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5 year old not speaking clearly

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by wings2010, Feb 10, 2015.

  1. wings2010

    wings2010 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    I will explain little about my background before i enter into issue. I am a reserved person and i was working for 5 years in mnc until i deliver my son. My husbands office timing (7 am to 8:30 max or rarely at 10). we are staying in apartment in Bangalore. in my floor all the other 3 houses are of different age group children, so my son cant play with and they also don't like (bit selfish kind of other than one house ). I put my son for playgroup before joining prekg. now he in lkg. My sons classmate(girl) from other floor is best friend for him, in her house she and her grand mom since both of parent are working. also some other kids from other blocks are of( more or less) same age group will play in basement.
    Issue:
    all other kids are teasing my son that he is not pronouncing clearly( am worried). second he wont run fast also.. always last..he will tell that he has fever all the time that's y he cant run(reasons )..i met teacher..the teacher said..he is crying for everything (to write in board or to speak). i thought of training him numbers and other things.. he is not concentrating much..it ends up in bangs which makes me feel bad. his dad has no time for him..but i am always with him. he is adamant that he wants what ever dress he likes. i really dono to handle. he is little different from other kids.. more emotional..he is crying that his regular class teacher didn't come and some one has come instead of her and not writing it seems.
    though my marriage is arranged one none of family members came to help me when i am willing to join back office, they don't mind me actually..nobody thinks am important including my husband otherwise they would have helped me na. if someone scold and tease me from his family also my husband will keep mumb. i bare lot of losses...i dont want my son to be a loser when kids are smart though both parent are working and leaving in daycare. i know my son is emotional and innocent but i cant tolerate when others comment on him.. please help dear friends. advice me. ( also am not comparing with other kids, in this age i hope all kids will speak clearly..here kids of his age group speaks english, hindi etc).
     
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  2. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Wings, hugs to you. One of the hardest things about parenting is witnessing our children being made fun of and not knowing what to do to make the situation better. Now, what language do you speak at home? Does he properly understand your language?
    Here are some tips to consider:


    1. When he mispronounces something, immediately correct him. I am sure you are already doing it.
    2. When he is getting emotional, calmly ask him why he is upset. More often than not, there is a reason why he is crying. It could be a small reason for us but a major one for him. Look for the triggers.
    3. Do they have any running races every other day? It’s OK to run slow. I would not worry too much about it, unless he is obese. Is he over weight?
    4. Some kids to struggle with concentration. I hope you are not hitting him. Set small goals when it comes to studies. Like, if you want him to learn something, set a timeline. Like, 15 minutes. Then he can take a 5or 10 minutes break and then, he is expected to sit with you again.
    5. Look for creative ways to teach him. Perhaps the traditional book and pencil are not working? Maybe try using flash cards or try using other techniques to teach the same thing. Like teaching him sums and subtraction using vegetables or flowers in the garden or stones at a construction site or your hair clips or his shirt buttons.
    6. Ask for help from your husband. He is expected to help you with your son in his own way and not leave you the whole responsibility of raising him.
     
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  3. wings2010

    wings2010 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Rakhii,
    Ur quick response gave me warmth feeling..thanks a lot ..we speak tamil in home , he is ok in tamil still the pronunciation should be clear.

    Regarding tips ::


    1. When he mispronounces something, immediately correct him. I am sure you are already doing it.

    Re: Yes am doing that.

    2. When he is getting emotional, calmly ask him why he is upset. More often than not, there is a reason why he is crying. It could be a small reason for us but a major one for him. Look for the triggers.

    Re: Mostly he cries if his favorite teacher is not there or his best friend is missing or he miss me , then he cries we tell him to do some work which he is not willing to (like writing numbers etc)

    3.Do they have any running races every other day? It’s OK to run slow. I would not worry too much about it, unless he is obese. Is he over weight?

    Re: The race is not in school. its with apartment kids in the play area or in basement. my son always wanted to wear jeans and full sleeves even for playing , he doesn't wear tracks or ordinary trousers ,i guess wearing jeans and running is bit difficult(not sure)..so the all other kids moms will irritate me telling that we don't understand what he is speaking..he always tell he is having fever that's y he cant run and they will laugh at both of us..some how i managed them in other ways such that they wont directly comment to my son and even to me ..but still the truth is there. my son will look lean but he is of correct weight and normal height as average Tamil people are.


    4.Some kids to struggle with concentration. I hope you are not hitting him. Set small goals when it comes to studies. Like, if you want him to learn something, set a timeline. Like, 15 minutes. Then he can take a 5or 10 minutes break and then, he is expected to sit with you again.

    Re: I notice him he is more concentrating towards tv and while watching cartoons, i hit him otherwise i can not get his attention but only smaller doses at the back( i knew its bad way , i didnt know other ways ). yes i do what you said about smaller goals and timeline.


    5.Look for creative ways to teach him. Perhaps the traditional book and pencil are not working? Maybe try using flash cards or try using other techniques to teach the same thing. Like teaching him sums and subtraction using vegetables or flowers in the garden or stones at a construction site or your hair clips or his shirt buttons.

    Re: Yes am already doing that. problem arises when he writes..orally he is fine..for example he knew all the alphabets when we ask individually and as ABCD song he tells fully..when i tell him write he is not writing in order ..he forgets to write many letters..I will tell him to sing song up to letter where struck so that he can continue but he doesn't know or not following what i tell,...he ll sing full song without noticing where he struck and will say ..i sang song mummy after Z.
    He struggles for telling numbers (tens..20,30)..he is fine up to 19..then he struck for 20...same way he will tell up to 29..and struck for 30..and he totally doesn't know to write numbers after 12..:(.


    6.Ask for help from your husband. He is expected to help you with your son in his own way and not leave you the whole responsibility of raising him.

    Re: Yes , i do expect but morning before we get up he will leave to his office and since he wakes up early morning he will come , eat and sleep after half an hour speaking with kid. Sunday is off for him..he will spent whole day with my son taking him to park and get him what he likes. the day will fly just like that...
    i knew he is not willing to or can not change his job or timings..so much of fights and discussions are done..the fact is this. so i am filling his space by telling my son..dad kissed you when he goes office and told you to read today..then only he will get you this and that ..etc buildups.. my son is very dear to me..notice if am little dull also and ask me what happened, he often hugs me and rush towards me for anything ,only in studies he is like this..his creativity is good. i want him to be bold and confident. kindly let me know how i can make him bold..

    Thanks a lot for your valuable ideas and suggestions...i feel really happy. love this site. :). god bless you.

    wings.
     
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  4. msm

    msm Gold IL'ite

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    Wings - dont worry. I dont see any pbm in your kid. He is just so lovely in his own ways.

    My first daughter never talked anything like a kid - hers was perfect pronunciation, but my second one is very much liked for her "Mazhalai" her kiddish way of talking... When she came to US, she can't speak English, now her vocabulary is amazing, still her Tamil is in mazhalai only.

    If you can ride/drive - take him out to parks or malls or gatherings he can play with other kids (where he feels confident of himself) and away from this smart kids of ur apartment. Once he gains himself with various unknown kids, accompany him with your apt kids, in your presence they wont mock him too much, there on he will be able to manage himself. During weekends, u can ask ur husband to do some mock racing with your son and let him win multiple times and lose few times - this will help him realize that he too can win. Here you can try like - running with track pants get him more winning shots than running on jeans.

    Over the times - let him face the world, don't be over protective, sometimes that could be the reason of this constant cry/missing his fav.teacher, friend and you. he just want someone to lean-on, nothing wrong, but the world can't be always nice to him with all his nice people...

    Don't worry, he will grow up nicely.
     
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  5. preethiitech

    preethiitech Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I too don't see anything wrong with your kid.

    Just wanted to add on this:
    Appreciate your son for the good things he does, even the tiny things.. Children love that they are appreciated. (Like the mom claps her hands in 'pasanga' movie.. for every little thing and the boy will just do everything for that appreciation to the extent of getting well after an accident) I do that with my DD, and nowadays she does something and asks me to say 'good girl'.

    Be confident, and teach your boy to be confident.. The family may not be in a position to help everyone always, put by those thoughts.. That is why the family becomes 'extended family' after wedding.

    Now your family is you, Dh and your son.! And please don't beat him..

    Try alternate methods of teaching like flash cards, number games, magic slate, even phone apps with number games, alphabet games for kids..(This phone apps is a two way sword.. Children learn a lot but it has a danger of addiction. So beware and restrict the timings; say "only once after you drink your milk, then tomorrow again")

    Take your child and go out to parks, shopping malls, library, lakes anywhere nearby. There are millions of kids outside your apartment, and everyone wont make fun of him. He needs more exposure..

    Don't worry.. He is fine :thumbsup
     
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  6. Sweetgirl123

    Sweetgirl123 Silver IL'ite

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    Actually I was told not to correct a child misprouncing a word but rather repeat the correct word, verb tense whatever the mistake is back to the child.
    Ex child: look, there is a cal
    Adult: yes that's right it is a nice car.
    Beinf constanly corrected can be frustrating for the child so rather positive reinforcement is advised.

    Also , lack of concentration and being overly emotional, upset about disturbances in routine and liking of tv could be syntoms of ADD( attention deficit disorder). However you should talk with doctor about this and get his opinion.
    a lot of add kids also have problem writing ( motor skills) and could have other learning disabilities. The earlier it is caught, the more can be done to help them.
    turn off the tv completely or don't let him be in room the tv is on. TV can have a very negative impact on child's development and should only be on short periods.
     
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  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @wings2010 - For a three year old to have speech issues it's probably ok but at five I wouldn't wait for it to self correct if I were you. This is affecting his social skills.

    What is the Pediatrician saying? You need to get him checked out thoroughly. Speech issues are easily correctable by a therapist. He might not be getting all his sounds right, that's why he is lacking clarity. For most of us, making sounds the right way comes naturally. For some children, due to any number of reasons, they cannot make certain sounds. They have to be taught how to roll their tongue, how to cut off the air or prolong the air etc to differentiate between sounds. A qualified speech therapist will be able to very easily help him.

    You mentioned slow running. How slow is he? Does he climb up and down stairs using alternate legs properly with balance? Is he able to open lids etc without help(things that regular 5yrs old can open). The doctor needs to check his gross motor skills. It maybe an easily rectifiable issue. Why let the child go through issues playing with peers?

    Regarding the missing letters while writing, when did he learn his ABCs? A year or two ago right? Then it is very uncommon to get confused with written letters. Please discuss all this with the Pediatrician and figure out how you can help. It's probably something very small but without knowing the root cause of his issues you can't help him.

    Hth,
    L
     
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  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    see my response in blue
     
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  9. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    He is still a small child and no need to press him to learn letters and numbers yet. That will come. It is more important at that age to play, have discussions about the surroundings, doing things together. Scolding and hitting will get things worse.

    You may want to consult a speech therapist regarding the speaking problems. Some children need predictability, they need to know in advance what is happening. Try to as much as possible to explain what you do next, who is going to be there etc (it is of course not always possible). A lot of hugs and lap time.
     
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  10. wings2010

    wings2010 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear msm,

    Yes I will take him to park and allow him to mingle with other kids. thats nice idea about mock race. of course i understand world will not be nice always to him thats why i want him to be little more strong and manage himself..i noticed he is innocent for his age. anyways each kid is unique and i will try the ways you mentioned. Thanks a lot.
     

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