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Is premarital sex wrong?

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by anika987, May 28, 2015.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Why I am asking this is..saw a survey in YouTube about premarital sex and most girls and guys are totally ok with it and infact one girl said she knows a friend who is in relationship with a guy and he has been in a friends with benefits situation with many! and she is so cool about it...so complicated:))

    Anyways,even some of the friends I Know talk about premarital sex,my choice video and how cool it is and even some say it is ok to be in extra marital relationships if the spouse is not giving you what we need..


    If people are into casual sex..is it really cool?and will they be loyal to the one they marry( even after having so many experiences in the past)forget everything and start a new slate? They can very easily stray...then starts the EMA..

    Why should we let our physical need control our mind?


    Will we be with with our kids dating and into premarital sex?
     
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  2. mimmyme

    mimmyme Gold IL'ite

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    Very serious question.

    If you ask you generation people, of course they will agree with you

    But today's generation may have different opinion.

    Live-In relationship which is getting very common everywhere, even in India. What do you call this type of sex with live-in relationship?

    Outside India, for kids above 16-17 if they don't have girlfriend or boyfriend, is considered as shame..
     
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  3. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    For my kids , Pre marital sex is ok for me only if they love each other and serious about each other, they like and enjoy each other company etc. and in general, they are mature enough to face any type of problem in life, like surprise pregnancy. And both don't have any baggages like previous relationships or huge financial debts because of irresponsibility, not college fees related debts I am saying. And finally they should be willing to marry. If they want each other so much why not marry? Mine is old school right, but as my kid grow, I also will learn how their generation is going, but my opinion would be the same.


    Op, I too believe if a person is too casual about pre marital sex withe several one after the other, they can never value intimacy, and can't commit to one person , and if committed also may be because of kids or society.

    and extra marital sex , I say never Because it won't stop at sex, people emotionally get attached and the three people will be unhappy in this.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks mimmy and Kashmir:)

    true..it is easy to say we r very broad minded and totally ok with casual sex.some think it is too cool.however,when it comes to their kids people change.they may not agree on the outside but inwardly ,I feel most parents( even the ones who had EMA,premarital casual sex etc) may not be ok with their dear kids into the above.even if they are,they will make sure the kids r in a serious relationship etc..


    on a funny note..for casual sex,how does it matter what education or baggage does anyone have:)as long as they do not have STD things r fine.

    However,tough to even imagine our dear kids r into this right?

    Sometimes,it is also OK to be a little outdated,in balance with the culture.It would be nice if kids do not get succumbed to peer pressure and are made to feel they HAVE to date or it is insulting to be a virgin these days.
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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  6. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    I don't think pre-marital sex is wrong, it works favorably for a lot of cultures where people don't differentiate if it is the man or woman having premarital sex. But in a culture where the woman is looked down upon, I do not think it is worth it. As for the former, it works well as sexual compatibility is an important factor in a marriage and a person knowing their future wife/husband before hand helps. It does carry the risk of STD's and unwanted pregnancy, and am hoping that both individuals will be smart enough to protect themselves.
     
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  7. Swasha

    Swasha Gold IL'ite

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    OP,

    Seems you are very worried about the future of your Kids, Nobody knows what's in there in future for the kids Nor you can control. There is nothing in your hands. But all you can do is to teach them good Moral values, what is good and bad, what are the right choices to make and what are dangers lingering out there and safety precautions. Thats all you can do.
     
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  8. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Anika,

    I totally missed that you had posted this in school goers and teens. I was talking about premarital sex in a slightly older/mature group, definitely not the young one who still live with parents and are too young.
     
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  9. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Pre-martial sex. Among youngsters, there is no question of right or wrong. It is a matter of personal choice.
    Among kids/Teenagers.. not a healthy sign either physically, emotionally or socially.

    Extra martial affair. Again depends on the definition of morality for a person.
    Physically.. no comments. Definitely not healthy socially or even emotionally.
     
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  10. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    It is a personal choice. When talking about teenagers it is a completely different story if it is a 13 year old vs a 19 years old. Premarital sex is not the same thing as casual sex.

    In patriarchal cultures there has been (and still is) a lot of pressure on the girls/women that they should stay "pure". Like having sex would make you dirty :rant

    It is important to teach kids about sexual health (STD:s, pregnancies etc) and make them strong so they do not give in to pressure (to have or not to have sex). It is her choice ;)
     
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