Jeans NOT allowed for Daughter In law..

Dear Incarnation,

Yes! Still people are like, If the daughter wears , it is a trend and if the DIL wears it turns to a shameful act.

But my in laws are good,they never mind me wearing jeans , skirt etc.

 

Dear incarnation,

It astonishes me to read such posts when I think that the society has moved forward and no longer is governed by dogmatic practices.These kind of posts jolt me back to reality.Now I do not know which one portrays the ethos of the current Indian society.Is it the one you are writing about or is it the one I recall before moving to alien lands ?

I often get confused and question myself if I grew up in such an insular manner as I can't empathize on any of the things as I cannot relate to them.Do not take me wrong but something as wearing jeans is still debatable in households ? I would have tagged this debate in the 60's & 70's time line with my understanding of the phenomenal growth in the cultural aspects of Indians.

That was a very insightful post with unwavering undertone throughout questioning the role, choice and freedom of women.Would love to see more of your fiery writing :thumbsup

 

What century is she living in and what planet? At least with jeans as you said, all parts are covered. I used to have a relative that was very opposed to western dressing. Some of the comments she would make would really astonish you. Today you see her grandaughters walk around half clothed.

Oopall

 

Dear Incarnation
It surprises me that such partial rules still exist but at the same time it does not surprise me as well because like you said there are still some of us stuck in a time bubble of sorts. Any dress if worn decently looks good on you. I personally am not a saree person but I feel it is the most elegant costume if draped sensibly.

My first birthday after the wedding, at my in-laws' home and the birthday gift my inlaws decided on was to get me my first pair of jeans! It was their way of seasoning me as I would be moving to a land where one in a salwar kameez could invite more stares from the crowd when the idea is to try and melt into it. Although the scenario has changed quite a lot here in reality. I never used to wear anything other than salwar kameez prior to getting married. Not even a long skirt. Jeans felt so uncomfortable first and I felt "naked". It was just a matter of getting used to it. By the time it was time for me to leave to Australia, I had stitched myself a couple more pairs of jeans. And now I am of the opinion that there is nothing more comfortable than a pair of jeans.

Sorry that I got carried away a bit here. Keep your posts coming.

 

For all those who think only inlaws will make big issue about jeans...here is a situation and I am the eye witness. We went to the coldest city along with my sister and her inlaws and during that visit, we went to a near by temple. As it was too cold, we all were wearing jeans. No traditional stuff as it was below zeros there. Everything went well. But after my sisters inlaws left for India, my BIL one day picked up this topic of my sister wearing jeans to temple infront of me and my husband. I was ASTONISHED first reason was I had a question whose thought was it..is it his or his parents??? and moreover how can you expect a girl to wear a saree or salwar in below zero temps. His own mom was having the worst time of her life in a saree but as his mom cant wear jeans, she had to be in saree(I have seen someof the MILs wearing jeans so I am just relating to that).my BIL nagged my sister so much infront of us that I just had to get up and walk out of the room as I couldnt take it anymore. As per him a DIL wearing jeans to a temple or wearing jeans infront of inlaws is disrespecting inlaws

If the husband himself acts wierd, how can we blame inlaws for thinking that wearing jeans is wrong..atleast they are from older generation. What about the man? atleast he belongs to the current generation or to the generation which we belong to?

 

I love this quote. It would make a great T shirt slogan.. which can be worn over jeans.:rotfl.

 

Both my mom and her mom select some really cute clothes for DW, so she is lucky they have good taste

But yes it is TRUE that some colleges in India (incl. metros like Chennai, Hyderabad etc) ban jeans - thats a shocker. Luckily I didnt have to attend draconian places like that.

 

It is all about power play. How much control do I have over these human beings? How much can I push them down before they will rear up in protest? Change has been long overdue in our society and just when I see a change happening in front of my eyes and heave a sigh of relief, I hear another like this.

I am so fortunate to have a wonderful woman as my MIL. Even though she belongs to the old school of thoughts, she has always tried her best to meet us (me and my co-sister) halfway and that only makes me want to bend her way some more. Harmony is a two-way street, a fact that seems to elude some families. Sigh......

 

I used to wear all modern dresses right from school days. College was no exception till the "no jeans" rule crept in. My ILs knew about my dressing before marriage. They never said anything though. BUT I wore only chudi at home and sarees to outings (temples, relatives.. etc) during the initial period. Nobody forced me, but I just guessed my ILs will like to see me in saree/chudi than jean/skirt given their background and the rural native place.

Then we had to leave that town for his work. I was back to all modern wears since DH liked them too. But when we went back to our native, there was this one Evening, DH had plans to take me in a 2 wheeler for the 1st time. He felt I better sit with legs on each side. I felt very uncomfy to sit like that with the chudi, so I opted to wear jeans. He said a blunt NO. :hide:

I just went to my MIL (by then MIL and I had a good foundation between us) and complained, "Amma, He is not letting me wear jeans. I used to wear there.. can I here too?.. pls pls you tell him ma.."

And YES my DMIL 'ordered' my DH. He immediately said with a smile, "sarimma. sarimma. ethavenalum pottuka sollu" (okma, okma.. let her wear anything) .:biglaugh

So sweet of her!
But now for some reason she is not comfy with the same.. so I have decided to go back to chudis during my stay with her henceforth.. She respected my feelings. Now it is my turn.