1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

On the "GRAND" relationship.....

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Mindian, Apr 17, 2011.

  1. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,346
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    I really cannot believe that I can love anyone more than my daughter. But I do have some older friends who say "just you wait… till you become a GRAND mother!"

    I have to concede that it does surprisingly seem true when I hear their stories and also see the relationship between my mom and my daughter.

    At times they go for holidays together, sans me. "Amamma is more fun and ready to let her hair down when you are not around", says my dd cheekily. OMG!!! Now what does that mean and what is my mother up to, I wonder…...

    And whenever they meet, one or two days shopping is a must with a lunch or a movie thrown in “We will go, Amamma, anyway amma holds her purse strings a little too tight for my liking” my daughter tells her in confidence. Now that is true, I admit to myself.

    And once "You have got to agree that Amamma’s Pongal, Upma and idli turn out much better than yours. "Wait till you come back home, you traitor," I mutinously think.


    Sometimes they laugh together at my freakish cleaning and my dd says with a pointed look at me "Amamma, in your house there is no rule that we have gotta eat at the table and not in front of the TV, is there?" I feel very sorry for myself thinking that no one even realizes the amount of chores I have got to do myself, here.

    Many a times both of them make me feel that they have a common enemy …Me, of course.

    My mother, in her turn, watches tennis with my DD and listens very intently when she talks about her favourite tennis player Djokovic
    This, from someone who I have to cajole to sit and watch a hindi movie with me? And it is mostly poor me who ends up enduring boring “thendral" with her.


    Once I overheard my mother asking her, what she would look out for a guy when she got married and my dd laughingly teased “Why? someone like my thatha, of course … who is the Best and does everything you say" and my mother responded with "Ohhh… then you are in for a disappointment…your thatha only pretends to hear me but does as he pleases." That really made me LOL.

    Yes, it is a unique relationship and today while penning this down, I can’t help but remember my own grandmother's reaction when I first cut my hair really short after my marriage.

    "Look at what your pethi has done amma, and that too first thing after marriage" said my aunt to her.
    My GM gave me her toothless smile and said "so what? It surely is more convenient, illaya?"
    "But, you never would have allowed one of us to do that? How come your rules change for your GD?”
    "Aval china ponnu, she looks good in everything. You people will look really silly if you try all that at your age.”

    My poor aunt gave up!!!!:)
     
    sindmani and iyerviji like this.
    Loading...

  2. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,795
    Likes Received:
    1,177
    Trophy Points:
    345
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Mindi,
    In a very effective manner you have beautifully painted the picture of relationship between a grandmother and adult grand daughter.I can feel that you are bubbling with joy seeing their intimacy.
    For grandmothers and adult granddaughters, there seems to be a correct “prescription” or “good fit” for building a strong relationship. This inter generational relationship – done right – can be both powerful and meaningful for many years. Indeed, one of the best and most remarkable components of a grandmother’s relationship with her adult granddaughter is the mutual give-and-take. What gives them the most individual satisfaction, what they are each seeking out in this relationship, the individual and different needs of both grandmothers and adult granddaughters – are the very things that the other member of the relationship is most happy to provide. It would be difficult to find a grandmother that is not interested in being on the receiving end of her granddaughter’s warmth and adoration. A pretty simple way to care for your adult granddaughter is to actually reserve some time where she can show you how much she cares for you. This is a pretty good way to care for someone else because you get to share in the benefits. In this case, the old saying ‘what goes around comes around’ is actually a pretty good thing!When I was in US I used to watch the baseball match with my grandson !!!:)Hope I will be watching cricket with Shradda when she attains her teens( me wearing jeans and T shirt!!!)
    with love
    pad
     
  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    17,880
    Likes Received:
    25,953
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Mindi,

    Nice one from you. True Mindi, this is a really unique relationship - the "Grand" relationship as you have called it. It brings to mind the relationship between my mom and my sister's daughter. At one point my niece and I used to fight about whether she was my mother or her mother :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl.

    As for the haircut, I was amused, because I got the cold shoulder from every one when I first chopped off my knee length hair when I was 16. My mom was fuming at me and it was her mother said, "So what, if she can't look after them, better she wears it short!"
     
  4. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,218
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    dear mindi

    your post reminded me of my paternal grandma too. I used to wear jeans from college days, my mom used to complaint, wear some salwars, that time my grandma used to say, it is okay she looks good in it "Ne pottuko, parvalai".

    My mom now always likes to talk to my daughter more than me, :)

    Yes grandparents and grand kids share a special relationships among them.

    enjoyed reading the post.
     
  5. nityakalyani

    nityakalyani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Mindi,
    Grand parents sometimes build strength in one's life. Reading your post I went down memory lane. When amma used to carry tales [tell] my grand pa - he would reply whom they have in life and what can they share.[ avaaluku yaar eruka ] Very true GP do leave a lasting memory on grand children and hence their relationship will always be GRAND
     
  6. gayathriram

    gayathriram Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    mindi mam,

    nicely written, you made me to remember my grandma, i was brought up by my grandma, who never made me feel the absence of my mother. i was cared and fortunate enough to have my grandma as mother.

    thank you so much mam, You made me to feel I must visit my patti immediately.
     
  7. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    33,566
    Likes Received:
    3,756
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Minds,
    You have a long way to go,Baby!!
    As a mother, one is strict & enforces discipline.
    As an ammamma, one is the personification of indulgence & who bothers about discipline??
    With two adorable as well as adoring GDs, I can vouchsafe for this statement!!
    We are more friends than relatives.
    That was why for my 70 the b day, Ruby gifted me a holiday to S'pore with my GD!! Just the two of us & we enjoyed thoroughly without Ruby & her father around, to throw jealous
    looks :biggrin2:
    Ruby always shouts at me, "amma, nee romba idam kodukkare". I reply, "you will realise when you become a grandmom!!"
    I still preserve their cards given to me from 1 st standard, with the words, 'world's best ammamma'!!
    You must see Ruby giving me a LOOK, when they say, how do you make super idlis, ammamma??
    Oh, I will go on on - so will force myself to stop!!
     
    sindmani likes this.
  8. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,861
    Likes Received:
    926
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    Very true Mindi. The rules are always different for a daughter and a grand daughter, isn't it? :cheers

    Loved your post :thumbsup
     
  9. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,555
    Likes Received:
    102
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Male
    Grandparents :cheers

    These days with nuclear families and people in different states or countries, its tougher. Those of us who grew up with grandparents in proximity really enjoyed that.

    Time with thaatha-paatti is special!
     
  10. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,608
    Likes Received:
    10,032
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Mindi
    I don't know how or why..but reading your thread I felt like I was walking through a lovely garden fragrant with the lovely colors of blooming flowers..It was that beautiful feeling; the love between grandparents and grandchildren.
    I am also witness to the same rapport between my sons and their grandparents, paternal and maternal. I am nominating this thread for it sheer beauty!
     

Share This Page