One sunday, me and my sister decided to visit an old age home at chennai to meet our BIL another sisters husband ( we lost the sister a few years back ). His only daughter has gone to US to be with her only son for some time, so had no other way than leaving him in the home. My BIL was very old but recognised us and sounded in good spirit. He was happy to be there meeting his same age groups , with more talking, sharing, praying etc. He introduced us one old brahmin lady. While talking to her she poured down her story for why she is there. She was having four children all sons. She and her husband gave everything to brought them well educated. One by one they all became doctors or engineers and had their life partners from well to do families and settled in US and India. By this time this lady and her husband became above fifty and they believed all the children will support them in all ways. When both of them were healthy, the sons and dils competite to each other to keep the parents. Wherever they go, the lady will take care of the kitchen and the father will take care of shopping, caring the grand kids etc. Slowly the father became ill and the lady also wished to nurse him all the time. Then came the problem. Gradually everybody tried to put the responsibility of looking the parents in others shoulders vise versa. They even suggested the mother to put the father in some old age home. Since the lady was mentally so strong, she refused to leave her husband. Then came the suggesion of both of them going to some old age home. They promised she didnt have to worry about the finance part. They can come at any time to meet them when they want to see them. Thus she came to this home and after few months lost her husband. When we asked why she didnt go back to the children after the husbands death, she took some time and told us, " first they didnt aske me to come, they know I am of no use further and second I decided the day we came here that this is my home". Me and my sister were in tears but we realized all this time the lady didnt show any sign of sorrow. When she saw us still upset, She told in a strong voice, "I am not upset anymore to be away from all my children, am rather happy to have more sisters and brothers here. My prayer to god now is not to make me loose any of these people before my death". On the way back me and my sister didnt utter a word to each other. We felt suddenly this and tried to comfort each other and said at the same time, OLD IS GOLD NO? Yes, old is gold, but we are realising the value only when we are not having them.
Dear Ganges, This is sheer agony that same children who once can't live without their parents, later can't live with them. I hate people like these.. My DH's elder brother got seperated with parents just after 6 months of marriage and me and my DH try our level best to keep a balance and after 3 years of marriage , we ( us and in laws) are living happily together.. I will not hesitate to mention though my kitchen is seperate but it was done happily and both ( us and inlaws) don't interfere in each other's privacy.. A bit of understanding and compromise can make life easy to spend.. How can that lady's son sleep satisfactorily when their mother is sleeping in an old age home.. MAy God gives a lot of strength to our old parents..
dear ganges... i feel sorry for the old lady...i hate all those 4 sons,how its possible for them to leev their mom in old age home,cant even the single son keep the parents with them,its terrible.all are selfish...
elders take responsibilty of taking care of kids,schooling,college,their basic needs,help in marriages what not basic back bone of everyone are their parents and when time comes where you can show gratitude i wonder why people go back..people should change..good that amma was bold enough and taking the life as it comes..others may be depressed easily in such situations and get all health ailments..
thankyou deepali for your fb. If every body is ready to adjust and give up something for each other then there is no need of old age home. ganges
dear deepa, we also felt sorry for the lady when we heard the story. But she is an example for all old people who got hurt like this by their children. Dont take that into heart to make you more ill. Be brave. Atleast the satisfactory part is there are old age homes. ganges
dear lavii, Ya true. We should learn the lesson form her experience. Me and my sister used to remind us her story now and then. thankyou for your fb. ganges
Dear Ganga, How Sad. Just think of the lady's feelings at that time. How she would've suffered to grow up the kids? All are selfish fellows yaar. Feel sorry for the lady. Nice write up friend. Can understand the lady's feelings through your words.
dear veni, It is wonderful to get you fb. Thank you. even now some times I used to think of this lady. This is the one known mother to us. We dont know how many such mothers are there in this world. Ganges
