My Illegitimate Children

My Ilegimate Children

Yesterday a printer of mine came to invite me for a wedding.The Cards being in Hindi, and i have trouble reading and writing Hindi,I asked him whose wedding it is, meaning his son or daughter, or his nephew or neice.He said " Aapke bete ke Shadi Hain"(It is your son's wedding).I swear I have never set my eyes on his wife, so how the hell is the child mine ! I must have attended dozens of weddings of my sons since i came to Jaipur, though i have none of mine.I guess i must equal the record of Gengis Khan, who is said to have fathered half the population of India, as per what the news papers said a while ago.And i will soon compete with him, as I am discovering more and more illegitmate children of my own.


There is a joke in Germany,” Never slap or scold a child on the streets, he may be yours “


Today m orning when i mentioned this incident to my walker friend, he laughed out loud.He told me an amusing incident.He is a follower of a Guru here.A lady came to the guru,with her newborn,born after many years of marriage,and told him" Aap ki Ashirwad aur Karamat se yeh paeda hua hai ".the Guru smiled naughtily and told the lady" How am i responsible for the birth of yr baby".Gurus too have their sense of humour.


When i compliment them on their new car or building, they say " Aap hi ka hai bhaisaab", while they hide the keys from my eyes.At first these things used to bug me, but not anymore.I have got used to all this.Word can create misunderstandings, like Harbhajan Singh.He said i told Symonds " Mainu Ki",which Symonds thought he was calling him Monkey.Australia has one language English, we have so many, so the Australians must learn all the Indian languages, before they cry baby to the Umpires.Let me explain.


In Lucknow,they call that vegetable Arbi as " Guianyan", which in Sindhi means the bums.In Sindhi we call it " Kachalu".Lucknow the parents call the son " Launda, and the daugher Laundiya, which is degratory in other parts of India.Cheap local liqour is called " Thada" in Jaipur,and this word means bums in sindhi.A Fart is called " Tit" in Sindhi, which u all very well know what it means in English..There is already so much confusion in India itself,so the Australians better learn our languages and dialets before they say something.


There can be other words which can be twisted. " Bus Kar " can sound like " Bastard",Mujhe Fukhar hai (i am proud of ) can sound like Mother F@@@er, Bum Bum Bhole, can sound like we are calling them bums, " Aajkal" can be understood as " Rascal".


I guess every language has some words, which are naughty in another one.That is the beauty of India,with so many languages and dialects, and we Indians too don’t know much about them,besides our own mother tongues, English and Hindi.


I guess that is why Foreigners find India fascinating, but not the Australian Cricket Team.When they lost in Delhi in 96 in the test match, they cried that ther was too much smog, because of which they could not play well.Cry Babies.


KAMAL MAHTANI

Dear Kamalji,

First, Wish you and your family a Happy new Year......

When I saw the title itself, I understood our friend is for some naughty naughty stuff.... Great.... Now I have learnt lot of naughty words in Sindhi....

Though we have lost the match to Australia, technically..... The manner in which they won has become a questionable thing.... To some extent we can understand the Umpiring error...but gross negligence...???... but not the cheating with regards to the catches....

I am happy that Anil didnt vent out, but made simple and appropriate statement... That shows the maturity, which the Australians lack....

Let us wait and see what happens.... I would be greatly satisfied and happy, if we give back the Australians by beating the next two test matches....

Veda,

thanks for this being yr first comment in the whole day.HAHA.Yes it will be great if we beat the Aussies in their backyard, and show them.Im sure the team will be very spirited now.REgards.kamal

Excellent.I was attracted by the title.You have very good sense of humour.

I find the best language for any mischievous saying, satire or a statement with punch is malayalam. Though I speak little malayalam and a mix of Tamil and malayalam at home, my husband corners me by twisting the meaning of what I say and yet keep an innocent face. Same words said in different tones means different things in malayalam,. He deliberately twists the sense and make me more irritated.

For North indians everything is Aaap kei hai. Their Betiis ur Beti. As you said "Yeh gaadi aap hi ki hai."minus the car key. kanaka

Nav preet,

Even u have a good sense of humour.See i have just received one comment before yours, and one after yours.These kind of blogs of mine dont get much comments here.They like the crying type sentimental blogs, which i do write, but sometimes.Mostly these are my type of blogs, and i am glad u found them humourous.

Thanks a ton.Regards.kamal

Kanaka,

You husband must be whacky like me.I also keep my family in splits all the time.I dont have the time to be serious, as it is we hve too many troubles all around.Thanks for yr kind comments.Regards.kamal

Kamalji,

Dhadho Sutho Write up as usual.

Ava khe Naye Saal Je Karore Karore Waadhayun!!!

Kamalji you had me in splits.

The Americans are afraid of Gujjus....they keep on saying "su che" which means kya and they think the gujju is talking of suing him :)

Roopa.

Daffodil,

you are a pucca Sindhi eh ! HAHA.Thanks very much.Regards.kamal

Roopa,

The gujju one was damn good.Thanks for liking my blog, which i had a feeling would not be very much appreciated here on Indus, but i posted it none the less.Regards.kamal