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on 'depression...'

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by aminroop, Jan 15, 2011.

  1. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    You don’t know how it is to be ‘depressed’ until you have actually experienced it.


    I say this because like so many others I have said many a time “ oh, I’m so depressed” without actually knowing what it really means. Somehow, ‘depressed’ has replaced ‘sad’ in our lexicon. And I kept saying it for years. Until, somewhere in my mid-teens, I understood what it really was to be depressed. Because i was diagnosed as clinically depressive at that time.

    It was terrible. believe me.

    There were days when I would just sit down and then feel as if my feet were nailed to the ground. There were days when I would feel too hollow. There were days when I would feel so murky and heavy inside that I could hardly exhale. There were days when I would stress myself out while even thinking of performing the most mundane of tasks. There were even days when I found even simply existing to be extremely stressful. There were the nights when a stray comment would leave me questioning my existence and leave me curled up on the floor in tears. There were nights when I would just lay wake till morning, all because I dint want to wake up….


    A lot of people are skeptical about this ‘depression’. Only a few actually believe that this sadness could be a illness. But as strange as it may sound, depression is indeed a disability… only that, you need to feel it disabling you, to know that.


    P.S : I was in a strange mood when I wrote this. Excuse me if it ‘depressed’ you as well.:)
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2011
  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    hi poornima,

    i shall risk sounding like one of the "maniacs" that kamalji has talked of in one of the threads :)

    i too went through a depression from the time i was in the 12 th std. and it went on for a really loooooooong time. it was really far from pleasant. in addition to the feelings of lack of motivation you have talked about, i used to worry endlessly about everything under the sun, was extremely touchy about anything anyone said to me, to the extent that my self-esteem took a real bashing :bonk:bonk:bonk. i had a nag in my head who just would not shut up. i reached a point where i was never at peace, and found it really difficult to even live with myself :drowning. i used to keep having some nagging physical complaints, but all would be written off as psycho-somatic. basically a lot of it was because i wanted to study medicine but did not make the grade. that came as a big blow to me and i was unable to deal with it.

    but as they say "every cloud has a silver lining". the silver lining here was that i had to learn to deal with disappointments early in life and that stood me in good stead later on in life. besides, now whenever i find myself slipping into one of those phases, i am able to recognize it immediately, pull myself up and divert myself - be it talking to a friend or to my family on phone, watching telly or reading a book. it is now nice to have so many friends to share things with.

    so smile girl, dress up nicely, go to the theatres or the shops and pamper yourself good and proper!:cheers

    hey, i love your signature.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2011
  3. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    thanx satchi for the quick fb.

    i wrote this really long ago, for myself. just that i posted it now.:)

    actually wanted to try writing on a serious topic. thats why.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2011
  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    well, why ever not. life is not just an endless :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh story. there are so many aspects to it. why should one shy away from any one of them? i have started quite a few threads on serious topics, but get hardly any responses. i can only conclude that either my way of writing is very heavy, or the topic is too controversial, heavy, or cliche, or people just don't have anything to say regarding those topics.

    you have done a good job.
     
  5. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Poorni,

    I know what you are talking about. Its not just a word to me, and totally not skeptical about it.

    I like the Nobody is perfect phrase you have too.
    I thought you were talking about me there :)
     
  6. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Nice to raise this subject. perhaps you can add how it is treated. By the way, u ressemble the TV actress who plays the part of lavanya in Thendreal serial.
     
  7. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    thanks for the fb mr parker! btw, whose the actress in ur avatar nw??

    and about my signature...glad that u and satchi like it.:)
     
  8. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    thanks raji!

    and i'm sorry, i have absolutely no idea who u r talking about...:hide: do i take it as a compliment or...??:)
     
  9. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    thanks satchi!:):)
     
  10. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    The word 'Depression' depresses me :shaking:

    Satchi, it took me almost 7.5years to come out of this depression. Finally I'm out just a month ago :)
     

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