Complexion..?

prana · Dec 1, 2011

Well, here in south India, complexion is the greatest complex in people. In fact we tamilians are usually of wheatish complexion. More preciously, we are having dark complexion. For me, this color was so elegant. But the beauty is, these (most of) people never like this color of the skin. They always wanted to run behind, ‘the fair’. For them, all the fair people are beautiful despite how they look. If any one is beautiful with dark complexion, their comment would be, though she/he is dark, looks beautiful.(கருப்பா இருந்தாலும் களையா இருக்கா). I really dont know why they always correlate color with beauty. As you all know, our skin color is mainly based on the melanin pigments. It is the primary determinant of the skin color. If it is present in our skin, we look dark; in its absence we look fair. That’s it. We can say this melanin as our security layer. So the fair people lost one layer of security (no offense). We can say like that. But no one understands this simple thing. Anyway they all wanted ‘fair and lovely’ skin.

And, the comments the dark people would get is really unendurable. I am witnessed to few of those comments. My DH has swarthy complexion. And I fall under the opposite category. One day in middle of our conversation, our neighbor asked this question to my utter surprise. “How did u accept to marry him as he looks very dark??’ How dare she could ask this?? I really didn’t expect this question from her as she too looks swarthy.
I replied her as, “It is not the color which determines our happy life, it’s our character and attitude. According to me both were excellent in him”. She never opened her mouth after that incident.

One of my friends brought her son to my home. We were chatting with each other. At that time, one of my relatives also visited me. While seeing my friend’s son, he asked my friend, “why he looks so dark?”. God!!! What a question it is?? My friend was looking at me puzzled as she didn’t know what to answer for these kinds of questions. Do we really have answer for it? I wonder. After she left the place, I told my relative playfully, “ u too look rubbish. Did we ask you why you were looking like this? Here after, don’t ask these kinds of silly questions, that too in front of the children”.( நீங்க கூட தான் பாக்க மொக்கையா இருக்கீங்க? நாங்க கேட்டோமா?) She just shut her mouth.

The recent incident was, I was gazing at my garden from my balcony. My neighbor (other one) also joined with me and we had a chit chat. As we were talking, the newly married couple walked past us. She immediately made this comment. “See theirs was a love marriage. I really wonder what this guy sees in this girl. She doesn’t suit him at all”.
I replied back, “See, if only the beautiful guys should involve in love, then our Mr. World and Miss World only would be in love and get married. Then how guys like you and your hubby would get married? Impossible. You remain be a bachelor for your entire life.” She was staring at me.

Arunarc · Dec 1, 2011

Dear Prana
That pigment is absent in me...hehehe
Many ask me if I had a love marriage becoz my DH is dark compared to the men in our caste. But dark or fair, the most impotant thing in life is we need to be humans and have love and respect for each other.
Dark colour is considered as the beauty, didn't you hear of the black beauty, the chocolate is dark don't we like them.
I know it is funny for people to compare with the colour and comment on that, best thing is to ignore such comments.

Kamalji · Dec 1, 2011

Dear Prana,

A wonderful blog. Dont we say Tall Dark and Handsone eh ! Now bcs of Shahrukh Khan, everyoine wants to be fair, do u know how dark he is in real l ife ?

We must accept gods creations with grace, he has a reason to make some white and some dark. And it is the heart that matters most , alongwith attitude, and grace, that matters more than the color of the skin.

Well said.

Regards

kamal

iyerviji · Dec 1, 2011

Prana dear thought provoking post.

It is not the color which determines our happy life, it’s our character and attitude. According to me both were excellent in him”.

I agree with you 100%

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
Audrey Hepburn

getstrngth · Dec 1, 2011

Hi Prana,
I love your post... I know how people are ridiculously mad. let me tell you an incident. My sister had a very good qualification. She did her Masters in US with a distinction and was earning really well. She was wheatish brown. when we were seeking alliance for her, grooms parents esp mother used to tell on our face that your daughter is brown though she is not dark... My parents used to feel really hurt. At some point my dad used to talk back saying that "if you think ur son is handsome why don't you get him married to Simran or Aishwarya ( they were eligible brides that time).

She is now married to a fair complexion guy and has a kid... I had a different case. I had satisfied the criteria of tall and fair but my nakastra was moola... I know how many people have told my parents "OMG we pity you, it will be hard to find a groom for ur daughter... " I didnt know the reason, later found out that if I get married one of the in law will die coz of my nakastra... This drives me crazy... sometimes i feel its better to be born as a guy in indian society... they are really lucky...

satchitananda · Dec 1, 2011

Hi Prana,

People who talk like this do not realize that what they speak puts a totally different complexion on their natures. Not only are they "unfair", they are showing how dark and hollow they are inside.

Subhaganesh · Dec 1, 2011

i love ur post...
love and affection comes apart from external beauty... because it wil subside day by day..

Aspire · Dec 1, 2011

Such statements talk about ones confusion and conflicting stands rather than about the other person spoken about.

This is actually mixing two issues which are not at all connected. Colour of the skin does not guarantee the character of a person and similarly, what has looks got to do with the character?

What a pity! Fair skinned flaunt their tan and the dark skinned spend millions for getting that unattainable fair skin.

What a state of mind! What we have is never good. What we do not have is the only good thing and worth having!

Srama · Dec 2, 2011

Growing up Prana, I never heard any of these things - probably we had a protective childhood. I used to see those fair and lovely ads, but since the way those models looked, did not make a difference to me or may be I was pretty clear I donot have those looks, didn't worry - anyways, I have never paid attention to them! Very often, I wonder about my own childhood (including college days) wondering about what really mattered to me and this doesnot fall at all! If anything, I have often heard my mom and grandmom speak between themselves thus "kempu donkannu muchithu" in Kannada meaning the red (kempu) muchithu (hides) donku (the dents) or they would refer to the plant abrus (gulaganji Redirect Notice is what we say in kannada) and made it a point to look beyond and that has thus helped us I guess!

So when people speak of this color story or even refer to it, I have no clue and am very often amazed!! Don't I sound absolutely stupid? Well this is another aspect of our human race that gives me the food needed to live in a constant state of amazement!

Uttaraa · Dec 2, 2011

Often when the question is Why, why, why ? I wonder where, where, where ?

I'm siding with Srama on this, never came across such incident in the immediate circle of friends or neighbours. Sometimes I feel that I am living in some kinda parallel universe. Prana, nice post ! Looking forward to read more from you...