SHE - Episode 11

Hi Kamla and Rashi,
I totally agree with you two. You have given exact words to what my views are. Thanks

now i know why you were afraid.
my own words com and fall out .
i was expectin something on theses lines only,but could not visualise shalini doing it.
so it is about latha.
my my shalu is really going through all the colors of life.
lets see what else unfolds
will come back later

hello sridhar

சீரியல்கள் போதாதா இரண்டு பெண்டாட்டி
கதைகளுக்கு
இங்கு இரண்டு கணவன்?
more to follow?
i dont watch serials on tv...
கதைக்கு வேண்டுமானால்
lesbian relationship
two or more husbands or wives..
கதை விருவிருப்பாக செல்ல
உதவலாம்
like i said before
ape the west for jeans
work ..confidence..go places
but please
leave indian culture alone...
turn to old films
when mgr or sivagi
sang with heroines
and the theatre went housefull
in each and every viewer
they saw themselves
who can afford a car..run around parks
sing lovely melodious songs
dress well,...smash villians
and get gorgeous girls...?
that was a dream for everyviewer on the screen
so it is with stories
what we dont get in real life
we may dream in stories too..
but yech ...i might just drop out..
sorry ...
like kamala says i may tolerate it if i am to witness such things in neighbourhood...not in the family a big NO...
but i have a strong view about our culture...kattupatti pattikadu maybe but it is my view right?
sathya

Dear Tamil and Sathya,
Do not get upset, be patient. Living together, gay and lesbion relationship
will all be tested and they will have a natural death. The wheel will go a full round and a time will come that only our age old time tested culture will prove to be right. So there is no need to get alarmed. People should adopt only good things from other cultures, but not blindly everything that they think is modern. But we the old timers, definitely feel sad to see the deteriorating values and cultural degradation.
With love,
Pushpavalli

Dear Monsi,
I am very happy you liked this episode. I am happier still that the first response that I have to write for SHE 11 is on a happy note. Down the line I am aware truckloads of bricks and eggs are awaiting me.
Since you wrote first in this episode let me tell you that the next episode is going to be at least as vibrant as this. But please do not tell anyone else.
ha ha ha
thanks, Monsi.
regards,

Dear Malathi,
Hats off to your prudence. But others have now given their comments, when will you chip in yours?
SHE is a story and is also a vehicle for me to communicate whatever I have to tell. My idea is to broaden our outlook. I am not encouraging same-sex relationships, I am just telling the world, that they are there and our first duty is to understand those people and not to judge them.
But looks like I have been severely judged.
Please do post in your detailed comments, Malathy. I do treasure them.
regards,

Dear Sudha,
The world does not have time to stop and listen to our woes. It relentlessly, and at times, ruthlessly marches on. Our salvation is just to go along and find ourselves in a new, different situation and then work our way from there on.

I saw the anti-clockwise clock in Englan some 14 years ago. I made use of the device to talk about the differences between the Indian culture and the English culture. They loved it. And to explain and present my case for people like lesbians, there cannot be a better metaphor than the anticlockwise clock.

There has been a delay in reply because I was out of town to attend a professional seminar. Godwilling, I will be posting a separate thread on that, in the Wednesdays Forum
regards,

Dear TDU,

I am deeply moved by your concerns regarding our ancient culture and heritage. I am very happy and proud to see that you, who has been living abroad for quite sometime have, are so anxious to protect our ancient culture and hoary traditions.

Of all the posts, yours merit a very detailed reply. So please do give some of your time to read my views on the subject.

I do agree about the high values set in our ancient culture. About the men and women losing their identities for their family welfare. In face with my very little exposure to our religious scriptures, I should say that our culture was at its finest during the Vedic period. This statement I make with particular reference to women.

I will quote two examples. In one Upanishad (I think it is Aithreya Upanishad) the rishi is explaining a very subtle point about our lives and existence. (What is that point, is beyond the scope of this discussion). That Rishi should have seen the people who were listening to his discourse. For he says, "Pregnant women may please retire for a while." And then after a few more lines he does not forget to say, "Pregnant women may now join us for further discussion."

I need not tell you that Upanishad is the highest form of learning restricted only to highly educated people, well-versed in shastras and those who have lived a blemishless life. This passage implies that women were a part of such discussion.

In the Brahadarayanka Upanishad when Yajnavalkya decidest to renounce the world, his wife Maitreyi asks him some pertinent questions on the meaning of life and the idea of immortality. What Yajnavalkya told her is the very essence of this great Upanishad. A sage like Yajnavalkya would not have spoken the high truth to his wife, had she not been qualified to hear that.
This is just to show that women and men were treated at par during the Vedic period.

But a few thousand years down the line the condition deteriorated. Sati was practised in which the woman was encouraged, asked (and at times forced) to alight the funeral pyre of her husband. Widows were ill-treated and exploited.

I need not tell you that till 1956 it was legally permissible to have two wives. While a woman cannot marry more than one man. Women were kept out of learning, work and all important aspects of the society. That's when our downfall started.
To put it plainly, by letting men marry several times, by recognising the man's extra-marital relationship in the form of chinnaveedu, we all became bad. (kettu kuttichuvara poittom).
My theory is that when we started dominating our women, when we grabbed our women's rightful place from them, we became weak as a culture and a nation. Then foreign invaders came in and started ruling our country. A culture that does not respect 50% of its members is bound to suffer like this.

I am giving this long prelude only to make this statement. Lesbianism is not perversion; but allowing a man to have a chinnaveedu is perversion.

Letting a man having extramarital relationships and in the same breath enforcing chastity for women is the worst form of perversion.

Now let's go a step further and try to understand lesbians and gays. I would say that it is more a question of orientation. A few of us write with their left hands.
They are not perverts.

Same is the case with lesbians and gays. They cannot think of a normal hetrosexual relationship. I would go a step further and say that they would find hetrosexual relationship as nauseating as a hetro would find a homo-sexual relationship.

If girls seek their identities by having lesbion relationships and why not boys seek their identity in gay relationships, what will happen to the society?.

I would say nothing. I would say that a married man visiting a prostitute is perversion. Not the same sex relationships. Prostitution has been there from time immemmorial. It is acknowledged as the oldest profession. Men happily engaged in the perverse activity of seeking pleasure from another woman. Did the society fall?

I will quote an example from a family known to me. The boy was a gay. The parents did not know that. So they fixed a girl and forced him to marry her. He finally confessed his orientation and pleaded with tears in his eyes that he could not think of such a marriage. The parents would not listen and emotionally blackmailed him to marry the girl. What happened? Three months later they separated. Now they are waiting for their divorce decree. Those parents have not only complicated the boy's life but have also spoilt another innocent girl's life.

Any relationship based on emotions cannot last longer. Aasai arupathu naal moham muppathu naal.

This statement applies as forcefully to an arranged marriage, as it does to lesbians, gays and live-ins. Relationship between two persons is such a beautifully complex thing that it is naive to confine it to some proverb or old saying. Yes, Latha and Natasha will have their share of problems; but at the real level the problems would be exactly the same as what we faced in our marriages. They may also get separated, as so many lawfully wedded couples do. But that does not make the relationship more perverse or less sacred.

If and when a break comes in the relationship between Latha and her partner which is bound to happen sooner or later, both their parents will be cursing Shalini only.
Suppose we help the boy's family and girl's family to meet each other. And help them to form a relationshiop. The boy marries the girl. And soon they have problems. Then will their parents curse us, because we helped them with the process? Yes, they will. But that does not make us bad, or our act mean.

Finally I ask a basic question. Why is there such a great opposition for lesbianism while there is virtually none for prostitution? Lesbians do not harm the society. What they do between themsevles constitute acts betwen consenting adults, in which law does not have a way to enter. They do not hurt each other any more than married couples do. So why don't we just let them as they are?

More in later posts.
regards,

Originally Posted by Tamildownunder

Dear varalotti,

After reading your SHE-Episode 11 on Latha's escapades, my shock value has increased. First Living-in culture and now Lesbion relationship all meant to make young girls 'Kettu kutti chuvarai porathuku'. I feel the whole beauty of Indian culture is that both men and women to lose their identities to form a family, to produce progeny and finding the meaning of life in living for them (children). If girls seek their identities by having lesbion relationships and why not boys seek their identity in gay relationships, what will happen to the society?. Already an awakening has come in the west after they experimented with these form of relationships. Why not take lessons learnt in the west, instead of trying to ape their culture in the name of seeking one's identity. I feel the charm of life is in adjustments, sacrifices and living in conformity with a set code of life evolved over centuries. I am quite sure Latha and her lesbion friend's relationship will get worn out in short time leaving them both stranded in life forcing them to lead a single life definitely as it has happened here in the west. Any relationship based on emotions cannot last longer. Aasai arupathu naal moham muppathu naal. If and when a break comes in the relationship between Latha and her partner which is bound to happen sooner or later, both their parents will be cursing Shalini only. I would like to read the response from other ilites.

Regards,

TDU

Thanks Rashi for your kind comments. I am happy that you liked the story. Your arguments to TDU are quite interesting. You hit the nail on its head when you said

if it does get worn out, why can't they bring the charm back with "adjustments" and "sacrifices" as in any other hetero-sexual relationships.
Nothing bad is going to happen to the society with gay marriages/relationships.

You are right Rashi. We comfortably leave so many other things that corrupt our society. Corruption, politician- criminals et al. But the society has identified lesbians as a soft target and pouncing upon them.

Rashi, I think that the existence of prostitution as an institution is actually a shame on us men. People now say that there are male prostitutes too. But 99% of the prostitutes are women which shows that 99% of people who approach them are men. Is it not an act of worst possible perversion for a man to approach a woman who gives sexual favours for money? I would rather shoot those men first before thinking of taking any action against gays and lesbs.

Thanks for the participation.
regards,

Dear TDU,

Though you have addressed your query to Rashi, I want to say this to you. Lesbianism is not something we imported from abroad.

Latha did not see some bluefilm videos and because of that she became a lesbian. She had that orientation all along and in the right time and place it manifested.

I think you are confusing between lesbianism and a sexual orgy. Continuous obsession with sex, whether hetro or homo is bad. It blocks our productivity and prevents us from delivering our best to the society.

By their very nature lesbianism and gay cannot become the general rule. Same-sex relationships are confined to less than 1% of the population. Lesbianism is not a religion to which a person can be converted by preaching or any other means.

God was kind enough to save this country when we exploited our womenfolk. God saved this country when women were allowed to alight the funeral pyre in the name of sati. God saved this country when the law permitted a man to have many wives. God saved this country when men set up chinnaveedu and claimed it as a status symbol. God saved this country when prostitution flourished in all religious centres and there was a dedicated 'devadasi' community for the oldest profession.
Having been so kind all along, I don't think God will take weapons in his hand seeing the difference in orientation in less than 1% of the population.

regards,

Originally Posted by Tamildownunder

Dear Rashi,

It is your prerogative not to agree with me and the society. Your response only shows how much the young Indian minds are corrupted in the name of forward thinking and aping a culture which the westerners themselves want to abolish. I do not say that all is well with Indian traditions and culture. But, instead of seeking solutions within, we seek solutions from foreign way of life. Time will prove that no society with lesbions and gays will be healthy. If everyone starts thinking like you, God save this country.

Regards,

TDU