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Finally...I have hope!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by kkrish, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    So many years wasted! Wasted on not one, not two, but so many solutions that were offered by friends, family, TV ads and the internet. Oh yes, I am talking about weight loss.

    Tried everything…right from starving to eating salads, to huffing and puffing… but the weight simply doesn’t seem to budge; negatively I mean.

    Mmmm, must admit that I haven’t been all that meticulous.

    I am an ordinary human being. So when I encounter delicious items like the ones Chitvish ma’am puts on her avatar the only statement that reverberates in my mind is, “Kamala, you only live once”, followed by the echoes …..“you only live once…only once… once…”. I need the echoes to convince me I live only once.

    For some unexplainable reason, every time I think this way, and this happens very frequently, I am transported to the mountains in the film Aradhana, where Rajesh Khanna begins the song,”Hey, hey….” followed by echoes.

    And “kaput”, promptly I fall off my regimen! In my dictionary the explanation for regimen is …”undergoing penance when feeling guilty”

    Even then this weight gain is so unfair. Usually I give in to my tongue’s demand and have a chocolate; just a small piece you know; well ok a whole bar! But if eating 250 gms of chocolate adds on 2500 gms of weight don’t you think it is simply unfair, unfair, unfair?! (Say it thrice and it becomes true!)

    I was discussing this puzzling phenomenon with my friend the other day and she said she knows why she’s been gaining weight too despite her strict diet and exercise. I was stunned to find out the culprit for all these years of my misery!

    Yep, it is the shampoo that I have been using in the shower!

    In an attempt to restore my short thinning hair to match Rapunzel’s I’ve been using this shampoo in larger doses too! Ye gads!

    When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and (duh!)
    Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."
    No WONDER I have been gaining weight!!!

    Out with that shampoo!
    No more huffing and puffing Meenasankaran; the moti need wait no more Satchi; and no need to trigger earthquakes from your treadmill or generate tornadoes from your hula hoop Bhargavi!
    I have now found THE “solution”!

    Move out of my way diets…move out of my way exercise machines…move out of my way ShivaChoubey!

    I am going to the grocery store!

    To get myself some bottles of Dawn dishwashing soap.
    Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

    Bye!

     
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  2. hridhaya

    hridhaya Gold IL'ite

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    Humorous post :rotfl
     
  3. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamala,
    Very enjoyable post. Your humour is "high quality"!!:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

    Oh, now, I will send you many bottles of "lavana thailam" the latest in our Indian market.
    You have to see the advt which shows how fat simply melts away once you apply it specially, all the more in our "madhya pradesh"! (secretly, I share with you - I see this ad repeatedly & I can feel that already my fat (though in miniscule traces) is already starting to melt away.
    Please do not use dishwasher soap & get into skin problems. Our own Desi Lavana Thailam is always ready to help us!!

    In malayalam "lavana" meats beauty. Besides becoming a Lavanya, what more can you ask for???
    Now that I know there is an enthusiastic audience (Just one is good enough) for my change in avatar,
    inimel vittena paar??:biggrin2:
     
  4. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Dear Kamala,
    I am also running for that dish washing soap!
    Very [​IMG]... Good collation of the catchy phrase of their advertisements!! Thanks for putting a smile on my face in the morning!

     
    1 person likes this.
  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely wonderful Absolutely wonderfulAbsolutely wonderful

    Wonderful solution Kamala. Why had it never occurred to me? And then I have been puzzling my little mind over problems created by indecisive scientists who once say that sleeping in the afternoon causes weight gain, but then not sleeping adequately in the night also causes weight gain. Not just indecisive scientists, but my biological clock which is inverted or at loggerheads with the said scientists Witsend.

    So Kamala, your "solution" (dishwshing, not shampoo - yes, I got that right) is a good idea :idea. Brilliant, I must say. Must try that one out. And Chitra Ma'am's solution of Lavanya Tailam is also worth consideration, given that VLCC and the likes sell them at a premium. Just rub it on your spare parts they say and they will do the disapperaring act. What they don't tell you is that if you leave it on your spare parts, the oil as well as the dissolved spare parts will cling onto your clothes and you will have to buy more "solutions" to clean those out.[​IMG]shakehead
     
  6. radhaparth2000

    radhaparth2000 Platinum IL'ite

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    Good way to start my day. I laughed and laughed reading your post. Very humorous. I throughly enjoyed your post.

    Now I am also heading to the grocery store :biglaugh
     
  7. namrathamorab

    namrathamorab Gold IL'ite

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    Well I am off to get the dish wash too.... [​IMG]

    [​IMG]And seriously the shampoo stuff is actually so un-thought of..!!!!

    Wonderful piece of writing....[​IMG]
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    If that soap is the way to dissolve your body fat Kamala, you wont need any excercise machines at all for it may separate body from soul. Let me make you a bit jealous. I keep watching cookery shows and working up an appetite, but ttjat does not lead to weight gain.
     
  9. Sudha Kailas

    Sudha Kailas IL Hall of Fame

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    Superb, humorous and made me roll and laugh to my heart's content !!
    So now I too can boldly tell everyone........the reason for my over weight is the "SHAMPOO".....
    Very well written Kamala and I wonder why don't you keep sharing such humour everyday so that a laugh a day can keep the doctor away !!
     
  10. malathyj

    malathyj Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Kamala

    And I was under the impression that Salads & Soups from Chitvish Maam's recipe book will do the trick.. :) hence was following that religiously.

    very humorous, i enjoyed this post.
     

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