Hi pals,
I have been seeing many posts in this site. I have also replied for a few post/threads. And I would like to get advice or help from you guys on handling kids.
The problem is, my four-year-old is short-tempered (I dunno whether I can refer him short-tempered at this young age) but still, he is one. As I am a working professional, I leave him at my mom's care. From his sixth month, my mom is taking care of him, the minute I push off to office. I do spend time with him once I get back home. But the problem is, he uses words like 'I'll hit you,' 'rascal' 'Vaada' 'Poda' 'Maadu' I dunno from where he picked these words from. Because our's is a more conservative family and the way we're brought up was totally different. I find it very difficult to make him realise what he is doing is just not acceptable. when I am there he never uses such words. And my mom finds it too difficult to manage him. It;s because of this behaviour, my hubby doesn't wanna take my kid anywhere only out of fear that he might say something nasty in the public and we might have to cut a sorry figure.
How to mend him is a million dollar question to me. He is nice otherwise, If anyone walks in he offers water in the first place. greets them. without even prompting him. But his one quality mars his other good ones. I know all these are because of the progs they watch on tv. But I feel guilty to ask my mom not to watch. Because as it is she is doing me a favour and she doesn't step out because my son goes to her place after school. This is the only entertainment she gets. I don't wanna stop it.
kindly help me out with ways to tackle this issue.
with anticipation,
Sudhara
I think Preethi would move this to the proper subforum
However i wanted to suggest this
Sudha
You have to send your kiid to a day care where he sees other kids, and the teachers in the daycare would teach him proper manners. Sometimes by seeing kids learn. So as you said your mom is offering you a cost free solution for day care but that doesnt mean she has to sacrifice her free time. Few hours in a day is ok but not every day, every week, every month. So start sending your kid to day care atleast for few hours, where he is around with kids of his age and such things wouldsurely straighten him.
If you try to punish your kid or force him to behave well, that wont help as you only said he becomes more stubborn and throws more tantrums. Best thing is lead by example show himhow other kids of his age are...
__________________
What u get take it with a smile !!! & What u give make sure that is the best u can do !!!
being fairly new to parenting,i can tell you based on what my aunt did when my cousin wud use foul language. telling him its wrong to use such words will only instigate the "tough boy" in him to use those words in your absence.
instead calmly explain to him that educated and respected people will never use such words.tell him that if he continues to use those people will think bad about him and stop talking to him.
i'm sure your little boy will understand.
I think Preethi would move this to the proper subforum
However i wanted to suggest this
Sudha
You have to send your kiid to a day care where he sees other kids, and the teachers in the daycare would teach him proper manners. Sometimes by seeing kids learn. So as you said your mom is offering you a cost free solution for day care but that doesnt mean she has to sacrifice her free time. Few hours in a day is ok but not every day, every week, every month. So start sending your kid to day care atleast for few hours, where he is around with kids of his age and such things wouldsurely straighten him.
If you try to punish your kid or force him to behave well, that wont help as you only said he becomes more stubborn and throws more tantrums. Best thing is lead by example show himhow other kids of his age are...
Hi Srividya,
I have been sending him to play school. he was good that time. NOw he watches a lot of these cheap comedy clippings on tV and picks up their filthy language. I don't wanna mention the actor's name, kids do get distracted and easily pick up that language. not only mine, but even my friend's kid speaks the same language. I feel too bad to take him anywhere. More than this, I feel guilty and keep telling myself that I must have taken care of my child rather than blaming my mom for watching TV which is her only relaxation. but what to do the current situation demands more from us and both man and wife need to work these days, if not for us, at least for the sake of the child. still looking for answers to set right the situation.
Thanx anyways for your suggestions. am sending him to an after-school class in the midday to keep him engaged for a while. Only with a hope that slowly he will give up the way he talks, which is totally acceptable.
sudha
Hi pals,
I have been seeing many posts in this site. I have also replied for a few post/threads. And I would like to get advice or help from you guys on handling kids.
The problem is, my four-year-old is short-tempered (I dunno whether I can refer him short-tempered at this young age) but still, he is one. As I am a working professional, I leave him at my mom's care. From his sixth month, my mom is taking care of him, the minute I push off to office. I do spend time with him once I get back home. But the problem is, he uses words like 'I'll hit you,' 'rascal' 'Vaada' 'Poda' 'Maadu' I dunno from where he picked these words from. Because our's is a more conservative family and the way we're brought up was totally different. I find it very difficult to make him realise what he is doing is just not acceptable. when I am there he never uses such words. And my mom finds it too difficult to manage him. It;s because of this behaviour, my hubby doesn't wanna take my kid anywhere only out of fear that he might say something nasty in the public and we might have to cut a sorry figure.
How to mend him is a million dollar question to me. He is nice otherwise, If anyone walks in he offers water in the first place. greets them. without even prompting him. But his one quality mars his other good ones. I know all these are because of the progs they watch on tv. But I feel guilty to ask my mom not to watch. Because as it is she is doing me a favour and she doesn't step out because my son goes to her place after school. This is the only entertainment she gets. I don't wanna stop it.
kindly help me out with ways to tackle this issue.
with anticipation, Sudhara
Please post this question in the "Parenting" sub-forum.
This is not the relevant forum
Regards
Ansh
Hi ansh,
Just pasted this content in the parenting sub-forum as you suggested. thanx so much dear. Since am new to this site, was not aware that i have to post it in the exclusive page.
Hope to get more replies and suggestions for my query after this change.
Thanx once again
sudhara
Sudhara, I dont know how well I can put this... writing in simple raw words.. pls dont mind..
this is a problem with every other toddler / child. But if the environment and people he is with day in and day out do not use such words, and he picks it up from television.. then it is time for adults to start pointing out every time he sees something wrong.. instead of saying directly to him when he uses those words... wait to catch him watch such words and just openly tell him that that 'man' is bad.. see he is using such words.. no one will like him sorts.. when two people are fighting on TV.. explain to him (as if explaining him that story) that see this is a good man and that is a bad man.. see good uncle is beating the bad uncle because he is wrong.. etc etc... this cannot work out overnight but slowly your LO will be supporting the good and not liking the bad and those unacceptable words will soon become "WRONG" in his dictionary too..
Also when he uses these words (if he uses those on you especially), just see him eye to eye and ask him politely 'Does amma and appa use those words on you?' dont bother about how he reacts the first few times.. but if you be stern (DO NOT PLEAD) and tell him in a firm voice, he is sure to remember it for ever (ofcourse will take few days) but we need to be consistent in our parenting. If it is a 'NO' it is a 'NO' for ever.. do not bend the rules.
All these works with my LO. one more thing is.. whatever rules you set, all adults at home needs to be on the same page and project a 'one figure' to LO. I know how much time and energy the grandmother dedicates for him.. My LO is under my mom's care the major part of the day when I am at work.. My mom has to repeat the same rules that we set and 'consistency' is the key.
I am sure more moms will drop in to give more ideas..
Thanx dear for your valuable suggestions. Yes, I have started doing just the way you have mentioned. My kid hates to see anyone fighting or beating others. He will immediately say they are all bad and that's why they are all fighting. even if he sees any animal being beaten he will get too violent and starts shouting why do you beat it man? poor thing. it's getting hurt! all these are fine but...
I am following the steps what you have said. Think I need to put in more efforts and take more time to make mine realise. Hope he gets OK and he grows up.
Thanks again dear
sudhara
Linear Mode
