All ZZZ Well !! Really?

[JUSTIFY]
I went to attend my niece wedding. I always like to be in the midst of a wedding celebration. My mood was in upswing unlike as a dead battery. My cousin sister was very surprised to see me coming early. After indulging in food section I rolled up my sleeves to be of some sort of help.Ya sometimes I do physical work for my mental satisfaction & to check whether my body spare parts are in utmost good condition. I was busy following my sister & sharing her work.

Her FIL who was a lecturer called me to give some lectures. I named him dalda mama. He never gets to the point & sticks like a dalda.Somehow he made me clear that there is seminar in this weekend about disaster management. It was a catchy topic & I have the habit of listening to lectures of various topics so I thought to enroll & collect some details from him. He told me to get back after I finished my assigned chores.

I kept dividing my sister work as I grew too close I noticed too many things & as usual my brain got activated. She kept welcoming the entire guest but not her co sister.Oh the Co sister on the other hand avoided establishing eye contacts with sister.Oh I shrugged my shoulders & felt it’s a matter of internal politics that lasted more than the Kurushetra. No no don’t divert yourself & concentrate on what you do I repeated that to myself. Her co sister whom I named Reuters called me. Before everybody she would update herself. She called me to ask about my sister’s plan for the wedding. I felt little embarrassed as Im updated with the menu only. Somehow I feeded her with the little details. Then came her SIL, same thing was repeated. Her SIL kept groaning about the accommodation. Again I attempted to pacify Silly Lilly SIL. Her MIL on the other hand demanded respect for too little things. This time I couldn’t control & sneaked a little time of my sister to know. Oh leave them came my sister’s reply. I don’t care if they don’t speak with me.Im not bothered. So are they I said to myself! All zzz well even without them. Her reply raised my eyebrows. All zzz well! Really? I turned quickly towards my niece who was standing alone in the Dais. There is no one to wipe her sweat, no one to adjust her dress, no one to tease, no one to say marriage is a new beginning of life, no word of caution about her in-law. She stood all alone with her gifts & gifted car, utensils & home appliances. My sister felt making her life comfortable with materialistic things is what is all needed & that would make her happy & sufficient! What a narrow & dead end thought?!!

I remember that I was the touch up girl for most of my cousin’s marriage. I remember I was the one for her mom too. I remember we all used to cry & run behind the car for half a kilometer when any of my cousin sisters got married. My cousins always have a little place in their heart for me.

I went to ask my dalda mama whether disaster management is for natural calamities & not for the calamities that happens in our house. Does anyone take seminar for that? He laughed loud hearing that.Hey common girl it happens in every house & it happens from generation to generation. What? I felt little dizzy. From generations to generation Co sister, Sil & Mil relationship remains strained relationship. It’s every exceptional case where all three relationships sailed successfully he added. Any two will team up whenever necessary he cautioned.

But noticing little closely all three & my sister were carving for some sort of attention or recognition but were ready to bounce & ignore the other if they got a chance. She is not good to me then why should I be good to her? It’s too hurtful to know that this pattern of behavior is repeated for too many years. Because the co-sister’s doesn’t speak well & get along, their husband’s too remained helpless & cut short their trips to each other brothers house. They covered a face mask that they are officially all the time busy & avoided as much as get-togethers within the family. His parents who shuttled with their sons & Dil’s got entangled with their wordily wars & finally went to settle in their native. That again raised another issue & became a debate topic of who is contributing how much. From silliest things they kept building brick by brick &raised a wall between each & other now.

All the co-sisters, Sil, Mil aleast had a goodtime for few years before the curfew begin but their children are worst affected. They don’t know their first cousins. They keep hooked to the iphones & wanted to interact in social networking site. One of my niece’s cousin told me he liked getting along & knowing people. But when I ask how many cousins he has totally he says well I have not spent much time with them & counts in air for the answer. So keep tweeting until you find that the others persons who has the same grandpa & grandma as that of yours! Oh I would be surprised to know that came his reply; ya so would be your grandma & grandpa I said.

We wanted to give everything best to our children but will it be ok to spend half or even their full life of theirs with gizmo gadgets, foreign degrees, stocks & shares for your children.Dont they need a one more hand for ring a ring a roses, a catcher to play hide & seek, a robber to become a police, a lovely hand to tie a rakhi, a person in the back seat to peddle in their first chariot - their cycle, a person to advise which course to join, a person whom made us their pet, a person who became our permanent advocate & arbitrator between our parents. There are too many things to share & feel lovely having a cousin. But everything is devasted & left just because of a silly ego’s between their mothers & a bridge that got shattered forever.

We are not Mahatma’s neither Mother Teresa we have our own tolerance limit with other individuals. True. It’s natural to have difference of opinions within the family but why are we passing it to our children? Your co sister may not be good to you but she can be a better person to your child, same with you. Same with your Sil.We cannot spend our life in correcting others & tuning them according to our wish. That can never happen even in trillineum.But we can send our children as little butterflies to their garden, a drizzle which cools them.

I remember when once I repeatedly complained about my aunty doing injustice to me but adding 3 spoons of boost in milk to her daughter & 2 spoons only daily for me. My mother could have easily told your aunty is like that & I told you not to go to her house for vacation but instead she said my cousin is weak so 1 extra spoon might be needed for her. I believed that lie. Keep your grudge, good hate, don’ts with you; children have everything on their own. Later my aunty became my embroidery guru by teaching everything she knows & she still cherishes a pretty awful hankie which has my embroidery. If <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1lace>Rome</st1lace></st1:City> was not built in a day so is a relationship. I cannot expect my MIL to call tomorrow & say how are darling? Neither I wanted a heart attack so early! Its takes time & perseverance to be her darling.

Disaster Management for our own home has to be focused, cultivated, followed before we build a fence & keep the cousins on the other side & brainwash them & make them feel it’s natural to live life that way by watching a cousin grow at a distance. They are all from the same roots & they cannot be treated like bonsai plants. So let them stop downloading what is team work, what is love & life, what is fun & how to de stress, get hooked to social networking sites for longing to have a real friend. Let them spread their wings & fly to whichever tree they wanted.
[/JUSTIFY]

 

Thanks Mindi for your fb.Ya as you say why spoil innocent minds:bonk

 

Dear Aruna,
Many thnaks for you fb,nomination & constant encouragement.Yes Mindi like you has understood the essence of what Im trying to convey.
A very Happy Deepawali to you & other Ilites.