Good bye Bai! Enter the Nanny

satchitananda · Sep 15, 2011

[JUSTIFY]Imagine this scene in a remake of "Deewar":

Amitabh is a sprightly young man and asks Shashi Kapoor (Ravi)

"Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, tere paas kya hai"?

Here is what the answer would be:

"Mere paas woh sab hai, paapa hai, do-do maaein hain aur nanny-ma bhi hai".

(I have a car, a bungalow, what do you have? I have all that, daddy, two mothers and a nanny too - note this nanny ma not naani ma).

This was the dialogue that came to my head when I read an article in "Times Life" (Sunday supplement of the Times of India) dated 11th September 2011 entitled "Bye Bye Bai".

And why not? Ravi would have high flying parents in executive positions in multinational companies, jet setting all across the globe. The biological mother who is a high achiever does not want to waste her time in getting pregnant and risk coming down a rung or two in her career. So where did Ravi emerge from? That is where the "doosri ma" or the surrogate mother comes into the picture. So here we have a designer kid - Ravi - who comes into the world with one father and two mothers. One contributes to 50% of his DNA bank and the other rents him living quarters before he is fit to make his official entry into this world.

Now comes the next twist in the story. The Ravi of Deewar had his "maa" to dote on him and to look after him - to give him undivided attention. She lavished her affection on him, but could not give him any more. That is all she had to give him. But the Ravi of today has it all - wealth, toys, cars, mansions, pappa, mamma 1 and mamma 2 and nanny ma. The bai of yore who helped cook, clean and look after junior - bathing him, his big and small jobs, feeding him etc. is now a creature out of mythology. The brave new world will accept nothing less than a nanny who is well qualified, probably having a degree in education, who will not only do all the above but also play with him, tell him stories and teach junior some manners.

What does nanny get in return? The moon, if that is where the family chooses to go on a holiday. She accompanies them on all holidays, has a separate room in the family home, shares their entertainment (including an expensive drinks), gets her weekly offs and if she is an Indian nanny gets paid as much as Rs. 20000/- per month. And if the parents can afford more, then he gets nannies from abroad - fancy au pairs - who will also give him exposure to different cultures.

So now the modern day Ravi has the genetic make up of one mother, housing inside another and yet another nanny (or should we call her also mother - since she does everything we assumed mothers do) to lavish her time, attention and care on him. I am just wondering who is prima donna, and who occupy positions 2 and 3 on the winning mother stand.[/JUSTIFY]

vjbunny · Sep 15, 2011

Dear Satchi....
You are in your humourous Best....Coludnt hepl laughing all the way.....But On serious note I am afraid to think where will India head to with Au-pair.......may re-pair to history??????????

Cheeniya · Sep 15, 2011

My dear Satchi
Yeah, yeah! I remember that scene so well and I even remember the derisive laughter that followed this dialogue from the male section of the audience. It was quite clear then that this kind of emotional outburst was tailor made for women who formed the bulk of the movie going people. In Deewar, I could see the clear divide, men supporting the ‘mere paas sub kuch hai’ character and the women crying with the ‘mere paas maa hai’ lad! Your take on the subject is perhaps indicative of the sea change that has happened in human reactions to emotions.

You have raised a very tough question to answer which we normally come across in Vikram and Betal stories. Three mothers are one too many. If a MIL gets added in the course of time, that will make it four. And if the bride too grew up in a similar background of opulence and was blessed with a surrogate mother and a bathing, storytelling, manners teaching nanny who could attain the status of a mother through the nature of duties performed by her, there will be six of them in all!

This scenario is an excellent one for Ekta Kapoor to conjure up a mega serial which will be the mother of all mega serials, real mother this time, not a surrogate one! Six possessive women tearing the guts out of a hapless hero vying with each other to get the award for the most treacherous villainy! The prima donna? We’ll leave it to Ekta Kapoor!
Sri

omsrisai · Sep 15, 2011

Dear Satchi ....

Really a thoughtfull one.... Don't know where our country is heading to.....as cheeniya sir said this is a wonderful plot which ekta can use for her serial....

iyerviji · Sep 15, 2011

Satchi dear good one, I also remember that dialogue. I want to say "Mere pas dil hai kisiko bhi apnane ki"

Kamalji · Sep 15, 2011

Dear Satchi,

You are truly mad, andi have booked a room for u at the Agra mental hospital, AC room, good south indian food for u. You will have a bai/nanni to take of u.HAHA

You make Ravi have 3 mothers eh ! And if they can aford, then a foreign mother eh ! What a classic example, of one mother renting her womb for her, that is mom no 2, then come mom 3 and mom 4 and so on.

i tell u it will be a laugh a riot if a serial is made on yr serial, people will get confused about how many mothers the fellow has, and just imagine the plight of the wife of Ravi, how many MIL;s will she have to contend with, as it is these days the young ladies cannot get along with even one, and here u present her with a minimum of 3 and suiggesting a fourth too eh !

HAHA.Cannot stop laughing, i write a serious blog today, and u write this riot.

and by the way every pagal in Agra mental, calls himself Ravi eh !!!!!!

HHA

Regards

kamal

mimur9 · Sep 15, 2011

Satchi, atleast here Ravi could boast about mama and papa . imagine the relationships in western culture where the mon and dad divorce each other and get into new relationship, have a new family,...those children miss this relationship luxury with additional bonus (extra mom and nanny) which ravi is enjoying!!

people don't have time for their family but are running in the mad race for money in the hope of securing the future forgetting the essence!

vidchakra · Sep 15, 2011

Satchi,

A humorous post and yet so thoughtful!

Yes.. now a days you can get mother's love from others.. I have seen my friends having nanny at home for their kids..and sometimes kids get attached more to nanny than own parents

Srama · Sep 16, 2011

It must be the age catching up! When I read yoru thread i had all these things I wanted to share and only just now realised that all that has happened in my head and I have actually not shared here!!

wonderful way of writing Satchi! I was reminded of Krishna - poor guy he found it hard to convince two moms. Imagine the plight of these kids you speak of. In line with what you speak, I have heard of people here hire nannies who spoke spanish or Chinese and insist that they speak iin their native tongue to their kids so that they will pick the language. Now go right ahead and add a good "cross cultural/multi racial" flair to all that you have spoken! Interesting world indeed! Hopefully one of these days our kids won't turn around and say that they are disappointed to have just one mother like the way some of them complain about not having a day care experience like their friends!!