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10 year old girl doesn't dress like one

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by adara, May 17, 2009.

  1. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ladies:

    I have a serious problem here ....I guess.

    My 10 year old daughter doesn't really dress like a girl. She does not want to wear pretty, colorful frocks, skirts. She always wears pants and shirts. I know that sweat pant is "the most comfortable dress to be in" but not when you are going for a party. She has absolutely no dress sense. Does not want to wear ear rings. Until last week I struggled to convince her and finally I said if you don't wear at least something then your pierced hole will fill in and you will need to get it done again. That made it and she now, thank heavens, has some tiny ear rings. So, like that to dress her up like a girl is a big struggle for me .

    Sometimes she gets so upset she says "why am I born a girl"? I want to be born like a boy.

    PLEASE HELP ME LADIES:drowning

    Is she up for some serious problem in life?

    Looking forward anxiously for all your advises

    Adara
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2009
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  2. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    hi adara,
    i hope u are not making her defensive by asking her to do this that like a girl.
    she is a tween (pre teens ) & will do certain thing just to show u her resentment of ur constant nagging.what sort of company she has.are the other girls in her group interested in girlie things or they are more into sports & studies.maybe her group is influencing her.i see many 8 to 12 yrs old who dress almost always in sweet pants & Tees.you never know maybe she is getting conscious of the shape of her legs or hair on her legs & hence want to wear jeans only.

    and yes,many girls wish they were born as boy specially when parents put restrictions on them just because they are girls.as as parent we should try to make them comfortable about their feminity rather then constantly reminding them about so called negatives of being a female.
    even if there is some' problem 'as u put i feel there is little u can do to rectify it.
    give ur support ,love & understanding which is very crucial at this stage of life.
    pragati
     
  3. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    Agree with pragati, it is just the phase when they are not yet attracted to boys. And then YOU will wish she was born a boy. :)
    You can try and explain to her that there are appropriate clothings for occasions and sweat pants being casual cannot be worn to parties.
    I see beautiful capris with a hint of lace and t-shirts that has more sass and spunk than all the cleavage revealing little black dresses ;-) Being a tom boy does not necessarily mean being dowdy. Give her choices, but limit them based on the occasion. I know that worked with my parents as far as I was concerned. I still prefer jeans and- t-shirts and keep my hair short, I learnt how to do it in a feminine way. TRust me, pink and frill, are not the only way.
     
  4. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you so much Mahajanpragati and tikka for responding.

    Actually Mahajanpragati I do not put any kind of restrictions just because she is a girl. I myself did not grow up with restrictions. My Parents were fairly broadminded and I was allowed to do things that my brother did. So, I would say I never talk about being a girly girl to my child. And yes she has lot of girls as friends and not all but some of them are very picky and wear just girl clothes. My daughter actually 'teases' them when they she sees them in long frilly frocks.

    I hope this is a passing phase.
     
  5. Zeenat

    Zeenat Silver IL'ite

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    hi adara,
    how much i wish i cud make you talk to my mom, and then you would know how i was a tottal tom boyish. i hated skirts, frocks and girlish dresses. wanted to play cricket, spin tops, play with marbles and fly kites i hardly used to play with kitchen sets. you know same like your DD i used to wear jeans and snickkers for wedding's :bonk. evry1 used to tell me so much dont wear. its a wedding wear smthing formal like chaniya chholi or salwar kammez....but i never owned one so how cud i wear. i remember on eid days after offering eid prayers i used to remove my salwar kameez and end up in burmuda's. and that time i really didnt bother what others felt coz my comfort was more important than anything. i hated the idea of adjusting my skirt or frocks evrytime i sit or stand. so always prefered pants and burmuda's. but as i went to college things changed little. and now im comfortable in both attires. so chill yaar. 1st even i was worried abt my DD not playing girlish games....but then our dear Ilites took that fear out of me. now i just see her grow the way she prefers. i dont worry so much. i think its just some girls hate being born as girls i was the same. but nothing wrong in that. its just a passing phase....may be things might change afterwards. dont worry dear.
     
  6. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Zeenat for responding.

    Now, I feel little comforted to know that this dress struggle is not only in our family.
    Neither dh or I , we never tell our girls to do this and that just becos they are girls. We want them to grow up into smart, confident young ladies. I am happy when my daughter says she wants to be an astronaut. She is 10 and she has made up her mind. She read everything she could about Sunitha Williams and Kalpana Chawla. I will always encourage her to achieve her dreams.
    I am happy about that but you know I am her MOM and want her to be a little girly too.....Do I have a problem or what?:hide:

    Anyway, I am happy to hear from you ladies and to know that it is a passing phase.

    Adara
     
  7. Zeenat

    Zeenat Silver IL'ite

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    hi adara,
    well im really happy to know from you that your lil one wants to become an astranaut :thumbsup. may god bless her and make her acheive her dreams.

    you are not at all in wanting your DD to be little girlish. its i think our mentality that makes us feel that way. we are brought up saying that some things are only meant for boysa nd some only for girls. so when either of them behave differentlt we tend to react to that. there might be many boys who like to wear earings or wud like to learn cooking or grow theit hairs. so may be their moms wud think the other way round. so there nothing wrong dear if you think your DD shud be girlish....its just a mother's feelings towards a girl child. my DD loves watching WWE...:biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaughshe loves to wear only shorts and pants. but at the same time he likes to wear clips matching to her T-shirt. so it sort of makes me little calm after this liking of hers. otherwise even i was worried...:rant:spin.
     
  8. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Happy to hear from you, Zeenat. It is always nice to know how others feel.

    Best wishes to your DD.
     
  9. Thanajmaan

    Thanajmaan New IL'ite

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    u know theres a way u can get around this...i'vehad this problem with my 6 yr old, who loves her cousin brother and so she wants to be just like him..so she used to throw tantrums when i bought dresses for her. i know she wante to wear pants and tshirts and all..so i buy the girls styled ones...they r comfy..yet a little embezzled and shes happy too...recemtly i have seen a change in her...she has begun to like to wear princess frocks and all..i guess her older pretty sister is beginning to have an affect on her! thank god!
     
  10. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Thanajmaan for you response.
    Good to hear that your dd is changing.
    My 10 yr old has a younger sister so I don't think she will impact much on the older sister.
     

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