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How do you measure love? In grams, gallons or bytes?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Aug 3, 2010.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    If you believe in reincarnation, then you should know that my father is a reincarnation of the famous English poet and philosopher Thomas Gray. My sisters and I will swear on this for we were the only lucky ones privy to his profound philosophical insights.

    As children, we grew up on quotations from Thomas Gray’s poem ‘Elegy written in a Country Churchyard’. The following lines from this poem were discussed so extensively, so often in our home that if I were to wake up from a coma with amnesia a few years from now, I may not remember my own name but I am positive that I can recite these lines then.

    “The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow'r,
    And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
    Awaits alike th' inevitable hour.
    The paths of glory lead but to the grave.”

    Can you think of a better way to teach your children the futility of joining the maddening rat race called life? Dad enriched our childhoods further with acute philosophical observations like ‘Beauty is only skin deep’ every time he caught one of us standing in front of the mirror unashamedly admiring our own reflections, questions like ‘Were we born into this world with the comforts of a fan and a fridge?’ whenever we whined incessantly about the power outages and the unbearable heat of Chennai. It was only natural that we nicknamed him ‘Mr. Gray’.

    Now the point of this whole big introduction is to show you that I come from very good erudite stock. Those who believe in the laws of genetics would naturally assume that I would be, at least a little bit, philosophically inclined.

    If you had bet your house on that, 'oops' is all I can say. Please get ready to join the ranks of the homeless. Just like weight loss, philosophy eludes me. But this time, determined to thumb my nose at fate and get the hang of this profound thinking business, I had been picking my brain lately about something that I can think profoundly about. I never had this much trouble even when raising toddlers. After hours of exhaustive brain picking, I came up with a question that might convince you that I am my father’s daughter.

    How do you measure love? In grams, gallons or bytes?

    The commercial on TV that claims ‘some things are priceless but for everything else, there is Master Card’ is based on the assumption that love is not measurable. I can put a big hole in that theory and for this I have my kids to thank for. Both my kids love me just as much as I love them. I know this because I can measure their love quite easily.

    I can measure my youngest child’s love by how many kisses she blows my way every day. The daily count starts in the morning. On her way to the bus stop each morning, she stops after every few steps to turn around and blow kisses to me. It doesn’t bother her that the bus is fully loaded and the driver, parents at the bus stop, the kids aboard the bus are all impatiently waiting for her to hurry and board so they can be on their way. She doesn’t let a little pressure like that deprive me of my daily love dose and always takes the time to blow my quota of kisses before boarding. At last count, she topped her own record with a round 100 kisses a day. Now anything less than 80, I feel unloved.

    My eldest child is unique in many ways and all the more so in her expression of her love. She pats my head to show her support and rubs my head in a circular motion to show her affection. Please be sure to note the difference here. To pat is to console while to rub is to love. The more she loves, the harder she rubs. On days when her love for me peaks, I worry a little about premature balding. For now I am using a special herbal hair oil treatment for damage control. The day when all that rubbing leaves behind a hint of a bald spot, I will have to gently redirect her loving hands to rub my arms. Who knows? I might even save some money on salon waxing!

    So how do you measure love?
     
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  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Meena, father's daughter

    I love you for your humorous writing. But it cant be measured as you know love cant be measured. It can be felt. Nice to know how your children show their love to you. Loving mother, so loving children. How old are your children .

    My children also love me very much and show their love by their different actions.

    A well narrated, humorous post again and congratulations for winning July's FP. Wish you to win more and more finest post. All your posts are so good.

    love
    viji
     
  3. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Dear Meena habibi
    :biglaugh:biglaughYour last para:thumbsup not a bad idea to ask your DD to rub her hands on your arms instead of your head, afaraid of getting bald:rotfl
    OMG just cannot stop laughing at your imagination....hahaha

    Now my measure of love my son gives a tight hug and kisses on the cheeks whenever he happen to pass me before going to school, before going to bed as soon as he wakes up even much before brushing, he needs to do this, but never counted anytime.:)
    And now I don't even get even one:cry: as he stays away from me but last month when he came to stay with me I found out that it has reduced, he doesn't hug and kiss me like before just a few in a day that means he stopped loving me:bonk
    I thought he is grown up now and has become matured.
    OMG this is the dangerous theory.....Hahahaha
     
  4. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena

    I strongly believe in reincarnation and your belief that your father is a reincarnation of Thomas Gray has brought you a lot closer to me. No one else would have seen the doors of my heart as wide open as you will see now after hearing your connection with Thomas Gray. This is one poet who I have studied very seriously. I find his thoughts on the impermanence of human life extremely fascinating. I have tremendous interest in the subject of death. I have studied it in great detail and I am of the strong view that death does not snuff out all our aspirations, the love that our hearts get filled with during our journey through life and our strong beliefs. They in fact determine our reincarnation.

    What I love about Thomas Gray is his philosophical under current in all his verses. They do not create a panic in us about the inevitability of death but leave us almost longing for it! Look at what you have quoted:
    The paths of glory lead but to the grave
    There are various interpretations of this line but I am with the thought that he is not talking here about the senseless pursuit of the paths of glory which lead but only to the grave. On the contrary, the more acceptable explanation would be that there are high roads and low roads in all human pursuits and our choice should always be the high road even when directing our course to the grave. He seems almost to instruct us how to die after going through the intricate windings of mortal life!

    How do you measure love indeed? A senior executive of a multination was extremely particular to be home by 1 p.m. to have lunch with his wife. A colleague of his discovered one day that his wife was an Alzheimer patient. He asked him why he was so particular to be home by 1 p.m. when she would not know anything to which the man replied “She may not know but I know” That is love of the highest order. Unlike other measurable, love is not measured by how it is exhibited but how it is felt by the recipient. And as in this case, the wife is not even in a position to feel her husband’s love and yet he goes on showering it on her. Why would anyone like to measure love of this kind?

    Sri
     
  5. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    If not the philosophical inclination, we can very well see the literary influence that you have had growing up :thumbsup Humor, now you have to tell us where you get it from ;-)

    We all want to feel/show love and eventually figure out ways of understanding it - you as a mother are doing and your kids are leaning to show!!

    Thanks for yet another wonderful, humorous write up. Thanks to you, now I am a more regular visitor in the snippets forum!!
     
  6. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Viji aunty for your kind words of appreciation. It means a lot to me. My kids are 14 and 9 and they are the light of my life. I am so glad that you have wonderful loving children too.

    There is no one single unit of measurement for love like you said. Love comes through in many forms through the many different actions of those around us. It is simply a matter of fine tuning one's senses to pick up those different signals to enjoy the love that is offered to us. Thanks again, Viji aunty, for your visit.
     
  7. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Aruna,

    Don't lose heart that your son has stopped offering you kisses and hugs to you. It is not that he has stopped loving you. He must have switched his mode of showing love to you that you have yet to recognize.

    See, it took me a long time to figure out that each time my daughter rubbed my head in a circular motion, it was an expression of love. Once I learned that, it was with great joy that I took a bag of ice to my scalp each time after the event to help with the bruising.:) So, watch out carefully and you might find your son's unique way of expression pretty soon. Who knows! May be he yawns or belches loudly every time he feels affectionate towards you and you may have just missed it. :biglaugh
     
  8. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sri Uncle,

    Ha ha...you sound just like my father. Unlike you, I cannot claim to have widely read the works of Thomas Gray except for some of his poetry in college. From what little I have read and, mostly, from what I have heard from my father, I agree with you that the strong philosophical undercurrent that is prevalent in his poetry is his true claim to fame in literature.

    //On the contrary, the more acceptable explanation would be that there are high roads and low roads in all human pursuits and our choice should always be the high road even when directing our course to the grave.//

    I somehow always read the line the way it read - as the senseless pursuit of wealth and fame even while knowing very well that we are inching our way to the grave. But your interpretation makes a lot of sense too and isn't that the beauty of poetry? The fact that it allows such different interpretations is probably why it is such a celebrated genre in literature.

    //Unlike other measurable, love is not measured by how it is exhibited but how it is felt by the recipient.//

    True. Love is all around us in the many imperceptible actions of those around us. Sometimes it is obvious like when my youngest daughter blows kisses to me and sometimes not so obvious as when my oldest one rubs my head in a circular motion but it is there for us as long as we know to recognize it.

    Thank you, Sri Uncle, for sharing the wealth of your thoughts on this subject. :)
     
  9. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hi meena

    what a fine way of expressing love towards your writing, with such a humorous post.

    as in my case i think i can measure love when my toddler son keep saying "Amma i dont love u," if scold him or reufuse him anything :)))) and he will say "I love you" just to compete with his sister, when she hugs me.

    enjoyed very much. keep posting.

    P.S. Congrats for winning the FP for last month.
     
  10. Raba

    Raba Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Meena,
    :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh You are gifted with a great talent.

    :hatsoff to your dad for he contributed a very good writer to IL.:thumbsup

    My mom always kisses and hugs me when love overflows.

    But I rarely kiss my mom dont know why:)

    You are brilliant to find out how your elder one shows love to you:biglaugh

    Congrats Meena for winning the FP:cheers
     

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