How to make kids responsible for their things?

shari,


have been there. have lost a lot of them.

so what worked for me..

1. keeping a weekly replenishing and not giving into giving one everytime they lose. (unless it was a accident or there is a exam)
2. appreciating their responsiblity at the end of the week
3. teaching them that it is not bad to ask what is yours, while it is bad to keep what is not yours.

and also do check if she feels that she will lose her friends by asking. there is a borrowers psychology even among kids. they borrow from the kids, whom they know get it replenished and will not miss. they borrow from the ones who are timid and will not ask. they borrow just to show that they are boss

so if she has the fear, you need to work on it. tell her that it is her pencil and colors. and she will let it only if it is given back properly and she will not allow others to use them unless they do so.

and yes ask her to keep track of what she takes to school that day in the morning and what she brings back. also ask her to keep what she uses in the class back into her pouch or box immediately and not leav it scattered to be collected in the evening.

 

you could introduce a 'bag and color check' every evening policy. For next few weeks, everyday when she comes home you check to see if she has brought back all her things. If she does she gets a star. If she collects x many stars means some reward that she really likes -- get to see a disney movie or something she really really wants to do. If she knows that very evening mom is going to check she may be more careful or refuse to lend her things. or whatever.

 

shari2003 love, it not a miracle or magic. been there handled two of my own through lots of these issues..and i can visualise her giving you that answer..that is the new gen tween for you. you have to keep thinking on your feet and staying steps ahead of them. tell her that you are happy that she has not lost for 2 weeks, but that she is growing up and does not need these 2 week timeframes and you are sure she is going be happy keeping her things safe..

this is one of the most common reasons. it will take her a little more time and exposure to understand that the friends who treat her this way are not worth being scared of losing. until then tell her that she is not going to lose friends because of asking. sometimes friends' forget and it is not wrong in reminding them to give back what they borrowed. tell her to joke, about reminding her friends to return back for their own good...

she will learn. tell her that i can only tell you ways that can help you do things better. to accept and follow is a choice i am giving, however if you follow and are able to do better, i will be the first one cheering you and being happy.

we learn along with them and encourage her and boost her confidence..

 

Wonderful suggestions,

1) One more thing I like to add. Try to add her name on her thing with permanent marker where ever is possible.

If not pssoible say on pencils or pencil colors you can add initial with marker.

2) Teach her what to say when she lends it

"When you return, make sure it is this same one which is marked"
"When would you give it back? i need it for my work"

tieing friends into returning before landing will offend them less and will be easier for her to ask later without fear of breaking of friendship as she already mentioned that they need to return, and kids gets psycology impact to return it without feeling bad

3) U also need to teach her to say no, saying i need it for now, or give me red one back so that i can use it while you borrow this.

4) teach her also if friends break up just because you would take ur own thing back are not true friends, this creates the base for not to take peer pressure at any age, VERY IMPORTANT...and believe me she will be still end up with friends as some are still good and do not break up like that