Tried to post this in Indus Ladies Blog, but found an apt place where i can post this.. Writing here my painful visit to an old age home.. Had been to orphanages and old age home many times as a donor, but this time been there to visit my relative which affected me a lot.. She was none other than my grandmother's sister(age: 84).. Born in a very rich family with lotza luxury and married in another Big family to a Village Administrative Officer, her early days went good and happy.. I have heard from my parents and relatives that she always dresses up very nicely and had never repeated a dress again once in 6 months.. Enjoyed Parties, Movies and Dinners with her husband.. She was blessed with a son who survived only for 2 years.. You can say her happiness died with him.. But even then she had a fair life with her husband. And a day came, even her husband left her when she was 48.. She sold all her properties and came to my grandmother's place and lived with them. She used to take care of all our families and even neighbors.. Whenever a need arises for someone she will be there.. And she was spending her days with my grandparents, later when my grandparents passed away some 7years back, she was once again left alone.. She was staying in a separate portion with my elder uncle who was staying in our native village. She wanted to be in the same village where she had spent almost all her life with many relatives surrounding her .. She refused to come with us since we live in city and neighbors wont interact much.. Moreover my parents used to travel for me and my sister and stays with us for few months and we cant leave her alone at home.There were so many other practical difficulties and we are not the only person who are responsible or decide for her.. We got the news that they(my uncles in our village) were going to leave her in a home only few days before she was admitted there.. The reason which made me to write this blog is the appearance of her which i saw today.. When we entered her dormitory she was sitting in a cot after her breakfast and I cudnt control my tears to see a woman with lotza pride and glory in a very pathetic condition.. She had gone very lean(She was gigantic and very bold) with no vision, not audible and cudnt walk.. Later came to know through the home authorities that she fell down while walking and cudnt stand without support and she is bedridden and her body condition is not in a condition to respond the treatments.. She was just wearing a blouse and a skirt(She used to wear neatly pressed silk sarees).. God, how life of a person change from birth to death.. She was left there since none of us were able to take care of her due to our busy life schedule(I know I am really ashamed of saying these silly excuses) but one thing i can say she is really well taken care of by the home people, i cud say even if she was with us we wudnt be able to give the same attention and care the home authorities are giving her.. Whatever care and attention she gets, she misses all the relatives.. Eventhough she cant hear us properly she started to enquire about all our relatives and was very happy to have a visitor for her..When we were about to leave the place, she was crying and holding our hands which is still aching me a lot.. Old Age is really painful, that too when left to spend alone.. Now, only thing what we can do is visit her frequently and spend time with her.. I Pray God for her speedy recovery and bless her remaining days with peace and good health.
What a lovely post! I also pray for her remaining days to be cheerful and healthy. Try to pass her some tv serial or some movies which she could watch and enjoy. Maybe organize a nice birthday party at the home where she stays with all ur relatives around. That will show her that ppl do care.. though times are tough, ppl do find some ways to connect with each other not just in times of need. Those ppl are really genuine kind souls.. Hope we all find such friends/ relatives/ ppl around us when we are old. God bless
Your post brought tears in my eyes. I feel so bad especially after reading these lines. "When we entered her dormitory she was sitting in a cot after her breakfast and I cudnt control my tears to see a woman with lotza pride and glory in a very pathetic condition.. " I would be happy if she could get her family support in her last days. I guess every elder wants that. I am sure the old age home would take care of them really well,but still in their hearts, they would yearn for their family. May God be with the great lady.
Even though I felt very sad about the condition of your grand mother's sister, I was happy that at least an old age home was able to giver her shelter and do give basic care for her. Absolutely, nothing can replace her own relatives. If it is not feasible to have her move into the house, at least, you can take her home when the relatives meet in a common gathering like marriages, events, receptions, etc. She would be happy to see all the relatives and live with those memories for a long time. But, I guarantee you one thing. Her crying when you left was not because of her plight but because of gratitude of you visiting her. That happiness will linger in her mind for a long time to come. Generally, the older generation always worry about whether they are a problem for younger generation. Only way, we can make them happy is to constantly be happy around them reducing their mental burden. Viswa
Thank u Alisha, Vidukarth, Viswa and Pavi for ur lovely replies and prayers.. Yes, we are planning to visit her as much as possible.. Old people like to have people around them to share their memories.. There were days she used to visit our house,cook our favorite dishes(She is an excellent cook) and take us to nearby temples and theaters.. Yesterday,when we were talking to her she was blessing us that we should live with all prosperity and happiness and that is the only thing she is expecting to hear from us.. How wonderful and pure is the love of old people, whom we cant even take care of.. Felt very guilty while leaving her y'day.. But one thing i decided y'day is to visit her frequently and spend time with her and other inmates of that home.. Heard that most of the inmates over there dont get visitors.. Eventhough the home provides them with all food, medicines and care, there is always a sadness seen on their face.. I pray God to give them strength and peace..
Touching one. This will bring in everybodys eyes. Hope she ll recovey soon and i ll keep her in my prayers always. Do meet her often that is the only way to heel her wounds.
Sure Sowmya, it would be really nice if you can visit her atleast monthly once. I really appreciate your sincere efforts. May God be with all of you.
Sowmya, It brought tears in my eyes.Visit by you would make her happy. I would pray to god to give peace for all the old people.
