"Total Qualtiy People" by Ambika Ananth

"Some people are called ' TQP'- Total Quality People, i.e., people with character, integrity, good values, good manners, positive habits, positive attitude etc".( Shiv Khera ). They have a combination of character and charisma, they give everything possible to help a person or a situation. What do they have in them intrinsically? They have developed an 'automatic behavior pattern' of all those qualities which help in becoming TQP- Total Quality People. The most important aspect of one's personality is, one's habits, life style, attitude and approach to life's problems. Why are our habits so important?, because they can ' work for you or work against you!'

'A habit is an acquired pattern of action'. A productive habit can add up to big, positive results. A productive habit, like being courteous, gives an impression of your personality, your values and priorities.' Being well mannered is a plain and simple behavior code. With a conscious decision to develop good habits for life, we can groom ourselves to gain respect and recognition. By trying to cultivate productive habits, we tread on the path of productive endeavors. Behaviorists suggest, instead of focusing time and effort on breaking bad habit, you should replace it with a good habit. For example if you are short tempered, irritable and curt in expression, instead of consciously trying to break the habit, just start being cheerful, courteous and considerate. It definitely takes some time, but it is worth the time. Athletes train 15 years for 15 seconds of performance.!

"A bad habit never goes away by itself, it's always an un-doing process." This undoing is done by 'replacing' ! To succeed in 'programming' ourselves to develop positive habits which become our behavior pattern, we have to cross four stages, according to successful management gurus. For example, think of how we learned to drive a vehicle. First stage is 'unconscious incompetence', that is you don't know what it is to drive a car, nor can you drive a car. Second stage is 'consciously incompetent' that is you become conscious of what it is to drive a car, but cannot drive.

Third stage is ' consciously competent' that is you can drive a car, but has to think every time you drive a car, you have a conscious thought about it. Fourth stage is called' unconsciously competent' that is you drive so well, as an automatic process, you don't have to think about it. You don't need the concentration and thinking because the behavior pattern has become automatic. This fourth stage is the level where our good habits should reach it seems. That is they should form an ' automatic behavior pattern.'

With a winning combination of character and charisma, you can get friendly co-operation from others. One business tycoon said' I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun.' A wholesome personality gives an ability to deal with people. Such people will know that 'the need is not only to get, but also to give!' They are called " TQP"- Total Quality People! It is never too late to change. All it takes is a desire to change. Auto-suggestion is one method recommended, where you keep giving yourself suggestions as to what kind of a person you want to be. Positive auto-suggestive statements act like self-fulfilling prophecy, once they are registered in your mind. Once you become a 'total quality person', it gives a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of satisfaction. You will be recognized and appreciated in your personal and professional areas, you will become a part of a 'worth while team' of life in its entirety.

Character building should become a habit, it will give a new meaning to life, it can change the whole life.' There is a little difference in people- but that little difference makes a big difference, which make people 'decide their habits and habits decide their future'. Here is a story, how one young man's habit of being courteous decided his future. One cold, rainy night, working at the front desk of a reputed hotel, the young man by name George, found an elderly, well dressed couple entering the hotel, with a worried and tired expression. They were desperate to get an accommodation in the hotel as all the other hotels were full due to an ongoing convention. He felt very sorry for the couple because he also couldn't give them a room as all the rooms were occupied. When they were about to leave with disappointment and helplessness, he went to them and asked them 'if they could consider occupying his room because he would be working at the desk all through the night and that his room will definitely be vacant. When they politely declined the offer, he said that ' it's the least he can do for nice people like them on such a nasty night'.

The next morning, after spending a restful, warm night in George's room, the couple before leaving thanked him, and the elderly gentleman gave a substantial tip to him and said that he is a kind of Manager who should be the boss of the best hotel in the country and also said something as wonderful as ' May be one day I'll build one for you!'. George, the well mannered, empathizing young clerk took it only as a compliment, but after two years when he received a letter from that Gentleman requesting him to pay a visit to him enclosing a round-trip ticket to New York, he was shocked beyond words. When he met the gentle man who wanted to know more about him, more with genuine concern than any suspicion, George answered everything courteously and thanked the gentleman for remembering him. Then the old man took George to the corner of a posh Avenue and showed a mansion of a building, rising high up into the sky. With a warm smile writ large on his face he said, " This is the hotel I have built for you to manage!" When George laughed it off as big joke, the gentle man with all the seriousness said ' I call this hotel 'Waldorf-Astoria' after our family name and you, sir, are the first Manager of the hotel', Congratulations!' The old man's name was William Waldorf Astor, the heir to one of the largest fortunes in American History, and the young clerk George C Boldt became the first manager of the grandest hotel of it's time. It is still one of the leading hotels in the World. The young man George made a productive habit of 'being courteous and caring' to others his 'automatic behavior pattern' with which he helped an elderly couple in distress which in turn decided his future. This story shows how our habits are connected to our destiny. " Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become words, Be careful of your words, for your words become actions, Be careful of your actions, for your actions become habits, Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character, Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your Destiny !!"

Hello Ambika,
You have very clearly written that the way we want to live our life is a choice purely made by us. I strongly believe in our scripture Brihadaranyaka Upanishad which says
"You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny".
Like every other thing in life, it is easily said than done. But if we start making a conscious choice in every action that we perform, we know when we tend to move out of our " comfort zone" ! We can attempt to put a check on our action.
The qualities of respecting others' sentiments, caring for them & above all appreciating them have to be carefully developed by our own auto suggestions, as you rightly put it. Whatever we give to others comes back to us manyfold is the unwritten law of nature. This is exactly what has happened to George in your article !
Developing new habits comes more out of our determination, but it is we who have to make a beginning, before it is too late. We can't be eternally thinking " old habits die hard" - how conveniently we find excuses for ourselves !
Ambika, I congratulate on a very well written article.
Love & regards,
Chithra.

Dear Ambika,
There are two things I liked very much about the article. First is applying the conscios-competent quadrant theory to character building. It is conventionally applied to learning and skill-building process, and you have extended it to character building.
Second is the story of George which is touching as well as inspiring.
When you talk about character building and quality person the words come out with total authenticity, for you yourself are a TQP and you always "walk your talk"

all the best,
sridhar

Deae Ambika,
this is an excellet article as per me. Actually, when I have to deal with people whi are discourteous, dishonest and the like, I always have thought why I am adjusting to them. Then I will tell myself that just because they are like that, I need not change my natural self. If I had been bad, I could change my behavior. As you story of George proves, maintaining our good qualities in all circustances certanly speaks for us.
My niece Archana is always punctual, whereas her friends are always late. Sometimes she had waited for nearly 1 hour for them. Also she is prompt and tries to finish her work in time. They make fun of her saying that she is always rushing. But I always tell her to stick to her good habits, they will prove fruitful in the long run and save her many troubles. Your article stresses the positive side. I have asked her to read this and give her comments. Thanks a lot for such a nice article.
Varloo

Hello Ambika,
It was good to read your article. Now and then we need reminders about how we lead our lives, and such articles which you all intellectuals provide for us in IL are really thought provoking! I especially made a note of the following statement, which i plan to forward to my daughter also.....which i am sure will be really useful for her life.

"Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become words, Be careful of your words, for your words become actions, Be careful of your actions, for your actions become habits, Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character, Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your Destiny !!"



Thanks for all the time you all take to provide some good reading material....by the way it is time for some more poems i think!
wth kind regards,

Dear Ambika Madam,
It was a very nice article. I enjoyed it so much. Usually I used to follow and respect my good habits and I alone will respect them. I felt it so much when I am in a group. After reading this article, I am so glad that there are some personalities who support this.
Thankyou for prsenting such an article.
Archana.

Dear Mrs.Chitra

I consider it an honour to be appreciated by a member as loved and respected as yourself. Thanks so much...
Our server was down so was unable to access anything, pardon my delayed response.
Seeking your good wishes always
warm regards
ambika

Dear Sridhar,

Thanks for calling me a TQP...you have a very rosy vision when it comes to viewing your friends..jokes apart, frankly, I am working towards becoming a TQP...whether one succeeds or not depends on how seriously one wants to improve, but one should not stop trying genuinely.
Wish me goodluck friend...
thanks for your continued support..
regards
ambika

Dear Varloo and Sudha

Thanks a lot for liking my article. In fact warm appreciation keeps writers like us going, or we wither away. By taking the essence of my article and saying good words about it, you have encouraged the writer in me to produce better work. Thanks again..
regards
ambika

Hello Archana

You should be immensely proud of yourself that you can claim to be well mannered. Now a days, many youngsters believe that by defying the set rules of manners, they become hip and happening. Thats a terribly wrong notion. In a group, guys or girls with good manners catch the best attention and approval.
I wish you the very best in life, and you continue with your good manners, they surely will take you a long way..
cheers
ambika