A good relation - trust and honesty

chweetchoyee · Oct 21, 2011

In our life we have so much of relations with no expiration date. It might be your loved ones or your colleagues or a auto driver who drives you home safely. Like salt and sugar i think honesty and trust is the basic and important ingredient in anybody life I think.

Marriage, You spend your entire life for eachother, you know about them nothing and sometimes everything. We love them unconditionally, sometimes with expectation and sometimes without expectation. But if for a moment if there is no basic ingredients in that relation - trust and honesty for eachother then there will be no love nothing and nothing...

I guess thats where all the fight, all the hatred enters and love, trust honesty exits. Its so unfortunate that we trust somebody whom we don't even know but fail to do with the one we love. We trust our servants more than our loved ones sometimes, we try to speak to them everything but not with our dear one. Why cant we have that trust, honesty and affection our old generation had, why there is a lot of space for ego, hatred, jealousy not an unexceptional feeling?

I penning down all these to know all your opinion and the reason for that Why? Within 15 days i heard so many things.. so many fights and so many divorce. Why two people cant be humble and trust eachother?

Father - son, husband - wife, MIL - SIL, again Sister - SIL.. so many relation but filled with conflicts. Is it so difficult to love somebody and trust them when you have to spend your life, interact or even may need help? Why a small misunderstanding creates so much of conflicts and when that can be solved by simple sorry. Why?

I ask the same thing to my sweetheart he say.. thats the nature of human being. Its hard to trust somebody or love somebody or even honesty is very critical thing. I agree but still why?

Why cant we just be humble and trust them...
How beautiful our life can be with love, affection and humble.. It can only happen if you have trust and honesty right.

raji2678 · Oct 21, 2011

A nice post, but remember that all relationships work both the ways. It is not enough that you are nice and trusting..If the other person is not so, no point in continuing.

chweetchoyee · Oct 21, 2011

Yes Raji, That is point why cant people be humble with eachother? It is for every individual.

Why the peace has become piece in everyone's life.

Why to fight when we have one life and yes it make huge different when our loved ones say.. I am there for you don't worry. For instance, in IL we seen so much of post on MIL's issue. Why cant we adopt ghandigiri just keep peace within us and around us..

vchelluri · Oct 21, 2011

You are obsolutely right in each and every aspect Choyee.

What I observed is that though some couple have the basic trust and honesty initially, they are driven away by their egoes so much these days mistaking it for their self esteem (in reality there is a hairline difference between SELF ESTEEM and EGO) and creating a way for all the other negative feelings to flood in.

If they just sit even for a single minute peacefully and retrospect themselves befor taking such major decisions of seperating, I am sure 90% of such cases are solved.

Regards,
Latha.

AkhilaaSaras · Oct 21, 2011

Hi Choyee,
All the relations are bnded strongly only with love , trust and honesty. Even if single bond breaks now the relationship wil be no more. Its hard to find people with all the three bonds. A simple give and take policy will matter a lot ,but a disease called "EGO" is the main thing which breaks al lthe relations. People should understand that we have no choices in life. Till we are here in earth as much as possible we can make ourselves happy and others in the same way. we can feel fullfiled if we are the reason of someone's smile........nIce post yar...:thumbsup

vidraghu · Oct 21, 2011

Very nice topic.... choyee.. People should "UNDERSTAND" each other well... Else, conflicts only...They do not spend few minutes also to understand.. i feel that's where the problem lies!

chweetchoyee · Oct 21, 2011

I learnt from my partner a simple recipe of peace -
little humbleness
little truthfulness
little affectionate
little selfless
little honesty and lot of love...

Its too much to expect others to change but i guess change with in ourself will be a good start to change our surrounding

satchitananda · Oct 22, 2011

Akhila, in addition to ego, there is another factor which leads to breaking down in relationships. We seem to equate closeness with the right to intrude into every aspect of the other person's life. We do not understand the need for personal space. And if we have to give the other person his/her space, our ego gets hurt then we cut that person out of our life. Every relationship, however close should follow some moderation. If we can leave our egoes aside and be there for others when they need us and keep a distance when they need to have their space, relationships would be much better. Trying to take over the other person's life or trying to be too possessive will only lead to problems.

chweetchoyee · Oct 22, 2011

satchitananda, i agree with you.

I request everybody to put their thoughts....

How can we improve our relation with our loved ones?

Life is beautiful, let us try to make it true..

upfsabari · Nov 1, 2011

Hi Choyee..

I just read your snippet..
You are right in all aspects.
In our country, we have the habit of intruding in everything of others. This causes all these problems.
If we are able to make a boundary b/w individual space, we (spouse) space, family space, etc. , then I assure you most of the problems will get sorted out.