Stay by himself at home till i return

It is difficult to tell as it varies from child to child and situation to situation.
I had started doing that at the age of 10. We used to live in a very secured government colony of quarters. That was sometime in 80s.
But I am not sure if I will be able to allow my DD at 10 for the same. Let's see.

 

Hello Chandra,

Age at which you can leave your child alone at home really depends on your child and how you have prepared him and of course your surrounding & security in your apartment complex

My son is now 15 yrs. My PILs stay in the same apartment building and have the keys to our home. He would earlier come back from school and stay with them. From the time he was 8/9 he would go to our apartment so that he could change and finish his homework etc.
There was always friction with MIL regarding how he does not listen to her or do something.

So from the time he turned 10 afterschool at 3 pm he would collect the key from her and go home, heat his lunch in the micro eat drink and make merry. Watch TV read and play until I came home at 7:30pm. We would then finish homework.

Later as studies demanded he goes for his tutions on his own (well mostly).
Also now as he is in the 10th we have removed his access to TV & computer so that there are no distractions when we are not at home.

What worked for me was
1. He knew his way around the kitchen because I have always involved him.
2. My PILs could keep an eye on him.
3. He was always an independent child with a mind of his own.
4. But as a person he is very cautious so is careful about opening doors etc.

What dint work
1. His studies suffered somewhat
2. When he had access to TV & Comp he was watching whatever
3. He would get his grandparents to order junk food for him.

I have had to deal with each of the above with innovative tactics like if he finished his studies and dint trouble his GPs he would get a treat and limited Comp time every weekend. Also he loves reading so all good actions were rewarded with books that he wanted to read and any rules that were not followed meant that he would not get comp time / treat /book.

It has taken some time but he is a good child and is doing well.

It's also taken a lot to train my PILs to say no to him. If they are required to do anything for him then I tell them & my son together in advance. If he comes to them with any other demands / requests then they must immediately call me. This one thing has really done the job to curb all his nonsense.

Also he has no mobile phone. We got him one just this year and that also he only gets on weekends for 1 hr.
Otherwise he has access to the landline at home and he is expected to call me a few times when he is home. Doesn't happen but he is home so I call him and check on him. He calls me when he needs something so that's OK for now.

I hope this is of help.

Regards
Mani

 

Please dont leave your child unsupervised for such long periods on a daily basis. There is a reason they are children. He is simply too young for such a big responsibility. For next decade or so he needs caring and responsible grownups around him so he can molded and guided into a responsible person. Physically he may be safe enough in your home but mentally with no rules, and free access to the TV and internet... it is simply not worth it. Once on a long while, here and there, asking him to let himself in is a different matter but this should not be a daily arrangement.

 

Don't take this risk. Children are too precious to take any risk on them.

Some kids are careful, and independent in nature. Some are not. Regardless of their nature, they are children. That is the fact.

At home you can't supervise everything by not being with them. At least someone, a care-taker, maid or a neighbor or some relatives (trust worthy) should stay with them till you return. They may not do any work of the house, but you really need someone to be just around the house to have an eye on the child for his safety.

Accidents may happen regardless of how careful the kid is. Afterall, a kid is a kid only. He/she can't always be careful like adults. They can be easily cheated and abused by tactful adults should they know his loneliness at home.

There is always a risk of child trying to switch the gas cooker, electric cooker etc..etc.. and leave unattended with some distraction, like a cartoon or sound outside of the house. It is risky.

Also, they are naughty by nature. At least many of them. They can climb on stair case, windows, upper walls to get something or the other. Any such attempts unsupervised would cause serious harm.

Any accidents like falling, hitting on the wall, etc..etc... may need immediate first aid.
To which they need at least another person to help.

Locking the door and keeping the keys in a safe manner also need maturity. Kids at the age of 10 can't have that level of maturity.

 

Unless you start trusting your child and slowly make them independent , they will always be dependent on you .

Start slow , don't at once leave them to tend for themselves. Try couple of hours initially on weekends with instructions what to do at what time.

Come back early and check if they are opening doors without checking, while you are at home involve them in food preparation appropriate for thier age which will make them independent for thier age. Do you let them go to play by themselves now , if you do then already know how to handle themselves.start slow but teach them how to take care of themselves when you are not around.

Call often to check and make it kid safe.