Thank u Portugal

Thank u Portugal​

To
The President of Portugal



Today I was so delighted to read in the papers, that u are so concerned about Abu Salem, the dreaded terrorist, and his wellbeing, that u want India to send him back to u.





First things first, Mr.President. (MP) in short. There was a time, not too long back, when we Indians used to lament the Brain Drain of the IIT students, leaving for the Western shores, in search of lucrative jobs, after paying peanuts for studying in the IIT’s , which was higly subsidized, from our taxpayer’s money, my Dad too being a taxpayer since the sixties, paying a whopping 97 %, as income tax, so the heartburn was always there.


Of course I am sure not one of those IIT guys came to your country Sir. We know your country through Goa, which u ruled for so many years, we know yr lifestyle, which is good, all sea food and babes and the beaches, but nothing there to earn , so I guess Portugal must be the place, which is good for spending, cheap liquor etc, but lousy for earning.


No wonder u are one of the PIGS the whole world detests. Now don’t get me wrong MP, in spite of the pretty beaches, clean city, the world considers u one of the PIGS. Let me elaborate, PIGS stands for the four countries that are bankrupt now, Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain.


This is what happens when all ur citizens think of spending time off at the beaches, babes, instead of working hard like the Germans, or the Americans.


And now instead of looking at yr own account books and improving yr finances, u want to poke yr nose in our affairs, and that too of criminals like Abu Salem.


When u sent him here in 2003 along with Monica Bedi, u had put the condition that treat Abu bhai with kid gloves, that he should not be sentenced to death, and the jail sentence should not be more than 25 years.


Now it seems the charges are going on a higher level, and u are distressed for this human soul called Abu, and u want him sent back to Portugal , as we are going back on our word.


As u are already bankrupt, is it not better that u have one mouth less to feed in prison, who was not yr citizen in the first place, rather than poke yr nose in our affairs.


I don’t know what the Indian government would do, but here is what an Indian citizen like Kamalji would do to teach u a lesson that u wont forget even for yr next 6 births.


I would tell all our criminals to take the first flight out, or if abroad already, and tell them they aer most welcome in Portugal, whose governemt is very worried about their existence, and that they should start a JAIL BHARO andolan, but the jails should be of Portugal.


This way we will be rid of all the criminals, and even send word to Dawood that he is not welcome here, but he is welcome in Portugal. So all these guys can stay in Portugal jails, and remember, these fellows are fond of Biryanis , just as kasab demanded and we gave, u too will have to take care of our citizens in yr jails, they are your guests, and they must get food, and other facilities, like babes etc , otherwise we will complain to the UN !!!



So dear Mr. President, please make up your mind, about Abu Salem, or we make up our mind to send u thousands of the other Abus we have here, roaming around.


As friends, and u being once our ruler, we can put in a good word for u, to these fellows here, what say Mr. President !!!


KAMAL MAHTANI




Height of pressure in Corporates


An employee of a corporate went to the loo for the big job.
As he sat on the seat, he read this written on the wall opposite

Itna Jor kam pe lagata,
To target poora ho jata !!!



Rahul Gandhi’s message to us mortals


Dear Indians, to pay mummy’s hospital Bills, we have had to increase the price of petrol.

Sorry

Rahul Gandhi



Written outside Open Heart Surgery Unit

“ Agar Dil khol lete apna yaron ke sath,
To aaj kholna na padta Auzaron ke sath “ !!!



Once Rakhi Sawant went to the LIC office
To get her body insured.

LIC officer – Sorry maam , we don’t insure public property




Recently kamalji put Axe deodorant and went out in the streets
(Harsha was out of town)

Half a dozen old women fell for him.

Kamalji complained to the company, that all yr claims are false, u show one thing in the advts, and now what is this ?

Company said, Sir,u must used an expired one !!!




Shankar Parvati and Ganesh


Shankar – Parvati where is my Trishul I cant seem to find it !
Parvati – Ganesh has taken it.
Shankar – Why ?


Parvati – To eat MAGGI noodles !!!




Brilliant answers by a student who got 0% marks in his exams

Q – In which battle did Tipu Sultan die ?
A – In his last battle

Q – Where was the Indian declaration of independence signed ?
A – At the bottom of the page

In what state does Ganga Flow –
A – Liquid state

Q – When was Mahatma Gandhi Born –
A – On his birthday

Q – How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people
A – By preparing mango shake !!!

Q – What is the main reason of divorce ?
A – marriage !!!

 

Dear Kelly,

Well said, yes the politicians and the crooks cam remain harmony, as we can see it here in Tihar itself.HAHA
so we aer ready to export it to them. We can even pay them to take them , they need the money , dont they, they are bankrupt as it is.HAHA

Yes the joke was so simple, but i loved the answers u cant refute them, the main reason for divorce being marriage, takes the cake eh ! HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear OJ,

At first i wrote an angry script, a la bachan in Deewar, who are they to interfere in our affairs etc, then i said everyone will write like that, how can i infuse some humour and tried it this way, and glad u liked it and nominated it.

thanks a ton for the fine words OJ, somehow this blog flopped, no deal, posted anotehr one a seriouis one , a thing taht happened today morning, a sad peice of the state of a man, who bared his soul to me.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Navs,

Yes the anger is there, who aer they to interfere in our affairs.Well the govt can do what i wants, it listens to no one.But they cant stop us citizens from voicing our concerns Navs.

Yes we can send them instead to portugal, where htey have sea food, beaches and babes, ane it will be cheaper to pay them a monthly charge per month, to keep them there.


America outsources us for software, we can outsource Pourtgual for our criminals and politicians too eh, HAHA

As they say, one way ticket to the moon, that Boney M song, remember,

Regards

kamal.

Glad u liked the jokes, which i receive on my mobile, i modify them a bit to make them short, and add a few words here and there to make them interesting.

 

Dear Raji,

Thank u.

Regards

kamal