Youuuu Asian Parents...

Varloo,
I also experience the same here with my husband.
I think i am liberal than him, but sometimes had to 'vittu pidikaradhu' is the best way to deal with these kids.
These children are free with me in discussing various topics but not with him.
He says that children should not have any eggs or anything of that sort, which is natural because we are all vegetarians.
My arguement over this is--- we do not make anything at home ,related to eggs, but what happens if they eat outside, where they add eggs to donuts, cookies, cakes, etc where we can't do anything. Moreover they are children.
This point still does not appeal to him, what to do?

sriniketan

Hats off to your son and also to you as a parent in bringing him up!
drawing the line according to the priorities is itself an art!
Our values are always appreciated when put into practice in a practical way!

we are proud as 'asian parents, count me in too!

sriniketan

Yes, I am also a proud Asian Parent. Wondering why I am saying this, though I am in India?
Here it is very fashionable to hangout with friends all the time, ride bikes though under age, go to play stations and play computer games, dress very provacatively etc. etc.
When your child i not like that, you are an Asian parent in India too.

Only our son does not go to movies (Tamil movies of the stars) I take him to good English and Tamil movies and also let him watch good movies in tv too.
Recently we watched Mozhi, bought a DVD (it is more cheaper than the tickets cost). It was such a nice movie, very romantic and also humorous.

A very nice thread Sri...! I hope more parents with grown-up children come up with their opinion here..

My toddler is only 2 year old and it would be a long way to go for me to personally experience this. But a couple days back I was surprised to hear my kid address me 'Mommy', while it used to be amma to the extent that the other kids in his class started addressing their moms amma( he used to cry ammakittae when I drop him ). So, I ignored when he addressed me mommy and responded when he repeated the request with amma. So much so even with a toddler - eh???

But I do not really know if it is an acceptable thing to demean parents saying 'You..Asian parents'. Is it the peer pressure that makes them look down upon their roots. Or does the school or the outside environment not promote diversity???

Thanks for the forum link Shanthi. That was a nice discussion. But it took one youth 'Ko' to rise above peer pressure and proudly proclaim that she fully understands why her parents are strict( and rightfully so ). I mean other kids are either embarrassed that their Asian parents are strict or feel fortunate to have liberal parents who fortunately are not stereo typical. What do you all think???

hi

The thread is becoming interesting......three cheers to all those parents....who are proud. I think it all depends on the communication, understanding between the parent and the child more than the peer pressure. if the rapport sets in well, the child automatically can handle the pressure..from personal experience.



It all ultimately comes to the balance between the yes, and no...that when as a parent you need to say YES and when to say NO...and whether it is convincing to your child..because the moment the child has no doubts about your opinion/decision he will be really happy to support or act accordingly....

(My kids school allows only small ear drops....no long ones...in DD class, all the girls wear nice drops...i allow her to wear imitations as long as they are not distracting with any shining or anything of that sort..it so happened one day the girls started talking about this cost so much..that much..and this was brought by my mom, my dad...it seems. that evening my DD was telling me this incident...i asked her very casually, what about you did you brag about this was brought from...by....and all..I was so dumbstruck by her approach and answer "Mom, if i brag..it is going to irritate somebody, to brag that her's is more costly...then it becomes a visicious circle to prove to be one up...I don't want to be into that...."..) today's children are better equipped to tackle....


The pressure is everywhere...but it is more when it comes to when you are with other nationalities...

Wherever we are once we oppose something--we are titled' Asian parents', Varloo!
BTW 'Mozhi' is a very nice movie, i also watched it with my daughters. At last, a movie to watch with the family.

sriniketan

Gayathri, you are right.
I think the peer pressure makes them do so.
My daughter says that we are like the parents of a chinese girl who are 'strict' according to their terms. This way she started to say that ' you asian parents' are all like this, eventhough she values our culture.
she doesn't accept somethings in our culture which we also don't like.

sriniketan

Hats off, Shanthi, in bringing up your daughter that way. I think the proverb
thaayai pol selai' is apt here.
It is true that if we are in other country this type of this erupts.
I also accept that communication is very much needed to avoid all these things.

Veda, don't get discouraged--I meant to say both--but the proverb didn't allow that--what to do

sriniketan

Gayathri,

when our kids say " you asian parents" , they are expressing their frustration with our (parents) way of dealing with them. Their intention is not to "demean parents" , will never dream of saying demeaning things to their parents nor allow their friends to say demeaning things to their(friend's) parents. So we have to take it in the spirit it is said and respond accordingly. I say my kids are free to express their frustration with me same as I am in setting my rules for them.

Hello All
Its interesting to read all th eposts. That way I get to hear different sides and opinions. I seem to be the "odd parent" as I have not heard this line in my home yet but he is only 13 so we have time to catchup. Also with referencet o Shobanas post I agree with her that boys and girls react differently. Thanks to Shanthi for a wonderful reply Looks like all our kids have turned out good inspite of calling us Asian parents so we have to pat ourselves for being one.