1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Wisdom At First Wail!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ShailRaghuvansh, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. ShailRaghuvansh

    ShailRaghuvansh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    436
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    Sulekha and I have been friends from the time we ran about in our knickers. We are familiar with one another's tastes, dislikes everything. We have grown up together. After Sulekha completed her graduation she got married. Later, I got married too and both of us became busy with our married lives. I have always known my friend to be the extrovert kind. She needed everything to be 'loud', be it her dress, her nature and even music that she loved so very much. Many a time I would ask her to listen to music softly but she had her tastes. No wonder then, when I met her after a gap of about four years I was shocked to find a more sober Sulekha. Gone was the loud, rebelling girl.

    "Shail" she exclaimed, "People have become so insensitive nowadays!"
    "Why? What is the matter?" I asked of her surprised that SHE was broaching such a 'sensitive' topic.
    "Every time I try to put my little baby to sleep somebody slams the door or presses his car horn."
    "Sulekha, it could all be a co-incidence too."
    "Co-incidence or not but it really is an ear sore. Take the elections that went by. The sound of crackers just did not let my poor baby to sleep."
    I smiled within because it was this very Sulekha who loved bursting crackers at all odd times. Babies would have been sleeping even then. But, that was another Sulekha.

    How many of us are like that! Our desires, our necessities come first. Let the next door neighbour go to hell. That is our attitude most of the time. Like when family members decide they have to have a quarrel. On full volume that too! Neighbours definitely have a right to their little peace. After all, who wants to be part of somebody else's mess? But no! Listen we must. I have known of a case right within the colony where I lived once where a husband and wife would quarrel time and again. And, they belonged to very good families, community and status wise. At first, only loud voices would be heard. Then, the background music would begin. Noises of plates and pans being thrown would be heard. By this time, everybody in the colony would be awake and aware. Not satisfied to be confined within the walls of their home the couple would come onto the street and hurl abuses at one another. Any intervention would only aggravate the warring persons. So, left to their own devices, after about half an hour's tirade the quarrel would come to an end by itself and the couple, exhausted would retire for the night. How this whole episode leaves the neighbours is just overlooked.

    That is not all. Some people have the audacity to approach you and wonder aloud as to how you can carry on living such 'boring' (not peaceful, mind you!) lives.
    "You definitely must be having some communication problem," they say. As if to say, throwing pots and pans and indulging in a public mud slinging match was the only legal and right way to communicate!

    Coming back to my friend Sulekha, I was wonder struck by the change in her. But then, there was no need to feel so. After all, I am a mother too. And, I know myself how sensitive I had become to tiny sounds when my baby was a little bundle. The sound of a car starting. Children screaming and running on the road nearby. The tap running. People sending off their friends with their innumerable 'byes' late in the night (I used to do that earlier. It used to give me great pleasure once upon a time to keep talking into the night even as the guests were seated in their car ready to leave!). I found it all immensely irritating later.
    'Can't they finish off with 'byes' and 'tatas' in the four walls of their home itself?' I used to mumble below my breath as I lay tending to my disturbed baby.

    So many other things go unnoticed and unobserved when we are absorbed with our own little joys and sorrows. I remember Sulekha in her loud dress style whenever she came home or went to college.
    "There's no point in being one with the crowd" was the common refrain from her side.
    "But, becoming the centre of all attention only invites unwanted stares and glares" I used to argue with her then.
    "So what?" she would glare back at me. "It's all a matter of taste and style. You like to merge with the crowd and submerge with the wave. I like to ride on top of the wave" she would state.

    When I recollect all that, I realize now that tastes, desires and the manner in which they are expressed only help a person deal with his/her inner turmoil and conflicts. By just observing how people behave in public, whether they are meek or aggressive, rude or polite, tasteful or tasteless one gets to know the nature of a person. As far as I am concerned, I can analyze my slow going nature to the fact that as the second of a family of two girls and one boy, I was more an introvert. Left to myself most of the time I devised my own little methods of survival. And these revealed themselves in my behaviour and how I expressed myself.

    With Sulekha too it must have been the same. She is an only child. She had always been encouraged to be independent and that included having one's own desires and expressing them frankly. No wonder then, many a time, in the processing of expressing herself or her needs she would become insensitive to the feelings of others. It was only when she was entrusted with the responsibility of taking care of her child did she realize the importance of others' needs too. Of course, this does not mean we need to become mothers to become more sensitive. There ARE women whose adrenaline shoots up the moment they become mothers! But, that is another issue all together.

    Sulekha had come home to visit me for a few moments but she stayed on for an hour as we flash backed to all the silly things we had done when we were younger.
    And, do you know what this woman who had always felt growing older only meant too many wrinkles and the loss of a year of one's life told me before she left?
    "Actually, Shail, I feel happy to be growing older. In fact, I find myself more at peace with the growing years."
    Then, all of a sudden, with her baby looking strangely at her young mother on the bed beside her, Sulekha stood up, putting on that old familiar strutting gait said, "Who knows? Maybe, maturity shows on my face making me more beautiful?"
    For one moment both of us looked at one another without batting an eyelid. The next moment, both of us burst into peals of laughter. And yes, I could see her little daughter smile too!:)
     
    Loading...

  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    34,587
    Likes Received:
    28,749
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Shail

    Good one. Many people change after the baby is born and their world is the baby and baby's sleeping time is the time when they can have rest. So get irritated when someone makes noise at that time

    love
    viji
     
  3. ShailRaghuvansh

    ShailRaghuvansh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    436
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji,

    That was quite a fast terrific response.

    Thanks

    Nice Day
    Shail
     
  4. indranitalukdar

    indranitalukdar New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Great write-up Shail!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2010
  5. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,521
    Likes Received:
    1,436
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    We always change Shail...from our attitudes towards life, our interests, our tastes, our looks too as we age. If that comes with maturity...it is a bliss..otherwise it is :spin for people around us.
    Sometimes this maturity comes when we are the recipients of such things which we once thought as normal, isn't it!

    sriniketan
     
  6. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,795
    Likes Received:
    1,177
    Trophy Points:
    345
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Shail,
    A wonderful post presented in a nice manner.
    When you mention about the quarrel about the couples I recollected the scene, that used to happen in our neighborhood. The reason for this sort of behavior, according to me must be this.
    The vast majority of people, including society as a whole, once generally reacted to circumstances, and the environment around them, based on the values that they had been taught—based on ethics, principles, morals, beliefs, integrity and overall character. This meant that people once viewed matters based much more on right versus wrong, good versus evil, proper versus improper, wise versus unwise, and even law versus sin.[​IMG]
    Sadly, even tragically, a regard for values of almost any kind now carries very little weight in the thinking of most in the world. Today, hurt feelings, emotions and perceptions have become much more important—have been given much greater credence in people’s thinking—than at probably any other time in human history.
    So moved to read about your friend's behavior!!
    Motherhood changes many things for a woman. The changes occur physically, emotionally and psychologically. Many changes are for the positive.You nurture, love, and care for your child from the depths of your heart. Somehow it almost seems built into us; the way we hold our baby, we weep with them, we run to them when they cry, we rock them to sleep, we light up when they smile.
    You feel validated as a woman. You sense becoming a mother is the purpose of a woman (which in fact is what we were created for).
    You have a different outlook on life and relationships. You will find that as a mother; your sense of value has increased and you desire to give that all to your child.Thank you for the wonderful post !!! Sorry for the long feed back !!!
    with love
    pad
     
  7. incarnation

    incarnation Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    32
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Shail ,

    It was good one..So now you know how that nagging Aunty looked when you played..Also now you know why that nagging aunty looked like that.... :)

    -inc
     
  8. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    676
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Shail,

    Life is all about change and I have noticed many of us become better human beings when we marry / children come into our lives.

    Enjoyed your post.

    Love,
    Usha
     
  9. ShailRaghuvansh

    ShailRaghuvansh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    436
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Indrani,

    Great to find you here. Just a flashback into the past.

    Nice Day
    Shail
     
  10. ShailRaghuvansh

    ShailRaghuvansh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    436
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Bhargavi,

    I agree. Change is the next best meaning of life. Some of us accept it while others don't. And yes, change need not always bring with it maturity.

    Nice Day
    Shail
     

Share This Page