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It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, May 28, 2011.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    [JUSTIFY]I would like to firstly start off with due apologies to Kamalji. Any similarity in style to his recent snippet is purely coincidental and unintentional.



    [JUSTIFY]The morning papers once again highlight some crazy stuff going on around us.
    The news paper and its local supplement (TOI, 28 May 2011) on a single day has given me double fodder for my grist mill. Some bright spark has decided to sue the AXE deodorant company because he has suffered emotional trauma caused by them. They promised him that if he used their deodorant, all the girls in the city and the surrounding country side would come flocking to him and only him. But although he has been trying it for the last so many years, nothing has happened yet and the girl next door is still blissfully unaware of his existence. Well, he did not realise, she has been taking deep breaths to enjoy the scented air. She has not yet had time enough to open her eyes and look at him.
    Crazy :crazy, we are really getting Americanised in many ways. This is just the latest evidence of the same.


    Want a pretty looking ass [​IMG]? No, I don't mean the variety that eats grass. :biglaugh Drink asses (the grass eating variety's) milk, recommend researchers from London. It apparently works wonders on the waistline is rich in omega 3 fatty acids and calcium, may be better for the heart and help keep energy levels up throughout the day. For God's sake have a heart. Spare the asses of the four legged variety and spend your research money on some less asinine topics [​IMG].


    Talking of protecting oneself from heart diseases, I have reason to take heart. [​IMG] All these years I have had a grouse against my husband. He is the most unromantic soul I have ever met. He has never taken me to a candle lit dinner for two to a restaurant, never bought me flowers and chocolates are a strict no-no. But now these asses in London, sorry researchers I mean, who blow up precious research money on the most ludicrous of topics are warning husbands against buying flowers for their wives. :crazy Their "research" shows that three quarters of females become suspicious when their husbands turn up clutching flowers - they think their man is cheating on them. (TOI, 27 May 2011). A box of chocolates would indicate that he is lying about something and a candlelit dinner could mean he has some bad news. However cakes and takeaways are safe to gift as they are free of such innuendoes. So ladies, watch out for your husband brings home. Anything other than the above two items is a cause to put up your antennae. I can now safely down my antennaae and take a nap before tomorrow's papers bring more. Will do my heart a lot of good to rest besides preparing it for tomorrow's onslaught.


    BTW, I thought I would subject my dear husband to this onslaught of onslaughts (read summing up of all the day's news). On hearing the last bit, he is having second thoughts about getting me a replacement for my dear laptop which just crashed out yesterday. :bonk:bonk:bonk

    HAVE A NICE DAY
    [​IMG]

    [/JUSTIFY][/JUSTIFY]
     
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  2. Aspire

    Aspire Gold IL'ite

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    Satchi: This had me laughing...expecially since he tried it for last so many years....:biglaugh

    Probably he should try more before he succeeds...:crazy
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    HAHA. So if a husband brings a gift home, now the wife has a reason to suspect that he is upto some mischeif eh !

    Damned if he brings and damned if he does not , so said Shakesphere , or was it Milton ?

    Only an ass will drink ass milk eh ! HAHA

    The axe effect, well in one advt they dhowed dogs running after the fellow, maybe they were females who knows, i could not make out on TV.

    Superb blog, hilarious, and i tell u, u have done paisa vasool from the 3 buck paper eh !

    HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     
  4. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha, that way I must be a reliable husband because I never gave DW flowers or chocolates. Sure there have been dinners, but no candles, only restaurants lit by electric lights. Do the researchers say something about restaurants lit by zero watt bulbs? Anyway most researchers are nuts. A team in Bangalore few years ago did a detailed study of the nose picking habits of people and won an IG Nobel for it.
     
  5. iluvpeace

    iluvpeace Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Satchi

    The deo ads are just crazy,they apply any such sorts on their body and not a moment to go they transform from a messy young man to a virile dude,of any flavor ?!

    For best results,do we have to apply in excess ?

    OMG,Iam afraid that husbands may deprive themselves off from gifting anything to their dear wives from now on,they donot know what may trigger suspicion!

    Poor Husbands,their sincerity being raised questions,& to live with a wife with a hi-fi antennae !!

    Pinky
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    But before he does that he wants to recover his expenses of the last few years and get advance on what he may need to spend in the coming years from the manufacturers. Besides who knows, if not the deodorant, at least the money may attract some girls!!!!!:idea
     
  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Kamalji, I just could not resist it when I saw these clips. :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh
     
  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely Balajee. Your reliability and trustworthyness is now above board. As for research on restaurants lit by zero watt bulbs, they will have to wait for the next round of funding. That was hilarious. They studied nose picking habits in India. They must certainly have had no shortage of subjects.:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, and poor wives like us. We have to do without gifts now if our husbands start believing such reports. Anyway this results must have been published by some guy who was fed up of shelling out money on gifts for his wife. :idea :idea :idea
     
  10. Aspire

    Aspire Gold IL'ite

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    Hmm...what an idea Satchi ji!!! :biglaugh
     

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