I am in big confusion

I think sooner the better. She will pick up the studies better at a younger age. I don't know about Chennai. So I can't say about the maids.

 

Sister Arunya,

:welcome to IL family,

May be for some reasons your Dh has decided to R2I after some years (six years from now from your post)

Being a PR holder, If I were in your shoes, would continue her school education in Singapore itself and help her to pursue her UG/PG also in Singapore, even if you both plan to return back which gives her a good future.

If it at all you plan to give her Education in India, then as your Dh said it is better to be back in sixth itself:

1. Getting admission in sixth is easier (choice, donation) than eighth

2. Coping up from Sixth onwards would be comfortable for DD at Eighth will be tougher both the change form country and also the method of learning.

BTW getting admission into Medicine also you have to work hard right from Ninth because these days it is very competitive and every minute of hers should be for education only, Sorry I am not adding to your confusion but the real fact.

With regard to the Full Time Maid in Chennai, if you are not gone to work then you don't need a full time maid, you can manage to have maids you would help in cleaning chores.

Hope you got some clarity, May Baba guide you, SAIRAM

May Baba guide you always, SAIRAM

 

Hi arunya,
I understand ur confusion but saisakthi mam is right.
See if you wanna use r21 then u need to get here in 8 th class itself ... But remember its not gonna be that easy to cope up with a whole new set up here suddenly at class 8.
If u have the 6 the standard shifting option open that's the best but for r21.
Earlier the better like many said here. But who knows , if ur daughter is a fighter n works hard at class 8 she ll fare well!
Good wishes and May Lord Narayana be with u all.

 

I don't know which category you belong. if you are oc/fc then it becomes more tougher to get a seat. the margins increase. the cut offs are way beyond reasoning. and how things will change in the future is not known. we are not able to predict the next year leave alone future.

fees here in decent schools will be around 40k-1lac depending on the area/brand and other things.

adjusting to environment, peers and syllabbus is not so hard as we want to believe. i have seen a couple of kids in my circle who relocated from the uk in 10th and have now acquired professional courses seats in india. they qualified iit and other exams only thing was they are not considered indian residents. what i want to convey is i think other than tamilnadu karnataka, andhra are considreing reverse brain drain and have relaxed the number of years. a 3 continuous year period is now considered domicillary,if the child is doing extremely well. i think it could be a case to case issue too.

syllabus and education when you hear from abroad feels as if your daughters peers here are doing more than your daughter, but when you land and get into the stream you will feel the difference. I do not want to say there is nothing bad about cbse/icse or even the state board but i definitely find them lacking. the element of consistency has disappeared with the whims of the men at the helm. we now have open book assessments, problem solving assements apart from the other assessments that nowhere actually measure the callibre of the child's knowledge, only how good he was listening to the school. oops..i let myself get carried away when i talk about education...

op, seriously when your husband is not earning well, your paying 2000$ a month for you DD that too your entire salary without any satisfaction is something that is not so encouraging. i know many here from sg who send their children to public schools. a child will easily adapt maybe fumble a bit get a d is a few tests, but will then pick up. do not decide just because your husband is tell you. sit and work out the pros and cons. come to india on your vacation, check out things for yourself and then decide. moving schools locally itself is a big chore these days. moving your daughter from one country to another definitely you need to think a lot.

if you are decided on going back to india in two years, 6 or 8 may not be the same..but then sometimes it is a lot of difference. it is difficult to explain what it is.

Even people who stay locally cannot depend on parents or in-laws if they are not staying in the same house. things are not the same as it was 5years/10 years/20 years. india has equally changed along with the world. the stress, the work culture and schedules demand a lot out of people. and expecting somebody to help you by dropping out of their schedules is not going to happen. so if you do not have expectations on that grounds and are very clear you have crossed half the distance. the other half, when you want to stay with your girl, i would not want to have a full time maid.instead i will check if i can get a apartment in a community or a 40/100 apartment place were there are students of her age and also there is 24x7 security and hospitals, shops nearby.all this after deciding on her school.if your child wants to do medicine, by 9th you will be seasoned mom who knows what class is taken where, who is special in biology, who does a good job in medical entrance, whether you should take admission with akash or some other person. where should your child go to tutions. you survive the circus only if you believe that you can do. being scared will not help. you need a kind of strength to make a long distance marriage work and also your home safe and happy zone for your teenager.

I wish that your husband definitely is able to come back by her 12th.

Nobody other than you,your husband and daughter can decide what is the right choice for you. i can only say, it is difficult thing to stay alone and manage, and you need enormous strength come what may to tackle things.

I r2i in 2007 when my daughter was going into 7th because my MIL passed away and FIL did not like the country that we were staying inspite of having a Resident Permit. it is 2014 i stay here while my dh still works abroad. we had plans of his relocating back in 2010, but sometimes things that we plan do not happen. I stay here with a 79 year old fil who is just another kid and two teenage kids alone.

yes, difficult, but manageable, but not everybody's cup of tea. if you are strong, mentally then go ahead.