Whew!! What a day!

Really!! Infact I should say what a week!! But I won't go into the details of the week and just say that today, I am happy that I did my first ever 10k. Let me also for the record state that it was the best run - the longest run ever for me in the shortest ever time and get it out of the way.

This stretch of a 10k that I ran today was the opposite to what I am used to - it was just that, a long stretch of a long long road which never seemed to end! It made me wonder if all those hills and valleys that we get in a normal course are a blessing in a way! Getting over every hill only makes me feel closer to the destination, gives me courage to do my best in the hill and slow down at the dip, gives me a sense of accomplishment when i look back! It makes me feel in control and gives me the sense to assess and the courage to pursue! I am wondering if this attitude portrays my personality in any way - my way of living and how I deal with the challenges. Is that why that Good Old Lord feels the necessity to throw challenges here and there - to help us realize our own potential?

Well, coming back to the run, being a flat run, it should have been easier for me. But things never work out that way - it was infact the hardest ever for me even though my best becasue of what happend before the run and how it influenced my own run.

The run was at the Air Force base and we were told that we would have the pleasure of watching all these jets fly by while running, which was indeed fabulous! It was 5 in the morning when we started from home after an hour's drive we were at the base. My run was to begin at 7.30 - my DH and a freind thought we were way too early and decide to nap for 1/2hr!! You know the temparatures are already dipping here, your body knows it has a long haul and forces you to hydrate well. Well that is what I had done, drunk enough water and the result was a long wait near the bath room at the base. When I got out, it was 4 mins to start time, so I ran only to realise that I was at least a mile away from the start line! A fast sprint did not get me there on time! When I finally reached, the very sweet Airforce guy pointed me to what looked like a swarm of people a mile away and said - "you know what! you need to go join them; and added in a friendly way 'by the way they are the walkers' "! Boy o boy! I did have some making up to do. I did a quick mental math and realised if the walkers are that far, the runners must be farther....atleast 11mins away, atleast a mile further away from the walkers that I could vaguely see when I started!! I set my watch and started, glad to note there was another runner who started late and a couple of other walkers who were just getting ready to start walking!

In about 6 mins I caught up with the tail end of the walker group. Now don't get me wrong, these are the people who have signed up to walk the 10k. I had signed up to run and watching all those people walk, I was very quick to think that I was stupid to run and simply could walk with them and it would not matter. Believe me, the urge to fit in the crowd that I was in at that point in time was way too pulling and weaving my way through all the walkers was not easy! try running in a mass of walking crowd!!! I was also at a point where I was not answerable to anyone but only to myself. No one, no one would have ever questioned if I had chosen to walk! After all, these are the kind of goals that we set only for ourselves! It is not a crowd thing, it is not a winning thing - it is simply what you want to do even though you may not know why! And you know, I know that I will feel miserable if I simply continued to walk and so after slowing down a little, I picked up again and soon was at 2 mile mark only to see a lady selling discount flying rides with a sign that said 'why run when you can fly!!" Duh!! after all that pep talk and run...now this! was all I could think! And here is the irony, when I reached the two miles mark, the timer showed as 33 mins elapsed - from the time the race had begun. Of course I could not let it deter me for I know I started 11 mins later! But how do I let it not affect me! For all real purposes I am there at that time, early start or late!! It is not my time, the race time but still....these kind of things can play tricks and make it harder to keep the perspective to do one's best!

The way I had to pep talk myself to keep doing what I was doing was not easy. The only aid I had was my watch which spoke the truth and helped keep things in perpsective for me. For the cheerers who were here and there, I was a trooper, a lone runner who is trying hard to finish! Little do they know that I have had a late start. It was even more important for me to keep reminding myself and often looking at my watch, that I am on target....I am covering the way I am supposed to!

Eventually I found myself catching up to the fag end of the runner group and slowly surpassing them. 11min can make a person finish a mile run and there were many who had finished by the time I had caught up with the runners club at 5 mile mark which incidentally was the longest I had ever run prior to this race! So it was all the more important that I keep up, to do beyond what I am used to in the time I had allotted myself! Finally, when I was almost near the finish line, a lady popped out infront me and encouraged me to keep that smile on - which had come out in full at the realization that I had indeed managed to run in the time I had set out for my self even though the timer showed 1.25mins at the finish line.

I could only heave a sigh of relief (if I could stop gasping for breath) and feeling thank God for the chip technology that begins the moment you start on the start line and stops at the stop line (so that you are timed for your pace by your start and finish time), that will certainly show my time as 1.14 mins when I was startled by an awesome Air Force Guy standing there with my medal and a big smile who threw me off further when he said "Congratulations S(my name)" and put the medal around me. Wasn't it impressive that in those hundreds and thousands of runners, they had managed to look up names and congratulate like it meant something!! For me, it meant a lot - I was not another face in thousands of runners but an indiviudal, more today after all that I had gone through!

Well, let me assure you - company matters even if it is a simple stop watch! This was a simple 10k and I could only visualize the state of mind of people who partcicipate in more rigorous runs and competetions! One learns that we alone are our best friends, and the state of mind we are in matters, group energy matters only if you are in the right kind of group, setting goals matters - even if it is just catching up to the perosn ahead of you and even though to the whole world you look like you completed the race in the time the board is flashing, you alone know it does not really matter and all that matters is how you feel in your own eyes knowing full well that you have done your best and that, that chip has clocked your time correctly!! Seriously I learnt that it was race with myself and I got a glimpse of my true self today and BTW, that medal indeed looks awesome

 

Thank you Shambavi!

We all go through those phases of wanting to do but stopping short of pushing ourselves. That in a way was I was trying to convey in the snippet as well. It doesnot matter whether some one supports us or not! we need to be in tune with what we want to do and follow through! It is a great idea to organize online and follow through here on IL.....and pull up those new socks and get going!!

Thank you for your feedback Shambavi!!

 

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

thank you for your response. I am elated! I want to write back to you but at the same time I do not want to take away the wonderful message you have given in your response - I will only be doing injustice.

I hope you understand and I have no words to express knowing that this snippet did remind you of Johnathan - like you, I never get tired of the reading the book! Thank you for sharing those words from the book as well and you are right, he does influence in a lot of spheres for me and am only happy to say that the book is like a guiding hand leading me!

Very profound and all I can say is thank you - you have brought out what every one needs to understand!

You know Cheeniya sir, your feed back means the world to me, for it assures me as well as makes me feel content that I am not crazy after all - and actually gives expression to my thought process! Thank you!

 

Dear Saras, your presence here means a lot to me and you know that! It is always such a joy to hear from friends and friends who are on the same page! Thank you for your feedback Saras!

 

Wow!! I could not have expressed it better Oj-da. This journey has not been easy....trying not to look around but only inwards takes practise and determination. And to feel content with in is such a joyous journey!

Looking at people around us with this sense will alone make us appreciate the beauty of what is in us and around us. Only when we look at a person like this can we admire a person for what he or she truly is and not from what we think/thought of the person.

This is why I keep writing here - getting these feedbacks from all of you brings in so much of value to what I have tried to write that it can only benefit any one who attempts to read through!

Thank you Oj-da for your feedback - you know you will have me contemplating for a long time now!