Thank You , Sorry!!!!!!

Our dear Janani and friends,

Thank you and sorry has become a mere lip service now a days.
The true value of it has to be experianced by the self ....
Once we acknowledge the goodness of others & their deeds, it's our duty to say Thanks a lot...

Sorry to be used with sensible, sober and geniune ways when the other was offended by our words, deeds and actions.

S- sincerely

O- offering apology

R- right from my heart

R- realising my mistake and truly apologising to

Y- you, with a promise to try not to commit that mistake again...

To keep our hearts and others to feel the peace...

Subbu

Janani
very nice thread. And all the replies are very good and entertaining too. yes we dont say those 2 words enough. thanks to all the posts to show the different opinions and how we all view these matterof fact things in every day life.

Well, I think I have a different point of view than many people here. I don't know whether I would be able to explain it completely or not... But I 'll try....

For instance, the thread "Golden rules for every women" starts with the first rule "The most important person in your life is YOU". Well, so, for me, I am the most important person. I help only myself. If somebody is suffering next to me, I help them only because I can n't see somebody suffering around me. I want my surrounding to be happy. Otherwise my happiness may be at risk. So by helping others, I help myself. The inner motive of helping others is helping ourself. In that case, rather than expecting a "Thank You" from others, I should offer "Thank You" to them for accepting my help.

There was an instance in Swami Vivekananda's life. For his America tour, he needed money. One of the royal person (I forget the name...) offered him all the monetary help. He was expecting some "thank you" from Swami Vivekananda. Swami Vivekananda told him that rather than expecting thanks from Swami Vivekanada he should thank Swami Vivekanada for accepting his help.

I believe in the saying "Without the grace of God, not even a single atom can move". In that case, though He made me to do something, it is only His grace. So, there is no right for me to expect thanks from others. In Bhagavat Gita, Lord Krishna says to dedicate all the works to Him. If I dedicate all the work to Him, do I have any right to expect any thanks from others?

Avvaiyar says in Tamil "Varunthi Azhaththaalum Vaarathana Vaaraa, Porunthuvana Poovendraal Pooka" - Means - whatever that belongs to us will any how come. similarly whatever suppose not to come to us will not come in spite of how we call. Say, suppose if I help somebody with 1000Rs. That means that 1000Rs is suppose to go to that person according to the above statement. I have been just an instrument. That person is divinely destined to have that 1000Rs - not me. When this thought is in the mind, there cann't be any expectation of thanks. Having said, if I am destined to receive/hear a thank you note....... Well, let us dedicate that too to God.

When we expect 'thank you' from others, that will show in our behavior. Then the other person may start uttering the words without deep feeling. Soon their words may become like a dead word. My policy is "Do n't expect it, it should come automatically from deep feelings".

There can be a very dangerous dimension in expecting thanks or anything in return. Let me talk in terms of DIL, MIL & FIL. Once I read a DIL telling that she took care of her MIL when she was ill. But her FIL never thanked her but he was all praise for his daughter. Later when he also fell ill and cann't move of his own, the DIL took care of him. His daughter did not come to help him. Here one can see the nobleness of the DIL. But at the subtle level I could feel a great mistake too. First time the DIL helping the MIL is ok, great. But when she does not recieve any thanks from her FIL, her mind might have started telling that, I helped that much but you did n't recognize me - God will teach you a lesson. How can God teach him a lesson? The FIL has to fell ill and the DIL has to help at that time. Then the FIL will learn a lesson - right?. So just by expecting the thanks, the DIL actually might have brought suffering for her FIL and to herself as she has to work taking care of him. This is just a possible way of looking at it. It may be the reason or may not be. But from the first instance if the DIL dedicate her work to MIL to God, even if her FIL fell ill, the DIL's mind need not to suffer.

Regarding the "Sorry" - I am not going to explain it in very detail. Once a person went to a Sadhu asked him to show him God. The Sadhu accepted in one condition. The Sadhu told him not to think of Monkey. The moment he think that he should not think of monkey, he is thinking of monkey. It is similar to this, it is impossible to get out of smoking/drinking addiction completely by thinking that he/she should quit smoking/drinking. My Guruji taught me to silently accept any constructive criticism without uttering any word. There might be a very subtle truth behind it. I have n't comprehend it completely. But if a word can heal the wound, I say it - but mostly without much understanding.... then go and fight with God asking why he made me do that.....

I offer all the flowers to Lord's feet. In fact I play with Him. If somebody help me/ thank me, I offer that flower to His feet. So it is His duty to do anything in return. If I happen to utter the word "Thank You" to anybody, I sigh "I should have let Him thank in a grand manner...".

Don't expect anything from others.... Demand everything from God. If I am not aware of, let Him show that he provided everything to me and make me humble. That is the mantra I want to practice.

Subbu,
What is mere lip service worth, it should come from the heart

Thanks AC for peeping in and posting. These are habits and manners that are dying fast I feel.

Senthan,
Does not mean we keep expecitng, but aren't these the most natural words to be uttered? Appreciate your viewpoint.

hi janani.
i just chanced upon this interesting post here.
well it is true that nowadays people rarely say thank you and sorry. and by not doing so, it tends to make you feel under appreciated. i know i feel that at times when i have worked really hard to do something, and in the end it just isnt appreciated. as human beings, i feel that we will always have the need to feel appreciated by others. more isnt that what make us humans?

cheers

Originally Posted by subbutr

Our dear Janani and friends,

Thank you and sorry has become a mere lip service now a days.
The true value of it has to be experianced by the self ....
Once we acknowledge the goodness of others & their deeds, it's our duty to say Thanks a lot...

Sorry to be used with sensible, sober and geniune ways when the other was offended by our words, deeds and actions.

S- sincerely

O- offering apology

R- right from my heart

R- realising my mistake and truly apologising to

Y- you, with a promise to try not to commit that mistake again...

To keep our hearts and others to feel the peace...

Subbu

subbu ji,
you have captured the essence in the meaning of sorry.
beautiful.


cheers