Meanest Mom and Dad

This is what happened sterday. My daughter for the last couple of days keeps on forgetting one or other things that I sent with her to school. Yesterday I packed her lunch and kept it in her backpack I remember. But in the evening she came back from school and told me Mom you didnt pack my lunch today so I ate in school. I got little bit angry and asked her to search the luch box in school. This is on one side. On other she forgets those homework sheets her teacher asked to do at home. This has been going on for the past couple of days. So I scolded her and told her father to advice her. She is his darling daughter. But sterday he advised her not to do like that in future. This is it. For this she stuck a note on the door of her room . It goes like this


Dear Friends,

Dont talk to my Mom and Dad. They are the meanest persons in the whole world.

She is in second grade and I dont believe she has written this. I know this is because of the exposures they had. My worries are how to tackle these guys in the near fututre. Today I have to talk openly with her and make her to realise what she has done. Give me ur experiences ladies.

Cheers
Lakshmi

Hi Lakshmi,
I have a second grader, who also has said that Mommy is mean.Don't worry, they are just taking out their frusturation.In school, the teachers are very nice to them, they expect, the same from us.I always tell my girl, that to discipline is a parent's job, at the same time, no one can love you and have your best interest than your parents.Make sure that she realises you love her, though you have to be tough on her sometimes.I always laugh at such things my kids say.Kids always say things, your kid is no exception, so just relax.
Love
Nivedha.

Hi Lakshmi,

Yes i have all those tags: meanest mom in the world, worst mom in the world and the list of bad adjectives goes on. I have 2 boys. The older one is almost 11, and the younger one is 4. I have received all these comments from my older one when he was about the same age as your daughter( 7 to 8 years). But , I just said, yes I am the worst mom in the world, and ask your friend, am sure he will say the same thing about his mom too...
Then I say, these are the rules of the house and him calling me meanest or worst or anyother such adjectives is not going to bother me. I will try to be even worser than worst if he does not tow the line. Well, he stopped after a couple of instances.

Now my second one has started, he will say" amma, you are very rude to me, i will ask appa to punish you!!" It just cracks me up!!!

So just take it in your stride. Just show them that you are not bothered about being called all these " bad names" and all will be well.

V

Hi Lakshmi,

I have a 2nd grader too. They say all the adjectives when they are angry.Dont worry too much about what ur daughter has written.They say whatever comes to their mind at that time.
As far as loosing things..my daughter is to be first on list.everyday she forgets one or the other scarf/gloves/hat/sweater. once she forgot to take her lunch box from the bus and she ate lunch in her cafeteria. finally in the evening she found the lunch box again.
But this yr she is better at gathering her things. Hope your daughter will come to that too.

Sri

Lakshmi,
don't worry, everybody faces these type of words from their children when they are young, where the children doesn't mean what they say.
Even my daughter said that maybe 8-9 years ago and when i tell here now that she had told me that, she will feel shy and ask me ,' really'.
So don;t worry about this, this phase will pass, quickly, but be firm on your rules, eventhough sometimes we can give and exception to that.

sriniketan

Hi Niveda,

Thanks for ur reply.
Even I laughed(not infront of her) at her response.

Lakshmi

Hi Vandana

Thanks for ur reply.

Sometimes I feel its her dad who is spoiling her. He takes her side when I scold her.

Lakshmi

Hi Sri

Thanks for ur reply. One day she came back crying that she has lost her gloves somewhere in the bus. I asked her to search the next day and she found that. Hope things to change soon.

Lakshmi

Hi Sriniketan

Thanks for ur reply. Me too praying to pass this phase quickly. But am sure will to face new challenges with these kids.

Lakshmi

hi lakshmi,

The children don't have places to vent out. so this is is a healthy way of sounding off. before in joint families, they could go and take the support of their grandparents.

My son has given more worser tags...you are the only mom who does not like her son to be happy. (when i put my foot down for something). my mom comes at me like a dragon spitting fire....

Come on we can't go and put too much importance to all this.. they will learn. ..because i know they actually love us so much.

forgetting, it happens...as they have too much diversion...take it from me, these kids will be the most responsible in life later..

my take on this is..just leave it for the time being...and can just put it in between when there is a amicable situation where she want to understand....

and if your DH starts advicing on the same day/time as you have finished scolding, it is like you have gone and complained about her. so..do give a gap....ask him to discuss and advice about it some time later....

things will be fine..