Enforcing Money power on Kids

Money power at a young age:icon_frown:

Friends,

I feel it has become a trend to pass your money power to kids… Now what is money power??

Most of the parents seem so unsure about the future of their own children that they try to empower it with their own financial status.

Parents often tell their kids about their financial status worried that they may befriend or marry a person below their status.

Valuating property, ornaments and other investments, showing bank balance, fulfilling all their wishes, taking their opinions for vital decisions and trying to fill the minds of the growing innocents that their parents are mightier than sword and can scale mountains with money has become the trend of the day.

Friends, I have seen most of the children in their adolescent age have lost their innocence. :mad:

Few have spoilt the mind of the little hearts by filling with poisonous information’s like only parents who cannot afford a good future for their kids force them to study further and let them take up a job. Capable parents only give them the foundation and get females married off and males get to inherit their dads business. To learn the nuances he need not go for any PGDM’s but just sit with his dad and understand the business.

I have heard few kids even say, “ Naukri is like Gu ka Tokri (basket of shit). It only smells”. Such statement from kids of age group 10 – 14 is not a good sign of proper upbringing. They speak very rudely to their servants and always have an air about them.

It is quite amazing to listen to their gossips. The other day a child in the age group of 7-9 just happened to tell me that one of her neighbour is showing off by saying that they went to Simla for their vacation. Further, the kid explained her statement to me, till date she has not seen them going out for dinner or lunch, nor have seen them wearing good clothes, nor do they have the money power like them then how can they afford to go to Simla. They must have just gone to Matheran and returned.

Another kid asked one of my friend how does she manage to spend time at home like a widow. They go for movies, theatres, malls, parties, hill stations and by car and wear new dress every time with matching accessories. :mad:

Whom to blame… parents or children???

I asked one of the parents why do they enforce money power?? Pat came the answer, to tell them that their dad is the mightiest and nobody can match him.

This is no joke but a matter of serious consideration. Are parents leading their children to hell hole?

Dear Mals,
What you have written is sadly true & reflects on today's upbringing in many though not all families.
But if the parents are highly affluent, this is definitely inevitable, somewhere along the line !
Why, other children, my own kutti grandson asks me,
Ammamma, we have two cars in our house. Why do you have only one car?
My son & DIL immediately spring up to shut his mouth, in embarassment.
I think, we sometimes find the innocent queries of children also, in a serious note. We should not encourage children to talk in any particular way, but just keep a watch & gently correct them.
The woes of modern life, not modern children, I feel.
Love,
Chithra.

Hi Mals,
I have seen this happening all around me and the best example is the birthday parties that are hosted these days, which are no short of weddings. Children come under peer pressure and they think it is fashionable to match up to their friends. Like somenone I know took her son to a birthday party when the kid had a stomach infection and after the outing he became more ill, Alas!!!!!! Sensible parents can and will put them in place. Otherwise like you said they will be led to the hell hole.

HI Mals,

Indeed shocking to read about this current trend happening in India. Am not so sure about the US. Am sure it must be there in the rich and famous. But in my circles( all of them are Indians) , the kids I know ( all in the age group of 6 to 18 are pretty responsible, focused on their future and it definitely does not involve easy money . They all know what they want to be, which college they want to go too and how to finance it without help from parents.There is no comparison about who has how much money or where they went for a vacation.
I do hope parents wake up and realise their mistakes before it is too late.

Do write more pieces like these. Are you a child counsellor by any chance?
May be we should move this into the parenting forum so it gets noticed more.

Vandhana

Mals,
I felt so hard at heart after reading your post. Started thinking about it. Will post a second reply as soon as I feel better to give you the correct one.

Originally Posted by Vandhana

HI Mals,

Indeed shocking to read about this current trend happening in India. Am not so sure about the US. Am sure it must be there in the rich and famous. But in my circles( all of them are Indians) , the kids I know ( all in the age group of 6 to 18 are pretty responsible, focused on their future and it definitely does not involve easy money . They all know what they want to be, which college they want to go too and how to finance it without help from parents.There is no comparison about who has how much money or where they went for a vacation.
I do hope parents wake up and realise their mistakes before it is too late.

Do write more pieces like these. Are you a child counsellor by any chance?
May be we should move this into the parenting forum so it gets noticed more.

Vandhana

Vandhana,

Thanks a lot for appreciaing my thread. You can move the thread in to the parenting forum. I am a counsellor for all here in Mumbai - young to old... Born agony aunt.......... cant help.......... in born.............

Hey Mals........
Indeed u had written a nice post........but its sad to see this kind of behaviour among little minds.
I had several of this kind of experience...don't know its only the parents fault or the surroundings has been changed.
I want to cite one example from my family only.......I have my maternal cousin and he is his only child and youngest in our whole family.
Uncle has plenty of money, although he never showed off his money power but indirectly my cousin is affected by this so called money power.......
He will choose his clothings......and he is so small and he has already developed interest in things like Bikes/Imported goods........I sometimes feel bad for him........why he happened to be like this while we were never behaved like him before........I remember in my childhood days, my mom used to make the monthly budget for us (me and my brother), and if our expenses will go beyond the budget we ourself will ask mom that Ok, lets wait for next month for this kind of expenditure.......
But kids of this generation, they just need everything outrightly.....wait and understanding like words are non-existent in their Diction.........
I think this is also the responsibility of today's education system in which the school used to ask kids to buy everything even if its a SUPW project in which children has to do everything by themselves without much wastage of money.....
And parents feel ashamed to tell their kids abt their financial status.....they will hide the crunch and suffer by themselves and on the other hand their kids will waste their hard earned money........
I remember our mother telling us that money is not grown in trees, we have to do hardship to get that .....but now I think for some parents/their kids, money has started growing in trees..........they can just pluck some bucks and enjoy their time......
Oh gosh....when these people will understand that they are doing bad for their own kids.......hope these kind of parents happen to read ur article.......
regards,

Hi Mals,

Yes. It is indeed a fact of life today. The kids doesnt know the value of money and how & where it comes from... For affluent parents it is understandalbe, as it is because the kids watch how their parents/grandparents behave etc.... so they behave accordingly...... But even in these cases, I have seen most of the people educate their kids and bring up in a proper manner so that they can take the reins from them.....

But slowly the trend is changing in the middle class or the top middle class.... It is because the parents who has suffered in their life doesnt wan their kids to suffer.... So they pamper them with everything and in the process the kids loose respect for money.....

One day my son was asking me for some play toys... I told him i dont have money that much, as it was genuinely expensive and i dont want him to have that.... His immediate reaction was... You have a credit card nah....... I was shocked and taken back for a moment... He was observing all these days when i go for shoppin that i pay through credit card and he feels if i have that i can buy anything. Then I had to explain to him in detail the value of money etc.... Though today my kids are cost concious....Thanks to my wife.....

So... At the end of the Day it is the parents responsibility to embibe the value of money/education etc to the kids..... In this fast world where both the parents are working and focussed on their careers missout on spending time with their kids...... In the process they couldnt teach them the values.....

My 2 bit exp......

Veda

Originally Posted by Meeta

Hey Mals........
Indeed u had written a nice post........but its sad to see this kind of behaviour among little minds.
I had several of this kind of experience...don't know its only the parents fault or the surroundings has been changed.
I want to cite one example from my family only.......I have my maternal cousin and he is his only child and youngest in our whole family.
Uncle has plenty of money, although he never showed off his money power but indirectly my cousin is affected by this so called money power.......
He will choose his clothings......and he is so small and he has already developed interest in things like Bikes/Imported goods........I sometimes feel bad for him........why he happened to be like this while we were never behaved like him before........I remember in my childhood days, my mom used to make the monthly budget for us (me and my brother), and if our expenses will go beyond the budget we ourself will ask mom that Ok, lets wait for next month for this kind of expenditure.......
But kids of this generation, they just need everything outrightly.....wait and understanding like words are non-existent in their Diction.........
I think this is also the responsibility of today's education system in which the school used to ask kids to buy everything even if its a SUPW project in which children has to do everything by themselves without much wastage of money.....
And parents feel ashamed to tell their kids abt their financial status.....they will hide the crunch and suffer by themselves and on the other hand their kids will waste their hard earned money........
I remember our mother telling us that money is not grown in trees, we have to do hardship to get that .....but now I think for some parents/their kids, money has started growing in trees..........they can just pluck some bucks and enjoy their time......
Oh gosh....when these people will understand that they are doing bad for their own kids.......hope these kind of parents happen to read ur article.......
regards,

You are correct Vysan........

Malspie,

Yes we spoil our kids ourselves.We buy them whatever they want,even when we cant afford it at times.Yes birthdays have become lavish, with expensive return gifts.

Good one.Regards.kamal