Slap your cheeks at Dr. V!

meenasankaran · Jun 11, 2011

Over 2 weeks ago, Chennai spread her hot and humid arms wide open to welcome me warmly through her doors and just like with all my previous visits to India, I found myself in a hurry to visit Dr.V, our family physician. It is a time-honored tradition for me to go pay Dr.V a visit as soon as I get into town. I think of it as sort of like going in for a quick oil-change. One big, fat injection,a handful of pills and I usually find myself back in smooth, working condition.

Dr.V and our family go way back. He has known me ever since oral spurting became the most important daily ritual for me from the age of 3(somehow the word 'vomiting' sounds like a dirty word in a public forum). I know the black and white 'Welcome' portrait in his clinic's waiting room, not to mention the long whip of a lizard gracing its walls, as well as I know my two sisters.

For as long as I have known him, Dr.V has sported the most wonderful bald head that I have ever known. It has always gleamed like a polished granite countertop and when seen along with the thin-rimmed spectacles that is always perched high on his nose, it gives him an air of such supreme intellect. To this intellect, add a regal form of over 6 feet with a build to match that towering height and voila, you have a doctor who exudes competence, confidence and charm in equitable proportions . Just as I know that the Sun never rises in the West, I am positive that Dr.V never comes to his clinic in anything but a pair of smartly tailored slacks, a crisp full-hand shirt and a solemn tie.

A day out to Dr.V's clinic is anything but ordinary but without giving you a virtual tour of the clinic at this time, it is hard to explain why. Located just off a busy main road, Dr.V's clinic looks just like any other building in the street. Stray dogs and nomadic cows compete constantly to assert their supremacy as the uncrowned kings of the neighborhood and do their beastly best to block anyone from going through the gate. If you have the wiles to sneak between them, the long-winding entrance ramp leads to a rectangle waiting room where the norm is hard stone benches and simple cushionless straw chairs. There is no pretense of elegance anywhere in this clinic but you will agree at the end that the obsessive streamlining of the clinic's operations more than makes up for the lack of elegance.

As you climb the ramp to enter the waiting room, it pays to be agile and alert. On your march...get set...now RUN! Run like the wind! Better yet, run like PT Usha! Run to the little hole in the waiting room wall for it holds the magic key to the doc's room - your token. You don't stand a chance of seeing the doc without this token so grab the one from the top of the pile. While running for your token, if you find the mob of patients running alongside you resorting to devious methods to push you aside to reach the token stand first, don't be coy and don't be subtle. Take your elbow and aim for their ribs. After all, it is common knowledge that only the strongest survive in this world.

Ok, now you have your red token (so it doesn't quite look like red but come on, give them a break. For ones that have been in use since 1974, they don't look all that bad, do they?) and it reads 8. What do you do now? Well, if you are willing to give meditation a try, grab a seat and start practising some mind-control techniques because it will be a while before you lay eyes on Dr.V.

If my memory serves right, Dr.V has had two compounders under his payroll forever - Mr.G and Mr. B. I have never known any compounders who can wield such enormous power in a clinic. Take Mr.G for instance. Every once in a while, he will open the door to the waiting room and bellow out 3 token numbers - (for example 1,2,3) and no less than 30 people will trip over themselves to reach him with such gratitude dripping out of their eyes. It never fails to move me to see the tears of joy and gratitude in their eyes. But Mr.G is a stoic one. The many years of working under Dr.V must have given him the maturity to not take all this fawning to heart. You will see him standing firm as a soldier at the door ensuring that no one without a token passes through . As for 30 people rushing in for 3 token numbers, the math has never added up for me but the important thing is it apparently did to Mr.G.

Lucky are these folks who pass through the formidable Mr.G to enter Door#1, for their epic journey has finally started. Through this gate, they get their first glimpse of the great Dr.V. I even have vague childhood memories of folks slapping their cheeks gently in a show of reverence as they stand before Dr.V finally, just like in Thirupathi. It may be a while till they see the outside world again.

(to be continued)

Arunarc · Jun 11, 2011

Dear Meena
So perfectly described these old doc's of India.
In my native place there is a similiar doc who is very old and you have to take a token and wait for your turn to come. Even though you have taken appointment much in advance it doesn't make any difference, you have to take the token and wait for your turn to come...hahaha
So now a days in case you want your token to come 1st we give this compounder some money and that guy pockets the money and allow u to go 1st....:biglaugh:biglaugh

waiting for your next part....

Balajee · Jun 12, 2011

Oh god! I have heard of people saying doctors are gods because they have the power of life and death over us. But the cheek! slapping the cheek like before an idol! Looks like Doc V could set himself up as a Bhagwan, one of the many in the countryl Like we already have an incarnation of Vishnu making money, he could claim that he is an incarnation of Dhanvantri, the divine physician.

Kamalji · Jun 12, 2011

Dear Meena,

Welcome back after a long time, i look forward to yr blogs, but u always disappoint me, till i begin to drool saliva.:rotfl

So he is good for people eh ! And hemust be good for people to queue up to him. And u mean there is no tatkal to meet him eh ! like paying a few hundred officially to get a faster visit to the Doc. Well i beleive time is money, so the time wasted in sitting is money liost

so better pa more, visit quickly, and make more money with the time saved eh !

Win wion for both , meena ?

HAHA

Regards

kamal

waiting for the next part.

Cheeniya · Jun 12, 2011

Dear Meena,

The Never ending story that I first encountered in my life was about the adventure of Bastian Bux, the young lad who restores Fantasia to its pristine glory. It was a wonderful movie that I remember still despite so many never ending stories that I came upon in the three decades since the movie was released. My mum always told me that if ever I wished to hear a never ending story, I must ask an oldy about the state of his health! I also know that we all hold our family doctor in such awe and reverence that when we start talking about him, it will be tough to stop. You have not disappointed me. Your words ‘To be continued’ in the end poured milk on my stomach!

Family Doctors can be easily identified by the compounders they keep while others in the profession will have some voluptuous dolls as their receptionist to make sure that the patients keep coming back even if they are cured with a different ailment each time. Family Doctors have no such compulsions since they have dedicated clientele who will visit them even if the client is on a short visit from US or wherever. Again you have not disappointed me.

Doctors, I am told, select their injections depending on the size of the patient. He will not use a big, fat injection on a tiny person. He will use it only when he apprehends a possible damage to the syringe if he uses a smaller version of the needle. I can therefore understand and empathize with the compelling reasons that made him opt for the big fat injection!

You talk of Dr.V as if he was born with a bald pate. Please understand that no man is born bald. He acquires it over a period of time depending on his heredity. In this case, it may have been due to your late arrival on the scene after his heredity caught up with him that you found him sporting the most wonderful bald head for as long as you have known him. Be that as it may, I am thoroughly impressed with the way he presents himself in the clinic. This is very important. Last time when I visited a Doctor in a small town where I had fallen sick, it was difficult for an onlooker to know who the doctor was and who was the doctored! I have never understood the reason for this but the family doctors are never without a tie even if they have forgotten to wear a shirt!
(To be continued!)
Sri

Chitvish · Jun 12, 2011

Sri Sir, sorry for the interruption! :-(

Dear Meena, I award you the title
A dedicated ILite :thumbsup
since you are posting snippets even when you are on a holiday!
When I go to Madurai, the first condition my sister lays is No IL. (A stale joke by Vish - she is always yelling here ( IL which he always interprets as I yell), ask her to take a break from yelling atleast when she is there!):hide:
Period.
Well, I read your post with interest because Appa was a GP in 50's & 60's!!
He was tall, always wore white dress for work & a tie was a must. No, not bald!
When one entered his clinic, there was no token system, but always first come first served except emergencies.
There were two compounders called Periambi & Chinnambi!!
Mixtures were the order of the day then & Periambi's job was to mix them in right proportions.Chinnambi would deliver them to the patients as per Appa's prescriptions!!

Nobody slapped cheeks etc, Meena, but he was respected a lot as though he was the incarnation of Dhanvantri. I now feel, the patients were cured more because of the faith they had in the doctors & the medicines they gave.
Not like today, when people go to google & check whether the doctor has given the right medicines.Thy can as well google & find out the suitable medicines for their illness - why go to a doctor at all, if you have no confidence in him??:idea

You have given a nice "graphic" descripion Meena & I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post!!

kkrish · Jun 12, 2011

Ahoyy there Meena! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your name! I was very happy, like a wanderer in the desert stumbling on a waterhole.

Hilarious start to your serial...in typical Meena style...enjoyed it and started my Sunday with a smile...

You took me to the days of visiting docotrs who had compunders mixing those elixirs. I remember going with my grandma to one "Dr. Achari" near Purasawalkam Tank near the temple whe I was 6 years old. I remembr the trips because I dreaded the green bottle whilch would eventually carry those bitter medicines and those powders my Dad would cajole me to swallow mixed with honey!

Waiting for more....

Note: I was actually expecting your first post to make me jealous with your visits to SravanaBhavan...guess you need to get those medicines to ready your body for the Saravan Bhavan onslaughts, right?

The East Coast of USA is going thru hot spells tempered w/ thunderstorms...just in case you should remember us poor souls here sometimes...

Kamla · Jun 13, 2011

Ha ha Meena,

That was a delicious peek into our doctor's 'pharmacies' in India. Besides, you end with 'to be continued' and I am fretting that in the excitement of being in India, you many forget to continue..so hey,..here we are, still waiting!:hiya

Not only did I enjoy your post, the feedbacks were equally entertaining. If one is standing up for bald pates, the other for the doc with his tie! I join my namesake though and say I too am jealous that you are getting ready for the Saravanabhava onslaught with a visit to your doctor first. On the second thought, visit to the doctor in India seems to be on top of the list for all of us from the US, given the sorry state of health service here..but then, that's another story altogether.

Talking about compounders and mixtures took me back by few decades. I too remember my sojourns as a young girl to the neighborhood family doc. Remember waiting patiently as the compounder ground and mixed various tablets and then neatly packed them into tiny little packets/parcels for us to take home and swallow with a spoonful of honey. It was a work of an art the way he went about this grinding and mixing on his marble slab. Today, I shudder to think that the so called doctor who tended to us was originally a compounder himself, but people totally trusted in his 'kai rasi' ! :rotfl

L, Kamla

ptamil2007 · Jun 13, 2011

I was missing your posts Meena. And needless to say, you reminded me of my childhood Doctor (Dr. S). Those long waiting hours and staring at those walls and scraping those paint with those tiny fingers and trying to eat them when mom was not looking

Well, here in the GP's clinic for my son, the situation is no different. He does not take appointments and in this January-February, we paid our good share of visits to the doctor. And those long hours of waiting and a cranky sick child along :rant :rant

Srama · Jun 13, 2011

Dear Meena, I was happy to laugh reading your post as soon as I landed here - can't wait to read more! Compounder!!! Ah I had almost forgotten that word - indeed this man seemed always to know as much as the doctor if not more. Enjoyed reading the post - I know you will have us all rolling on the floor and laughing and reminding us of all our dear doctors as bring out more and more hilarious posts from your trip.

I am sure you are having fun....continue the enjoyment