SHE - Episode 5

Yes, Gayathri, the story is taking a turn now. And it will be taking a turn every week. Seeing the enthusiasm of you all, I am bringing in so many issues into the story. I am not presumptuous enough to think I am giving some message to this group of enlightened readers. I intend provoking discussion on a range of issues which have not been boldy discussed so far.

It is the duty of the writer to make the readers get used to his or her characters. When you know someone really close then you can only like him. That's why God loves us all; because She knows us really close.

I too enjoyed writing the imaginary conversation in this episode. Though inserting that meant extending the story by one more episode, I was sure that it would be relished and if not actually enjoyed, will at least be appreciated. Many lives are spent in such kind of kaash moments.

Though I have the capacity to portray sensitive characters in my stories, whether I am that sensitive or not, only my wife can tell. She holds her opinions to herself; but this much she has said, that I am not like any of the good characters portrayed by me. I will have to take it as a compliment. At least she has not likended me to my bad characters.

regards,

Dear Sridhar,
I was really worried when there was too much of an identification with the characters. The problem is like this: now we are just taxiing the runaway. so any comparison or identification is okay. But some three, four episodes down the line, we will be at a height of 40000 feet above MSL. Any comparison at that time might hurt. So I just wanted to warn now itself. Of course, as you rightly put it, who can ever prevent you all from making those comparisons. I deem it as the highest compliments paid to my story. Thank you for this touching intrepretation. It also increases my responsibility towards the story.

About the second paragraph of your post, why do you first think, that it has to be only death? It can be something else, and be more devastating. Any further attempt to answer your repeated questions will be letting the cat out of the bag, a week in advance, the last thing I want to do.

Thanks for the nice, touching words of appreciation.
regards,

Hello Meena,

Well about the counsellor's advice we had a lot of discussion in the last episode. So let's leave that issue now.

I am not going to expose Rishi any more than necessary. Writing, Meena, is more like painting. The painter takes the brush in his hand and makes a powerful stroke here but makes a gentle brush there. The colour is the same the intensity is different. In fact the difference in intensities of the brush-strokes give life to the picture. If Rishi has got only a light 'brush-up' so far, let it me. Let's see how he grows up later in the story.

The statistics say that almost 90% of the divorces happen within 5 years of marriage. A marriage that has stood for 5 years is more likely to stand for 25 years. But in Shiva-Shalini case the heroine wakes up after 5 years to find that she is trapped in a loveless marriage.

I fully agree with your observation that most men are not loveless. But do not know how to express their love. I had also used that to defend the husband of one of the ILites.

But I also think that in order for love to survive, it has to be expressed sooner or later. Unexpressed love soon dies and the person becomes really loveless.

These are some issues which we men should think deeper than we are doing now.
Your observation about men's need for sex before love is also illuminating. The psychologists used to say. For a woman love is primary. She does not mind sex being a byproduct of love. For a man, sex is primary. He does not mind love being a byproduct of sex.

Of course there are exceptions on both sides. But did they not say that the exceptions confirm the rule?

Thanks for the wonderful post, Meena.
regards,

Dear Sridhar,

I am enjoying the ride as of now with episode 5. The dialogue between Shiva and Shal can be related with every dad and daughter. I was drawn very much in their conversation. Felt like I was with my dad. In the very same episode your seem to show the two sides of men. I am comparing Shiva and Rishi,of course both play a different role here.

Just with one incident I would not want to judge the relationship between Shal and Rishi. Maybe Rishi took Shal for granted asking her to pack. Want to wait and see before I make any judgement about him. Hope she does not decide anything just based on these few incidents. I am still wondering what was happening in the last scene when the phone rang. If at all something happens to Shiva, who will be of moral support to Shal? Will wait and see.

Love,

Most Gracious ILites,

I have just now posted the translation of my 13th essay which appeared in today's Dinamalar. It is about hard work vs smart work.

Hard Work vs Smart Work - Valarppom Thannambikkai - 13

Looking forward to seeing your responses for that.

regards,

Dear Sridhar sir, Good going. As u have said many men though they love their wife and family they do not know how to express it. They are so naive. This non-expression of love is mistaken for no love. Moreover, i feel that love is more of reciprocation. If the woman showers her love definitely the man will also reciprocate(provided he is a person of all good qualities like rishi). Rishi is also portrayed as a boy brought up by his military father. So naturally he would have been longing for mother's love and would have expected the same from Shal when he married her. He would have become so rigid only because he did not get the love he expected from his wife. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. waiting to read the next episode.

Thanks and kind regards, sujatha

Dear Anjana,
Thanks, Anjana. But as of now we are just still taxiing on the runway. I have approached the ATC for clearance to fly. And in an episode or two we will be up in the air.

Any man appears differently to his daughter than to his wife. Normally speaking, a man shows the best of him to his daughter. But there are exceptions like Shiva who showed their best to their wives and even to the rest of the world, as we are going to learn soon.

Anjana, I find all the ladies sympathising with Rishi though I have tried my best to paint him in a dark shade of grey. Every one agrees that what Rishi did was wrong but no one is willing to judge him based on this single incident. I only presume that the ladies in this forum are so loving and so caring that all your spouses should be damn lucky to have you.

Let me tell you what happened in the last scene when the phone rang. You see.. .. sorry, Anjana, other ILites are objecting. Just wait for 120 hours.
Thanks,for your response,
regards,

Dear Sujatha,

Thanks a ton for your kind words. I want to tell you something, Sujatha. This non-expression of love and no-love has been analysed enough. A psychologist friend tells me that if you do not express love for long, then you become loveless, in the same way if you do not move your limbs for long, really long, they lose their power to move.

The same is true with all emotions. Inability to express them robs us of our emotional richness and we become as flat as a dial tone. Love or hate, fear or joy should be expressed. If we cant express it to the concerned person, at least we should express it to ourselves, before God, before any other person.

Rishi being denied his mother's love and looking for the same from Shalini is a new angle, which Sujatha, honestly, I have not covered or even thought of it. It shows how kind, balanced and loving you are. Thanks for that observation.

regards,

I feel elated after reading your reply that your heroines have been named Malathi! As you have rightly said, there are also an equal number of men who have not had enough love and attention from their spouses. I think this is because of lack of communication between the partners. We always assume that the other person should know what is in our mind and respond accordingly. The second reason is suspicious minds.
Waiting for your next episode.
By the way, yesterday, I read your article" valarpom Thannambikkai" in Dinamalar Varamalar. What you had written is very true- An intelligent way of working is more important than working hard without a fruitful purpose.

Dear Sridhar sir, Thanks for that nice compliment i donot know whether i deserve that one. For I was in a very foul mood yesterday and shouted at my daughter and husband for a small mistake which i regretted for too long. Sometimes we lose our temper for nothing at all and feel bad later on. Anyway thanks for that

sujatha