If I were you

[JUSTIFY]I receive lot of unsolicited applications from job aspirants in a day. Being a HR Head it’s not something unusual to check each cover at the end of the day. One such application took me by surprise. In the hard copy cv its was written - Dear A, Im grandson of Mr.V…….I can never forget Mr.V all through my life.

A small rewind took me to the days when I applied for a job as soon as I finished my degree. I need to attend an interview in another district. My parents planned to send me to the nearest relative to stay. After reaching there I attended interview & thought to visit another relative my mom insisted to see. You know Mr.V, he is a double degree holder in those days, and he is tall & well built, now holding a senior position, related to me in this way. My mom kept saying what all she knows about Mr.V.

I was little hesitant to knock at the door of an unknown relative. I said to myself common you are grown up, you can search the house, talk to them & walk back. I cheered myself & found the address all alone. When I stepped inside Mr.V was sitting in a chair. All the description my mom gave suited him best. He raised his spectacles & saw me from top to toe.Im daughter of So & so …I started my conversation in a feeble voice.Ok for what have you come here? I came to seek job, I have completed my degree. Actually I went to attend interview & wanted to say 'My present position is to seek job' but I wrongly conveyed it. He too must have misunderstood that I have came to stay & seek job through him! Before I could correct myself he raised his voice & said 1 degree is not enough.

Ok being a girl I will tell you an idea he said, I sharpened my ears. See nowadays idly/dosa batter business is catching up so why can’t you buy some wet grinder & sell those things. If he told that as a business proposal I would have bent &bowed to his idea but his facial expression, tone delivery made me think he is telling such things very sarcastically or rather mockingly. Go,go & do it he said. His final shouting ended our conversation.

I slightly nodded my head & stepped out. Like Gandhiji as shown in Dandhi March video clip I walked unusually fast. I wanted to control my tears, I wiped it fast. I went hesitantly but I walked out rather bravely. I had mixed emotion of anger, distress, tears, unexpected courage. I will prove myself, you can never be a double degree holder, you dint even bothered to see my certificate or made me to sit, don’t call yourself a diplomat I murmured within myself & walked fast. I thought to stay till evening to a catch the return train but I dint want to stay any further neither he was bothered to ask such details. I reached home & dint say anything about him except that we met.

Maybe that was the first unexpected insult that made me feel so serious about or was I not aware of the queue of insults that stood in my line at each stage of my life or was I not grown & thought every other man would behave like my dad & every other women would have the same qualities as that of my mother! I don’t know.

Insults are of different kinds & varying degree but whatever it might be, it directly affects our heart. There are few insults which we might forget as time passed by, there are certain which we can never overcome or that is beyond our tolerable limit!

Coming back to my senses I read the CV & seeing the permanent address & father name I confirmed it’s the Same Mr.V. I called up the candidate & he tried to explain how we were related & how he got my business card from my mom at a recent wedding. I interrupted & said I know Mr.V very well. I spoke about the vacancy in my company & its nature.Mr.V.Grandson told he will get back. I hesitantly asked how Mr.V is. He said he is ill & couldn’t get up.

Can you pass the phone I asked.Mr.V spoke very pleasantly something I never guessed. I again spoke to his grandson & gave him few other offers I know & few others courses if he wants to pursue further. As I was about to keep the phone his grandson said Thanks Ka I was very nervous, I can work hard hard but now I’m not able to put through in the right form of words.Tears filled my eyes Ya I know I was in the same situation when I started my career 8 years before.Infact everyone would have gone through what you are now. So no worries go ahead I said, wished him good luck & hanged the phone.

If we were successful we have only reason & that must be” by God’ s Grace” if we consider ourselves unsuccessful we have more lesson to learn mostly apt for others It’s not a matter of pride or the right time to feel a sense of accomplishment for me but deep down my heart I wanted to tell Mr.V that’ if I were you this how I would have handled the situation like this’.

My mom often used to quote a Tamil phrase it says “If you say ox or cow it all means the same but there is a way you say both things. Maybe if Mr.V, remembered the above phrase & said in a more polished way I wouldn’t have felt so insulted or rather deeply hurt.Even if I get a chance such as this or not, it’s possible for me & others to think in “If I were you” way before getting into the hatred zone. [/JUSTIFY]

 

Dear Satchi,
You have very aptly said it right.As we grow we need to mature enough even mentally.He dint know the repercussion that he caused.Its no way to treat a person.Be it anybody.I wish he would have changed by now.True that If you were me, you would have done same thing out of human consideration.Thanks dear for the lovely reply.