DD just ignores me at school !!

All,

Whenever I go to volunteer in the classroom, go to have lunch with my dd who is 6 now, she just acts as if I am invisible to her. Even when I go near her and sit and try to talk she just answers my questions to the point...yes or no. She is not like that at home. When I later ask her she says she didn't have anything to talk to me in the class/cafeteria. I tell her that some of the kids hug and kiss their moms when they see them. To this she says she too does that at home and in school you should not be doing that. When she returns from school and after her snack I ask her "tell me what all you did at school" . To this she says "nothing"!!!
I don't feel so bad but then I wonder why she is like that. Generally, she is not a introvert. She talks a lot but only at home. She plays, fights and does everything a normal child does with her older sibling. Her teacher has a very good opinion of her. All my friends say she is very well-behaved with them when I am not there too. But at school my big huge person standing right in front of her is invisible.

Do your kids do the same when they see you at school ? Was wondering how your kids react when they see you at school.


Adara

Adara,
I was like that when i was a kid
i will be behaving very formally i hate showing affection in public places ..i find it wierd deep in my heart i love my parents like anything but behave just like your kid so she is one such kind nothing to worry

Originally Posted by adara

All,

Whenever I go to volunteer in the classroom, go to have lunch with my dd who is 6 now, she just acts as if I am invisible to her. Even when I go near her and sit and try to talk she just answers my questions to the point...yes or no. She is not like that at home. When I later ask her she says she didn't have anything to talk to me in the class/cafeteria. I tell her that some of the kids hug and kiss their moms when they see them. To this she says she too does that at home and in school you should not be doing that. When she returns from school and after her snack I ask her "tell me what all you did at school" . To this she says "nothing"!!!

LOL. My pre-Ker is like this, too. When I ask her what she did at school every day, she says, "I didn't do ANYTHING!" (with emphasis on the ANYTHING!)


You should ask her why she thinks that she shouldn't show affection and / or talk to you in school. Get a discussion going with her and you may get to the root of her behavior. Most likely, she just feels embarrassed by the prospect of publicly displaying affection? How does she behave with her older sister at school? (assuming that both girls go to the same school)?

Thanks Lavii and Malyatha.

Malyatha, I asked her so many times why she does not even talk to me other then simple yes/ no leave alone hugging and kissing and the only answer is "BECAUSE"........then there is a long pause and then all of a sudden "I dont like it". I was like...."dont like what?" She replies back like..."dont like whatever you want me to do"

It gets so hard to get things out of her mouth so I asked her directly..."why dont you even hold my hand when I am in your school and right besides you"?
She said "Mommy, are you so small, I have to hold your hand and walk?" Can't you walk on your own?"

Even my elder dd says she does not even 'HI FIVE' her when they cross each other in the corridor. She says "Mom, I try to Hi five her and she just smiles and walks away as if she doesn't even know me. I look like a kiddy then, once even my friends laughed at me when she did that, so nowadays I dont do that anymore in school."

To this also her answer would be " BECAUSE......I dont like it".


Adara

Adara,

No two kids are same. my DD does not like to be touched much. in public she likes to keep a certain distance too (i feel it could be peer pressure??)

Her classmates do make fun. though i try to hug her friends too (which is see as grabbing, by some of them..and they have told her not even our parents hug us..it looks so silly when yours does. so have stopped it.

Take the case of my DS. he used to like to draw my attention to him when we used to go school. he became so hyper seeing his parents that we made a great effort not to go the school.

Now he is keeps a little distance as it is.

I feel it is each kid's nature and also peer pressure. we do not know how our visits and your volunteering is being discussed by kids. (you never know seriously)

But regarding not talking about what happened at school, you need to make them talk. we did have a discussion long back on the same lines.

i just feel each kid is different, my ds is so proud when i volunteer, when other kids come and ask me, are you arjun's mom??? you should look at my son's face, his face will be beaming, i don't know what makes him so proud,, he will hug and kiss me and leave, basically he will try to show off in front of kids,... isn't that funny..

but generally on a daily basis when i ask him what happened in school, he will say nothing and because... and then nothing again, but he opens up better with dh,

radha

adara thats really sad , its so just because you feel thats so imporatant and you miss her every second you are away .

but because kids learn more from their parents , i would like to know how you are and how much close you are to your parents and how you behave in public .
is it your own reflection...

kids are also developing their personality at this age , and you are being little possessive ...... this shows how much you love her.

dont worry she would have all the love within .

Hey, I am wondering if it is the younger sister/second child syndrome My older sister would try to talk to me and try to ensure I eat properly, etc. etc. I would run at her sight. I was trying to create an indentity of my own and having my older sister around kind of made me feel like I am her "mini me". So, she would acknowledge my presence and go her way and me my way. If I ever needed anything I always went to her, but it was in my terms. Just wondering if it something like that with your younger one too.

Thanks Shanvy and Radha. Yeah, I agree that each kid is different.

Thanks Rosary for your post. As for me with my parents I keep distance in public. May be she got that too but then I don't remember how I was at that age. She is just 6yrs now.

Tikka, the 2nd child syndrome applies somewhat to my dd too. She is very independent kind of child. I have observed her in some things where she does not like being told by her sister. Actually, it all depends on her mood, if she is in good mood then she allows her sister to boss her around otherwise even the slightest suggestion ticks her off.
As for me, I enjoy this vast difference in their personalities...every day.
Thanks a lot for the post.

Adara