another operation and with physiotherapy I was able to walk. It was difficult to undergo physiotherapy. But after some years again I had problem and consulted a big doctor and i was operated again and hip joint was put inside . I used to go to work with the stick in hand. Previously i used to go by train then after the fracture i started going by contract bus. We had three buses and we used to have many activities like housie and all. And once the organiser kept a competition between the three buses and we celebrated all the functions in the bus only for a year and had games etc and the best bus was chosen as the winner. I used to invite the bus people for navratri and give them snacks…........to be continued.
Hope you have enjoyed the story so far, if you would like me to continue do let me know.

Dear IyerViji,

I read your post with interest and am waiting for the rest of it! It is really nice to read about your very supportive husband and your extended family. Hats off to you for managing your family, playing the DIL role as well as having a career - without sacrificing too much anywhere. You must have phsically slogged though. I always thought life was a bit more tough for working women of the previous generation - it was not the in-thing to keep cooks/baby sitters, one had to spend more time with children during exams, cannot skip family functions even if it meant 2 days of travel to south, etc. Am I right?

Hope your health is fine now and that you are enjoying your life now more than before, and with less responsibilities. Here is to your health and many many more years of happy married life

Cheers,

Sumathy

Dear Sumarthy

Thank u for your quick response. I had difficult times and good times too. But since my husband was supportive though he is a short tempered person he is a gem of a person. I had gone out for lunch as today is my son's birthday and wedding anniversary. So my son and dil took both us out for lunch. Now the time is nearing 3 and from 3 to 6 p.m. the current goes off here. As u rightly said it was very difficult when children had exams i used to go late to office and get late marks. As i was a good worker the company used to tolerate me. We had a lady to look after our children . She was not staying with her husband . So she used to feel jealous seeing both of us. As i was working lady for that also she used to feel jealous saying what is there for u when u retire also u will get money. We had God's grace so we could manage everything. I will write in detail tomorrow.

Once again thank s to u. Hope others will also enjoy reading the write up. I am not so good in English compared to the ladies who write in Indusladies site.

Originally Posted by Sumathy

Dear IyerViji,

I read your post with interest and am waiting for the rest of it! It is really nice to read about your very supportive husband and your extended family. Hats off to you for managing your family, playing the DIL role as well as having a career - without sacrificing too much anywhere. You must have phsically slogged though. I always thought life was a bit more tough for working women of the previous generation - it was not the in-thing to keep cooks/baby sitters, one had to spend more time with children during exams, cannot skip family functions even if it meant 2 days of travel to south, etc. Am I right?

Hope your health is fine now and that you are enjoying your life now more than before, and with less responsibilities. Here is to your health and many many more years of happy married life

Cheers,

Sumathy

Dear Sumathy


Thanks for your good wishes. Now my health is ok by the Grace of God. I can only sit on the chair, cant do namaskaram. But ok i am able to carryon life. Ihave retired now
after working for 38 years and enjoying my retired life.

Love

Viji

Originally Posted by Sumathy

Dear IyerViji,

I read your post with interest and am waiting for the rest of it! It is really nice to read about your very supportive husband and your extended family. Hats off to you for managing your family, playing the DIL role as well as having a career - without sacrificing too much anywhere. You must have phsically slogged though. I always thought life was a bit more tough for working women of the previous generation - it was not the in-thing to keep cooks/baby sitters, one had to spend more time with children during exams, cannot skip family functions even if it meant 2 days of travel to south, etc. Am I right?

Hope your health is fine now and that you are enjoying your life now more than before, and with less responsibilities. Here is to your health and many many more years of happy married life

Cheers,

Sumathy

Dear Iyerviji,
It was a very interesting post to read about ur married life and ur kids...Please do continue ur postings!

Hi IyerViji,

Your Story was very nice to read and we enjoyed the feeling of journey of life...
Its very nice to hear the support you got from your Husband and entire family.
Your story was very encouraging to establish good relationships to all daugter-in-laws who are new to their husban's family...

And also about your Contract bus trips....its really nice to have Bus friends. I also got remembered of my enjoyments at Bus.
In my earlier company i need to travel in the office BUS for 4 hrs to and fro. We had great time .

We play Dumb Shareds, Antakshri... also we celebrate our Bus friend's B'days by cutting cakes and commenting others......full of fun and laughters.....whcih will be evergreen in all of our memories....

Even in college days we have special ladies bus.....wow that another great moments...singing songs...louder....all seniors ang juniors together.....having lots and lots of fun.....when bus stops near Men's hostel.....we used to make hell of noise for fun....!!!

Those happy and joyest days we cannot regain back!!!!

Please madam.... continue with your story........it realy a warmth feeling on reading your story......

waiting for your continuation to be read!!!

With Love,
Sudha balaji

With the encouragement I got from Ilites I am continuing my experience of married life.
Before marriage I was a carefree person. Since I was the fourth child I did not have many responsibilities. I had a gujrati friend who was well off. I used to go with her to school in car. We were in Hyderabad that time and our houses were nearby. We became friends in 1957 and till now we are good friends. We used to study together. Before the maths teacher used to take the lesson we used to try the sums at home only with the examples given and finish all our sums fast and try to get good marks. She wanted to learn typing during our summer holidays and because of her I also learnt typing and that became useful to find a job.

We shifted to Bombay in the year 1965. Evening after work I used to learn stenography. I joined as Typist and later I was promoted as Steno and after some years I was promoted as Senior Assistant and I used to look after Bank Reconciliation of the whole Company. I was working in Warner Hindustan which merged with Parke Davis in 1989 and taken was over by Pfizer in the year 2001. So in 2002 I took VRS when I had only 10 months to retire. I worked for 38 years, 36 years in Parke Davis and two years in Martin & Harris in Hyderabad. I started working from the age of 20 yrs. Before that I used to give tuitions to my friends nephews and nieces after passing school.

At the age of 22 yrs we came to Bombay. I used to go to Office by train so had many train friends. In the office we used to have tamil library which I used to organize. Got married and after that I had more responsibility. My husband’s family was big. He has eight sisters and three brothers. Now six sisters and one brother are alive. My elder daughter learnt typing and stenography during college days. In the typing class she was made Supervisor. Then after finishing studies she got job in a bank as Secretary. My younger daughter also was working in a bank as Receptionist. Later she joined another bank and now is working in the clerical side. They both are graduates. They did not study further as we wanted to get them married. My Son after completing B.Com did CA. He is also working. All are married.

Dear Iyerviji,

Read your post today while surfing for news from "Aamchi Mumbai". In times where seperations seem common (often for trifle reasons), your post comes as a breath of fresh Air.

A pleasure reading.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

Regards,

Corallux

Dear Corallux

Thank u for ur views. I enjoy this site very much and read every one's write ups.


with love and blessings

viji

Originally Posted by corallux

Dear Iyerviji,

Read your post today while surfing for news from "Aamchi Mumbai". In times where seperations seem common (often for trifle reasons), your post comes as a breath of fresh Air.

A pleasure reading.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

Regards,

Corallux

Dear iyerviji,

It was lovely reading your write up about your very supportive and loving family.

Now,that you are leading a more relaxed pace of life you can look back on

those difficult days and really feel relieved that all the hard work is done and

children are settled. Your post will definitely be a source of strength and

inspiration to others who are going through difficult times.

Honestly, I would like to say that you are a person with tremendous will power

and sense of commitment to your family.Even under tremendous pressures due to

health factors,you never gave up striving to meet your commitments and have now

emerged as an achiever who faced a great deal of trials and trbulations.Bravo!!

It was such a pleasure reading your post...so much of positive energy seemed to

flow from your lines .Your motto must have been "Never give up!"We can all learn

from you.

Best wishes and may you enjoy good health and all the love and affection from

your dear close and extended family always.

PAULINA