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Loner behaviour with my 1st grader

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by busymama, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. busymama

    busymama New IL'ite

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    My DD is in Grade 1 now and I have noticed that she is not able to associate with her classmates. She is showing signs of a loner behaviour. I am absolutely worried about this because I think that it somehow restricts her growth, at least socially she becomes weaker. Plus, she is more vulnerable to bullying by other kids. I have seen her numerous times waiting to get into the class before the school and she stands by herself without any interaction with her class mates. As I have observed, the other classmates in general are either talking to each other or playing together. I do want to mention that it does not seem like she is concerned about this although she has expressed about moving to a different school at times. So I am not sure what are things to do to change this behaviour or possibly some solutions to consider? Of course, we are a minority here and so that factor does come to mind as well. I would love to hear thoughts from others. Thanks much for your helpful suggestions in advance.
     
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  2. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Have you tried to arrange play dates with any of the classmates?
     
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  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    how is she otherwise. does she play wtih you at home, or even at home she plays alone. does she have issues communicating or having fun with people at home.

    never think that it is going to make her weaker. you are not weak or strong based on your social skills or your friends circle.

    . just because she is careful does not mean bullying but i would not overlook that feeling. do talk to her teacher and find out if it is just your observation when you drop and pick or she mingles as she warms up to the class as the day progresses.

    .
    does she give you any reason. may a little playful probing is needed, to know the reason behind her wish to move to a different school. is it the school, is it the teacher or is the children.


    Sometimes, havign friends apart from school helps. how about making a few friends at the park or in the community. and do not restrict her based on being minority. you never know your child may find a wonderful friends out there..

    do you people have friends, to whom you talk, who visit each other. sometimes tlaking to her about how you have friends, how you made friends, how it was difficult initially yet you made nice friends..

    encouraging her to talk is the way ahead. encourage her to talk about her class activities to get your clues, take it from the clues on how to approach the issue. if she favors somebody and that somebody rejects her, tell her it is ok and she can still be friend with her and other too.

    have a play dates as crayoness suggests.
     
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  4. Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    - if she started school recently, it takes time to adjust if she does not know English very well (my son is such a social animal today but he started school not till age 3 and he had hard time as he did not know english even a little bit)

    - is this the change in the behavior? Then it is surely a flag that something is bothering her, you may want to talk to her more and find out

    -i totally agree on play dates, it makes a big diffrenece and try doing it as family as well as just kids

    - sign her up for a couple of classes where she meets more kids besides school kids
     
  5. busymama

    busymama New IL'ite

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    Yes, I have done that in the past. Perhaps I am slacking on those .. i will definitely get that going. Thanks!:)
     
  6. busymama

    busymama New IL'ite

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    She is generally okay at home. She is either playing by herself or with her elder sister and cousins, when they are visiting or we are. So no issues there at all. No issues with communication or having fun at home as well. All good there. Of course this is one of the reasons why I don't get it since she is chirpy at home and very active but does not show the same attitude in class.

    The only thing I can say to that is, never say never. We can disagree on that but social skills is a strength in my opinion.

    I have tried talking to the teacher as well and in general she said, your kid is just fine. I will try to be more specific with the teacher next time so I can get a better response. Thanks.

    No specific reasons as such. We have tried talking to her but can't get much out.



    Yes, we do have family and friends around. In those situations, like i said earlier, there are no issues and she is just fine. It's the school or class where things start to go in a different direction. Thanks for the clues .. i will try to think through those thoughts and connect some dots.

    Yep ..will work on that too. Just don't to pressure her too much. Some good suggestions there. Thanks again for writing!
     

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