I am sooo very angry

I agree with you.. The lethargic attitude of the children puts a high tension. I also wonder whether the flaw lies in my parenting skill. Yet in search of the answer.Learning patience to handle them and instilling discipline is nerve wrecking. But I am trying to learn and rebuild everyday. Wish to hear from members who have successfully crossed (crossing) this bridge. Need to start a separate thread for motivating ourself to do a better parenting every day.
I also support your view on funding for the deserving kid.

 

One way of making him responsible is DO NOT DO THINGS for him.
If you did not print what would have happened? let him face it.
Nothing teaches life values like punishment !

 

I don't have any first hand experience of parenting but have watched my sis bring up her kids at close quarters. I have not forgotten my own childhood or how my parents brought me up and so am taking the liberty of posting my opinion and suggestions.

Don't get so upset with him. He is still young and has a long way to go and has many things to learn in life. Some things like responsibility you can teach him by laying down the rules. Any homework that needs to be done or any printouts to be taken have to be done before 5 pm on Sunday or say 8 or 9 pm on a working day. Thereafter you will not do any of those things for him. If he comes to you later than that and mentions anything, too bad, you will not do it for him. I know it will worry you to know that he has consequences to face. But better now than later or never. Let him go to school without having done whatever the assignment. Let him face the consequences once, twice, thrice. Am sure he will learn to be more responsible after that.

 

@swt.charu,

Got a few moments, and just wanted to say..

Hang in there..i will take this as just a vent of a frustrated mom with nothing going right..one of those days...we all have..

i still believe that there has not been much change from 2014.. sorry to bring back the link here. most of the suggestions for the very problems were discussed so well then and i am sure you are trying out something..if you have and if has not worked do tell us so that we can try some other angle..

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/schoolgoers-and-teens/257005-when-did-your-school-going.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/schoolgoers-and-teens/240841-how-make-my-child-understand.html

i also believe he is a confused kid who is taking the cues from the adults in the family - joint family. sometimes the toxicity among the elders is something that the child cannot understand or know to balance. he loves all the four, but is worried how to manage. so it effects in other areas.


he said that there was a print out needed. so what if he does not take that print out that day. he is almost 10 charu and you cannot be behind him for life, assuming you send him for his higher education to india or abroad. let him forget, let him go without completing a few times.. (so what a few b instead of A but he will learn his way by falling and getting up is my opinion..)
I would definitely not get out of bed to print, that. i would have asked him to check everything and arrange everything for sunday morning and keep it ready and you would try to help him take a print out in the morning if he helps..make it his job.he has to do it if he wants it.

Never think my son doesn't deserve all this. come on, you start providing things even before they need it and the day he does not value what is given to him you question whether he qualifies for everything. If you are telling this to your son, you please need to stop, or knowing your son through your post, if he were to ask you "So get yourself a deserving son" in reply could hurt a lot..though he would not even realise the seriousness of his reply..

so it is high time, see if you can sit and talk and come to a conclusion.

All of you need to work together, decide how you are going to approach this. if you leave it you are going to have a child who is going to look at rebelling to control. (Say he relates your shouting to your venting your frustation that is more rooted with the il/parents rather than him.to other arguments and fights at home...oh the woes of joint family and controls..)


You need to talk to him about how it works in joint family ..that all the four of you want the best for him and he is a smart kid who can find his way..


I always think, that quote sums up all our parenting troubles..there is no right or left or the method..you flunk, you cry, you have all the hair rising moments..but every moment of it is a wonderful moment of the journey you will sit and think off..infact your son may also come back to say i am sorry for putting you through so much mom....yeah things do happen..

cheer up..

p.s. will try checking up later..

 

even I wouldn't do that.if they told me at 10.30PM then I don't pay attention and kids have to pay a price to their own.

To be honest, a lot of things are the result of our own parenting style.These days fewer kids and high energy parents and wanted everything to be perfect making our self-restless and unhappy.

Sometimes make deaf ear when kids don't tell you ahead of time.And let them fail few times and then they will pick up the pieces.

here we are afraid making kids fail sometimes.But this is the best age.If it's in high-school,the price is high.Atleast middle school,it's better.