Menstruation.Is it a curse or a matter for rejoicement,my dear?-My Diary-5

My sister in law ie my elder brother’s wife, came to my house yesterday to invite me for a special puja to be conduced in their house the next week.My brother’s son is getting married in ten days.This puja is held to invoke the blessings of the women as suhagans,we call them in the south as sumangalis.Doing this puja is a must before conducting any auspicious function such as a marriage,bangle ceremony etc in our family.

“I know that you won’t be able to make it ,mythili.But it is my duty to invite you and the bride and the groom need your blessings”said she.

Then she said,”Oh,dear.I forgot,I have to ask my daughter whether she has started taking the tablets for postponing her period,you know.She told me on the phone that her period would coincide with the puja date and I told her then only, to start taking the tablets atleast a week before the function.She is the daughter of the house and she has to be present for the puja,no?”

My manni left.My thoughts as usual took me forward and backward in its routine journey.I remembered the day I attained puberty while I was in school.My friends noticed and informed the class teacher,the teacher bundled me up,and escorted me home herself.My mother made me sit separately for ten days,yes,ten days and on the tenth day,I was given oil bath and was allowed inside the house.Till then where was I ?In almost all households there was a tiny room and the womenfolk of the house, who had their periods stayed in this room only.In the nights, the mother ,an aunt or a cousin would come and sleep in the room with the woman who had the period.This took place in all the Brahmin families,I just don’t know about the others.
So I was also asked to stay in that room only and my mom would finish all her kitchen work in the night and would come to that tiny room so that I was not alone.

Everymonth, this was repeated and I was very happy about staying in that tiny room because I need not have to do any household work ,food and snacks were brought to my room.I could read all the story books that I could lay my hands on and if this happened during holidays,wow,life was fun for me for three whole days.

Ok,now I will come to the not so funny aspect of these special three days.Those days sanitary pads were unheard of(1957/58).We girls used soft cotton cloth,cotton roled and covered with cloth etc etc.It was very difficult for girls,having to go to schools and colleges during this period.

Times have changed,now Very convenient sanitary pads are available at affordable prices,to suit the purse of girls belonging to all strata,even maids use sanitary pads only,praise the lord for small mercy shown to the womenfolk.


But the question that keeps popping in front of my mind is,have all the other inconvenient and disturbing things associated with this period business, changed or disappeared to make life better for the womenfolk?In my days as a girl,I had to sit in the tiny room for three days,I was not allowed to touch any one .If by mistake anyone of the family came near me ,or touched me ,that person had to have head bath before being allowed to touch anything in the house.


Slowly things might have changd in several households.They don’t have to sit in a tiny room ,they are allowed access to all the nooks and corners in the house but,puja room?Oh,No,dear, Entering the puja room during periods is blasphemy.
women are not allowed to sit for pujas,attend pujas,light the lamp in the puja room during their periods.


But why?I have no concrete answer to this fundamental question.Women,mostly grand mothers and MILs only insist that womenfolk at home should not attend pujas,marriages and other functions if they have their periods at the time.So,they ask the daughters and DILS and sometimes mothers as well to keep swallowing harmone tablets to postpone their periods, to enable them attend functions.Those who swallow these tablets must be knowing the side effects they have,girls get head aches,they feel vomiting sensation,they feel giddy sometimes ,the side effets may change from person to person ,but the evil effects are bound to follow.
Here I have to tell you that as a young woman I used to have these tablets very often sometimes for even ten days at a stretch,our family being big and some function or other would be happening therough out the year.

I can hear you asking,so what is he big deal?The big deal my dear, was that I suffered when I was hardly 43 years old and my gynae said it was menopausal problem and she also said ,after talking to me at length ,that in all probability my getting menopause at that young age was due to regular use of the harmone tablets to postpone periods.
Almost all womenfolk in our house have had tough times, mainly due to the intake of these tablets.

My niece who is a healthy girl in all respects,began to have very severe bleeding during those days.Her gynae warned her that if she did not stop intake of these tablets ,she may have to face severe health issues and she has totally stopped using them,puja or no puja.

Doctors also say that use of these tablets may lead to cancer.
In rare cases benign liver tumours and even more rarely, malignant liver tumours have been reported in users of hormonal substances such as the one contained in PRIMOLUT N. These tumours may lead to internal bleeding. (google result)

My appeal to the mothers in particular .God is our mother and God is our father.He only created the universe and the beautiful being called woman.When a girl attains puberty,it means that from being a girl she has become a woman,a lovely woman.God has bestowed the greatest of gifts on her that she is ready ,her body is ready to don the mantle of motherhood.What a great honour!So let us feel happy for her,let her not feel sad that during such and such days ,she would not be able to attend pujas and functions.Do you really think that God would mind one of his master pieces to be shut away and not allowed to participate in a puja just because he has made her a woman in the truest sense of the word?

Do you feel that a woman becomes a demon or an evil force duing her period that she is not fit to attend a puja?Do you think that a woman becomes so tainted during those days, that even her blessings and good wishes become tainted and hence she should not attend marriages and other auspicious functions?Isn’t that notion silly ,my dear!
My dear woman,rejoice in the fact that you are a woman,allow your daughter,your daughter in law ,help them rejoice that they are women,they are mothers,or are fit enough to become mothers.Your happiness is in your hands and so also their happiness.You set the motion and they will follow you.







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No,dear.They don't have the concept that women who have their periods should be isolated.
love
mithila

 

Dear Iswarya,
Yes,as you have said changes will happen,but it depends on the attitude of the younger generation.They have to be firm,they should see to it that in their homes women are not ostracised during their periods,they should spread healthy awareness among their family members.

love
mithila

 

My dear viji,
Thanks for your prompt fb.
We did have a tough time,didn't we?Fortunately our grand daughters will not face any difficulty when they grow up.By that time,hopefully society would have really grown up and would have untied the ugly chains called old notions that bound them and made progress difficult for them.

love
mithila