Life in Reverse Gear

I have mentioned a few weeks ago that I am waiting for the right kind of motivation to lose some weight. I am terrified of being fat. I have always hankered after being fit. But then as I also said, I have come to the conclusion (or should I say had come to the conclusion?), that it is better to live in tents.

Hold on, the status has changed this morning. The latest news in the paper gives me the happy news that I can change from fat to fit in no time (or almost no time) at all. All I have to do is to consider doing what I have done all my life in reverse. I am given to believe, that doing so will reverse all the accumulated sins of my life. Interesting. According to the study, runing backwards is more effective than walking forwards - it protects the joints and helps to burn the calories. "It is a more efficient way of moving - in fact, a fast-forward route to fitness" - their words, not mine (TOI, May 24, 2011). According to the study, those who stuck to the study lost 2.5 % of their body fat by the end of 6 weeks - 3 days a week. So if I may apply the law of mathematics here - I know it may not work like that, but I might as well exercise my brains along with my fingers if nothing else for a start. I can't say much about the body, but I hope I succeed in keeping my mind agile and fit. So as I was saying, that would mean 6 days a week would relieve you of the same amount of fat in 3 weeks or 5% in one and a half months. So in 20 X 6 = 120 weeks i.e. in 30 months i.e in around 2 and a half years I should have lost all the fat in my body. :wow :wow :wow How wonderful that would be!!!!! :coffee Hmm. But on second thoughts, I would first have to start practicing how to do things in reverse.

Now the next calculation. Running one lap of an athletics track in reverse provides fitness equivalent of running 6 laps forwards and 100 steps backwards produces the same benefits as going 1000 steps forwards. So does walking backwards reverse all other effects of ageing in the same ratio - that is 10 years of ageing done away in 1 year of walking backwards? Well, I now have to start to unlearn what I have learned in all these years, the first of those being walking forwards - maybe my brain will also get younger by the day - now is that good, bad or what? Helllllppppp!!!! I am going crazy. I will also have to relearn my language - I cannot say "I suffered reverses" but "I gained some reverses" given that reverse walking/running helps me lose some undesirable gains and hence gain some losses in the bargain. And you can meet a newborn Satchi in another 5 years . And that brought one more thought to my mind: what if we start teaching babies to walk backwards instead of forwards from the word "go" or should we now say from the word "come back"? They get off to a running (backwards) start, so to speak. But where do they go from there? Into the ripe old years of last life? :spin

P.S. This theory reminds me of those scenes which have become so popular in Hindi soaps when someone's wedding is breaking up and there are these flashes of the saat pheras in reverse. So status "married" changes to "single" again. :crazy

 

No time machine required dear, just run backwards. :rotfl

 

Mira, my only worry is that if we start walking backwards on the streets of India, we may soon land up competing with vehicles and other members of the public to occupy the same space at the same point in time. :biglaugh

 

Dear Padmini,

Sorry to have disappointed you on the philosophy score. Just that I need these occasional bouts of insanity to keep me sane. In order to achieve that goal, I take a mental walk, which is not necessarily forwards or backwards. Just keep it random to keep my balance (mental and physical). And of course, occasionally I do let myself loose on the unsuspecting readers. I apologize profusely for any trauma I may cause and do declare that it is purely unintentional.

Now I absolutely agree with your philosophy on exercise. Never a more logical and rational reasoning have I heard. :cheers

Thanks for the fb.